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“Honey badger don’t care?” I care. I care plenty.

 

So I had aspirations to write an entire post about Tim Tebow, especially considering the reaction one little mention got me yesterday (Tebow is the Kardashian of the NFL? That’s preposterous.).  I even had an F. Scott Fitzgerald quote ready to go to open up.  It was, like, poignant and crap.  However, after watching the SEC BCS Championship game last night, I reconsidered; something else is on my mind.

 

If I have to hear one more person say “Honey Badger”, I’m gonna strangle a dead horse.  That doesn’t even make sense.  That’s how mad I am.  I hate it.  I didn’t even like typing it just now.  I get it.  I’ve seen the YouTube video.  It was interesting for… maybe three to four minutes, and that’s being generous.  Why can’t you call the guy by his actual freaking name?  You know the announcers hated saying that over and over again, and if they didn’t hate it, they should have.  This idea of giving yourself a nickname is ridiculous, and it’s an epidemic originating from the likes of Ochocinco and Metta World Peace.  Those just don’t sound cool when you tell people how you got it, like a good nickname should.

 

A nickname explanation should sound like this:

PersonOne: “My name’s Karl, but my friends call me the Mailman.”

PersonTwo: “Why do they call you the Mailman, Karl?”

Mailman: “Because I always deliver.”

 

 

It SHOULD NOT sound like this:

PersonOne: “My name’s Chad, but you can call me Ochocinco.”

PersonTwo: “Why can I call you Ochocinco, Chad?”

Ochocinco: “Because that’s the Spanish translation of my number, eighty-five.”

 

 

Generally, though, regardless of how good a nicknames is, if you’re not part of a team’s fanbase already, their players’ nicknames are only going to make you like them less.  Any non-Lakers fans like “Black Mamba”?  How many in the Red Sox crowd enjoy hearing “A-Rod” over and over again (in the playoffs)?  Likely few.  Meanwhile, LSU fans probably love seeing Tyrann Mathieu’s pseudonym (probably because they can’t read “Tyrann Mathieu”)(…or “pseudonym”, for that matter) on every single ESPN article on the NCAAFB page, even though we likely won’t see it for a few weeks after last night.  Typically, though, the rule is this: if you don’t like the team, you won’t like the nickname.

 

Like any rule, there are exceptions.  Especially with the older generations of sportsmen/broadcasters.  Those guys knew how to give nicknames that sounded cool and fit absolutely perfectly.  Anybody know Magic Johnson’s first name without looking it up?  Don’t bother.  I’m not gonna tell you what it is, either, because that man’s name is Magic.  It fits him like a glove, and he should only be referred to as such.  Dr. J is another one that transcends the usual nickname stigma.  Dude even got commercials based on his nickname.  Good commercials.  And while those are good, the best nickname ever has to be Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson.  I don’t know if it’s the audacity or lewdness that makes it so great, but oh my goodness if it isn’t fantastic.  Clearly, nicknames can be a powerful tool if used properly.

 

But what about UK’s nicknames?  Surely those aren’t bad, right?  There’s no question that we certainly love to give them out (See:  Jorts, Boogie, The UnderKanter, just in the last three years).  Honestly, and I’m a little biased here, I think our nicknames are some of the best around.  Because the driving factor behind our nicknames is really just silliness, as opposed to trying to think of a way to make our players sound cooler, it ends up being more endearing and more meaningful.  We get one of the most menacing players in a decade, and we call him Boogie.  That’s funny.  Tall white kid?  Better call him Jorts.  And that’s what nicknames should be: a fun way to show you care.  NOT trying to make your guys sound like the toughest kid on the block.  Then it just sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself, instead of everybody else.

 

Miscellaneous BCS Notes:

-Alabama’s kicker (Jeremy Shelley) looks like Josh Groban.  Anybody know if he sang the National Anthem at the start? I bet it was beautiful.

