If you know the British (and I know you do), you know they have a keen wit and remarkably bad teeth. The former of these traits is extremely admirable and is shown by one of their own’s creation of two of the ten best television comedies of all time (both versions of “The Office”). So leave it to the Brits to come up with the list of the 50 Greatest Sports Insults of All Time. Because it is the British, most involve soccer and cricket, but here are a few that stuck out to me……
42 “[American] Football combines the two worst features of American life: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.”
George Will, the American journalist, sums up their national game.
40 “Mr Agnew, I believe you have a slight swing in your flaw.”
Jimmy Demaret, the American golfer who won the Masters three times, to his playing partner, the American vice-president Spiro T. Agnew
38. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.”
A backhanded compliment, rather than an insult, from Muhammad Ali to a young boxer
36: “My wife just had a baby.” “Congratulations! Whose baby is it?”
Joe Frazier stuns his boxing rival Ken Norton.
27 “Lie down so I can recognise you.”
Willie Pep, the American featherweight boxer, when asked by an old opponent if he recognised him.
25 “Eighty per cent of the top 100 women are fat pigs who don’t deserve equal pay.”
Richard Krajicek, the 1996 Wimbledon champion, on why there should not be equal pay. Later, he clarified his comments, saying, “What I meant to say was that only 75 per cent are fat pigs.” Charming
22 “What problems do you have, apart from being unemployed, a moron and a dork?”
John McEnroe calls it how he sees it to a tennis spectator
18 “Only if there’s an outbreak of bubonic plague.”
Giovanni Trapattoni gives a blunt answer when asked if he will select Paolo Di Canio for his Italy World Cup squad in 2004.
7 “He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts.”
Blackie Sherrod, the American columnist, on a heavyweight boxing contender
2 “Why are you so fat?” “Because every time I f*** your wife she gives me a biscuit.”
Exchange between Glenn McGrath, the Australia bowler, and Eddo Brandes, the large Zimbabwean cricketer.