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Get to know even more about Billy Gillispie

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In an effort to keep you, the loyal reader, informed about all transpirings and goings on in the world of Kentucky basketball, we have decided to provide you with a little more of the “human side” of Mr. Coach Clyde. Statistics and years of tenure in places like El Paso and College Station are important to be sure, but we feel that it benefits everyone to learn more about the inner workings of the man who now inhabits a position of authority higher than that of even the governor of our great Commonwealth. And now, 25 Facts about Billy Gillispie:

1. Regarded in panda-breeding circles as one of the very best.
2. Founded Monrovia, capital of Liberia in 1867.
3. Congenital temporal lobe deformity only allows him to retain his address, his family’s names, and basketball knowledge in his long-term memory.
4. Loves pickled bologna.
5. Refuses to own a pair of gloves.
6. Claims he directed 6 episodes of “Taxi” and that Marilu Henner is a “joy to work with”.
7. Was WBC light heavyweight champion for four months in 1984.
8. Inherited small fortune by spending entire night in a haunted manor.
9. Lists favorite song as “Missing you like Candy” by Mandy Moore.
10. Thinks the Israelis and Palestinians should settle things “on the hardwood”. Tom Leach would exchange “Whitaker Bank Shots” for “West Bank Shots”.
11. Maintains that Matt Damon looks “approachable”.
12. Received “Most Photogenic” at last year’s Mountain Laurel Festival.
13. Despite his love of mining, has never been to Madagascar.
14. Manages his fear of flying by drinking one V8 a day.
15. Thinks Gore Vidal is a “snot-nosed punk”.
16. Has never lost a game of RBI Baseball (only uses the Astros).
17. Celebrates Bastille Day.
18. Sees no reason to own a toaster.
19. Discovered cure for polio years before Jonas Salk; told no one.
20. Thinks “Smokey and the Bandit III” is a “cinematic achievement”.
21. Votes for Sanjaya.
22. Claims that Kentucky already has a sufficient amount of cowbell.
23. Has scientific evidence proving the existence of Bigfoot.
24. Lists occupation not as “Basketball Coach” but as “Captain of Industry”.
25. Finds the work of James Joyce to be “wandering and self-indulgent”.

Article written by Mosley