-If they make a movie about Nick Saban, he should be played by Tommy Lee Jones.

-LSU really was pathetic.  Abysmal.  Atrocious.  I like Les Miles. He coaches like he’s playing NFL Blitz, and that’s something I can get behind.  But come on… Every single call seemed to be the wrong one.  Les should have pulled a George Costanza at halftime and done exactly the opposite of what his instincts told him.  At least then he could say he tried to change it up.  The announcers celebrated the Tigers crossing midfield like they scored a touchdown, for crying out loud.  It was that bad.

-Jordan Jefferson displayed perfectly how not to run an option play.  He consistently ran away from his blockers, and always seemed to be blaming his teammates every time the camera lighted on him after a botched play.  Step up, son. Take credit, and blame, where they’re due.

-The hats, at the end… “D-ONE”… Done?  Division One?  Defense Won?  Whatever. They were dumb.

-A.J. McCarron got Offensive MVP.  Wait, instead of the guy that scored 71% of the points for the entire game?  Garbage.

 

You’ll want to check back in later today to see what else is new. Rumor is, there’s a podcast going up.  Then again, I said the same thing yesterday.  Nobody tells me anything around here.

Article written by Corey Nichols

70 Comments for “Honey badger don’t care?” I care. I care plenty.



  1. Uncle Ted
    9:03 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    First



  2. barn
    9:06 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    you can call me snake



  3. Steve
    9:12 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Black Mamba is an awesome nickname. *shrug*



  4. Dean
    9:12 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I feel like this was secretly written by BTI



  5. Nick
    9:14 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    This guy is funny. Keep him around.



  6. Carl
    9:14 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Does anyone writing for KSR pay attention anymore before they rant. Mathieu didn’t give himself the name. He didn’t even know what a honeybadger was until someone showed him the video. LSU looked atrocious on offense because they tried to run the same plays they had been running all year against the best defense since 1986 Chicago Bears (yes, the NFL Bears)…and the defense had 44 days to prepare. Saban was able to move the ball against the second best defense in college football because he brought new offensive schemes to the game. McCarron had to lead the team down the field to get them in field goal range, the kicker was in for one play.
    It’s a sad state of this generation, they are so narrow minded they only seem to care about who’s scoring the points. There is a lot more to football and basketball than scoring.
    I do agree Jefferson was the anti-McCarron, couldn’t make plays and seemed to be angry the whole game.



  7. Nigel Jefferson
    9:14 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    #4 Spot on.



  8. Dee
    9:15 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    McCarron was fantastic….he was without a doubt offensive MVP……jeebus…between you and franklin…does the KSR compound know anything about football???????



  9. ksrline4
    9:15 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    . . . . ………………



  10. Honey Badger
    9:18 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    HoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadgerHoneyBadger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111



  11. KidCody
    9:21 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    A redditor I presume?



  12. TheReal
    9:21 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Agree with number 7. I know it’s a blog but really, if u want us to read atleast do a few minutes of homework.
    And why would a kicker get MVP? He missed two field goals and an extra point and connected on basic field goals. Not impressive just barely did his job. Not MVP.
    Watch more football.



  13. DEasy
    9:24 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Ewwwwwwwwww… is that a snake?



  14. Brando11
    9:24 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I have to admit I kinda like Honey Badger if for no other reason it’s a nick name that is original and not a take on letters from his name. I’m so tired of A-Rod, KG, C-Webb, J-Kidd, T-Mac, Big Ben, D-Wade and almost every other current nick name. Whatever happened to great nick names like Chocolate Thunder Darryl Dawkins and Cornbread Maxwell. I think I’m old.



  15. Steve
    9:25 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    You guys do realize he compared Alabama’s defense to the 86 Bears, right? That was considerably dumber than anything Corey wrote. FREAKING 86 BEARS? SERIOUSLY?



  16. I'mTheDaddy
    9:26 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Those face graphics that you used are really freakin me out!



