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Giddy Wizards employee breaks least surprising news ever


Along the lines of great cliffhangers like ‘What will happen to the ship at the end of Titanic?,’ ‘Who is the Blue Blazer?,’ and ‘Will Karen Sypher look more ghoulish each time I see a new picture of her?,’ comes the Wizards drafting of John Wall with the #1 pick. Seemingly everyone has resigned themselves to the fact that Wall will be making himself at home in the nation’s capital and beginning his duties as National Intelligence Director franchise savior in the fall. Everyone, apparently, including the Wizards.

One Wiz employee, all hopped up on that Blue Jesus fever, even went so far as to post the following on his Facebook page:

“I am a sales rep for the Washington Wizards. John Wall will be our choice as the (No. 1) overall pick in the June draft. If you want a great deal on tickets … e-mail me.”

One can’t really blame the employee, who we’ll call Myron Goodman – because that’s his real name – for trying to use his position to scoop everyone and up his sales numbers. Understandably, though, the franchise wasn’t too pleased with his exploits, dismissing them and labeling him ‘an overzealous member of our sales staff acting on his own,’ which I’m sure couldn’t be further from the truth. You know who’s overzealous about the first pick? Evan Turner. Dude…pack for Philly. Ain’t gonna happen.

So now you can rest a little easier in knowing that John Wall can rest a little easier in knowing that the Wizards can rest a little easier in knowing that John Wall is resting easy because John Wall is on the way. Or something. Either way, he’ll be the first pick in the draft, because Myron Goodman said so. Now, enjoy your Friday night.

Go Cats.

[Original article]

Article written by Hunter Campbell

I used to write here.