  17. here ya go
    9:30 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Honey badger was given to him from the palmer and pollack show on espn.. not by himself.



  18. Space between John Hoods jersey and chest
    9:31 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    This was okay….



  19. UKBlueBlood81
    9:36 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Tommy Lee Jones? No way – I say get Huey Lewis for Saban and Kurt Russell for Miles.



  20. BG KY Dave
    9:37 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I like the Honey Badger nickname and all our beloved UK nicknames. I mean Browdown is awesome (Matt, this is a good use of the word awesome :-).

    What about a team nickname for our 11-12 Wildcats? It’s going to happen. Why not put KSR twist to it, MATT. How about Browdown to CAL’s Lobsters. That’s a goofy name but lets come up with something good.



  21. Chris
    9:39 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Nice post. Keep this guy around.



  22. Silky Johnson
    9:42 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Earvin … i believe his given name is Earvin Johnson … but my Nickname is better, but only slightly better than Dewey Cox



  23. Jarweed
    9:42 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    22. If anyone calls this team the Lobsters they get thrown back in the tank.



  24. Brent Musberger
    9:46 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    NOBODY made me say Honey Badger. I love it. I can’t get enough of saying it. In fact, I get an erection every time I say it.



  25. Hoss
    9:47 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    #7 wins. It’s not that hard. You just have to watch the whole season, not just the bowls.

    LSU screwed up by trying to play the samer game over again. Saban had wrinkle after wrinkle to match every single deficiency from the previous game and Les just sat on his ass. Like, passing on 1st down for the entire 1st half. Once that happened continually and successfully for Bama, you could see the horseshoe fall right out of Miles’ ass.



  26. bigbluedude
    9:47 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    where are the brilliant people that were on here yesterday saying alabama didnt deserve to play in this game? crickets….



  27. ebell55
    9:47 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    The Honey Badger is a cool nickname I think you are being a serious player hater. Comparing it to Ochocinco please stop.



  28. BG KY Dave
    9:47 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    25. Ok Jar-of-Weed (Ummm smells like a skunk in here) I think you’re right so what-u-got for a team nickname. If they win it all they’ll get one. So what’s yours?



  29. Harley Wells
    9:48 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    “Sky” Walker best UK nickname. Good post.



  30. Jarweed
    9:53 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    30, BG KY Dave, you gave yours and I give mine, that’s fair enough. I like the Highbrow Cats.



  31. Charlie Day
    10:02 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    someone hasn’t seen the honey badger video.



  32. J mac
    10:02 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Where does KSR find some of these guys? Like a couple people have said if you are going to write a whole post and complain about something at least know what your talking about. Les gave Mathieu the nickname and it stuck, I’m sure he would rather not be known as “the honey badger”, but it is what it is. IMO it is a perfect nickname for him based on the way he play’s the game of football, if your going to gripe about nicknames I can think of many more that are far worst and some of which were probably fabricated by those who made up their own nicknames trying to be cool.



  33. Scottyb
    10:04 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    This is the way I remember KSR blogs being written. Hats off Corey.



  34. bigcat76
    10:06 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    “Dinner Bell” Mel (Turpin) one of the all time great nicknames.



  35. Kyle Heavy
    10:07 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Good post. Tough crowd. They forget this site is free and you’re pay is probably equivalent to what the Turtle Man gets for removing a skunk from a chicken barn– A half dozen chicken eggs, a pint of Goats milk, and 15 dollars in pennies.



  36. Don't Call Me Honey Badger
    10:09 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Kevin Spacey has the role of Nick Saban locked up.



  37. pcefrog5
    10:12 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    This year’s team name… “The Regulators” starring Gillie the Kid



  38. ChicagoCat
    10:15 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Like the post at least in that its an upgrade over BTI. Good potential here. I will have to point out though that I’m pretty sure Mathieu didn’t give himself the nickname Honey Badger. Musberger was talking about it last night if I recall.



  39. Al B. Sure
    10:17 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.



  40. kymover
    10:36 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Did anyone get tried of Brent Mushburger? He was so bad I turned the audio off.



  41. Echo 1
    10:43 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Dude. Up your meds. You spent this much effort over a nickname? I am waiting for you to go all Ike Turner on your girlfriend. Oh, one more thing…… Honey badger, honey badger, honey badger!!!!!



  42. P. S. Rogers
    10:46 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Do you have any interesting nicknames, Corey?



  43. Joe
    10:51 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Why would the kicker be player of the game? Great, he made five field goals. He also missed another one and had one blocked and missed an extra point. Seriously, he hit from 23, 34, and 35 yards. Those should be automatic. Otherwise, he hit from 41 and 44 and missed from 41 and was blocked from 42. There was nothing special about his performance.



  44. ktmiln2
    10:53 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I like this guy.



  45. BCS sucks
    11:08 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    While Les Miles can take the blame as coach calling some terrible plays and having Jefferson in the game anyway, it was Jefferson that lost the game. Alabama won because they changed up their offense from last time and didnt try to run through the LSU d-line the entire game, instead loosened up the defense with a pass game. Huh, thats what LSU did last time. They flip flopped and LSU tried to just run. Jefferson is a red zone line qb. He shouldnt have been in the game until they reached the 30-20 yard line. Les Miles seems to choke during the most important games as a coach.



  46. JackBluto
    11:19 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    My high school’s QB ran the option better than Jefferson, and we were 7-4 and were crushed by Newport Catholic on their way to another state title (with first or second Mr. Ky Football – Frank Jacobs). You can’t just tell an athlete to run the option. It is a skill just like throwing the ball. He ran to the sidelines, never turned the corner to force the DE to play him, and the play just stretched out horizontally. Couch was a great college QB but he sucked running the option for Curry as a freshman. He wasn’t an option QB. No different last night.

    Does anyone believe Miles is a great game coach? He has a ton of talent, but his offense is bland and usually scores b/c of athletes and great field position with his incredible D. He has won more close games on dumb luck (throwing a last second TD on fourth down b/c he didn’t even know it was fourth down and could have kicked the game tying FG; UT’s 13 players; Alabama FG kicker going 2-6 in regular season game; there are other examples) than coaching. I think Miles has a deal with Satan. Problem is, he was coaching against Satan, I mean Saban, this time, and it mattered.



  47. Blueballston
    11:31 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    When does the narwhal bacon?



  48. bluebiscuit
    11:39 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Good nickname from the past — William “Refrigerator” Perry.



  49. kentuckyjoe
    11:39 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I’m with you 100%. I only heard it once or twice before I quit listening to, and watching, the whole thing. Gag me with a spoon.



  50. Carl
    11:39 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Sorry #17 my memory is bad and I didn’t feel like googling it. It was the 1985 Bears that won the super bowl and this is the most complete defense I’ve seen since. No weaknesses, big, physical, fast and smart. Guys that will be playing on Sunday. They only had 9 TDs scored against them all season….IN THE SEC. There was a reason Jefferson was flustered the entire game and it took 35 minutes of play for LSU to cross the 50 yard line.



  51. Chuck Norris
    11:52 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    The defensive coordinator John Chavis gave Mathieu…sorry, I just wanted to hop on the correcting corrections train…



  52. NBA league pass
    11:59 am January 10, 2012 Permalink

    The honey badger nickname sucks. But I’d take that 100x over “browdown”. Just think for a second how freaking stupid that nickname sounds. Not to mention probably at least somewhat offensive to the player, who is on our team.



  53. StepBrothers
    12:04 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    #45…win



  54. Eloy
    12:08 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    F. Scott Fitzgerald didn’t play professional football. He was a screenwriter or something.



  55. Wildcat
    12:14 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    First of all, as UK fans, how are we to make fun of the Honey Badger for his nickname when we have someone called Jorts? Same concept, fans like to be silly sometimes and nicknames are fun. Secondly, McCarron deserved his offensive MVP award. Yes, Shelley kicked (and actually made this time) 5 field goals. But with a game with two great defensive teams, it came down who would gain the most offensive yards. And this was the first game McCarron really stepped up as a QB and he played his game. Poorly written article. Do you even watch college football on a regular basis? C’mon!



  56. WeDontNeedNoStinkingBadgers
    12:22 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    After hearing “Honey Badger” all week, I now know how the athiests feel hearing “Tebow”. If I had to hear Mussberger slobber over Honey Badger one more time, I was going to pull out my eyebrows….



  57. UK in MO
    12:44 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I’m a fan on this writing style and updates.

    For those who are complaining about the rant on “Honey Badger…” for the love of Jorts, calm down. His post has plenty of merit, because Musberger had to have been getting paid for each mention. It was constant.

    And, as for the MVP comment, while I cannot speak on behalf of what might be the most coherent piece of writing I’ve seen on KSR in quite some time (which, although a compliment, it appears the competition is not up there right now), I would assume there was a bit of tongue-in-cheek in the entire debacle suggesting that the kicker be given the award.

    I, for one, am a fan Corey. Continue to write, and I’ll continue to read.

    I’ll also continue to look over the comments to each of your posts, and notice the same people who whine and complain about your writing style misspelled simple words and have the grammar capabilities of a small child.



  58. Hock
    1:01 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I can think of a lot of things that really bother me. Honey Badger is not one b/c Honey Badger doesn’t give a $hit



  59. Chris
    1:02 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    We aren’t (or at least I’m not) hating on the piece for a lack of quality, I’m hating on the piece because it’s a misinformed rant about something the writer didn’t take three seconds to google before he started writing. There were several ESPN articles up at different times in the season about the Honey Badger and his name, and a quick google search could have saved him from sounding like an idiot. I can understand giving a writer slack because he’s new, but this post is blatantly incorrect and it shows how much effort he actually put in. See comment #7 for truth.



  60. CJ
    1:07 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Why so serious?
    Loud noises!!!



  61. Jonathan
    1:08 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Anthony Davis should be called the Praying Mantis. Long arms, big eyes, unibrow…it’s perfect. Look at the way he holds his arms when he runs down the court.



  62. Yroc53
    1:16 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Im not a detriot fan but Megatron is the best nickname. Point blank PERIOD!



  63. Blueneck
    1:26 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Why would this writer stupidly assume Honey Badger gave himself that name? Would anyone name themselves that? How do we know Dr J didn’t start his own nickname?



  64. BG KY Dave
    1:56 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    68. The Praying Mantis is so funny. Awww a good laugh is priceless. To many negative nelly’s on here. Sorry Matt for busting on you for the ‘Awesome’ use of the word. Postive comments from now on….



  65. TheNewOriginal
    3:08 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    This guy is very good. Finally, a real post with some substance. Probably over several peoples’ heads though



  66. TheNewOriginal
    3:09 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    I was neutral at the start of the game. After hearing Honey Badger the 52nd time, I was hoping LSU would never win another game.



  67. FinnishStrongSays
    3:25 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    D-UMB would have worked better there at the end. Just saying.



  68. Roll Tide
    4:12 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Honey Badger played like he didn’t care!
    I expected LSU to break out after halftime, but the only person more confused than Jordan Jefferson was Les Miles. What was wrong with those two guys?



  69. That Guy
    6:11 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Technically speaking, Chad Ochocinco translates to Chad Eight Five. If he wanted Chad Eighty-five, he would have to change it to Chad Ochenta y Cinco.
    Just sayin.



  70. midnight imp
    9:21 pm January 10, 2012 Permalink

    Doron Lamb’s nickname should be Buckwheat