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Game Faces – Tennessee Volunteers

Well, Chandler Parsons definitely did not play like Blanche Devereaux on Saturday night. Today is a new day, however, and a new opponent is in town. The Tennessee Volunteers may not have Gary Goleman, but Melvin Goins is going to give it his best try.


I’m Trae Golden. You might see me all orange, all white. Everyday, everyday. I ain’t gon’ lie, but I’m Trae Golden. I am… I’ma ballplayer. I was born to be a ballplayer. That’s why I’ve been doin’ like athletic. I’m…am…ain’t gon’ lie. Hit me up. I’m 20, next year I’ma be…wait, what…yeah, yup. REMIX!


Scotty Hopson, despite being Kentucky-bred, looks like he could be from NYC/Hollywood. Accordingly, his soft approach to the game belongs in Beverly Hills. Which guy does he look like? Kid or play, you decide. I suggest Scotty add the orange highlights to the top. Brucie approves.


Tyler Summit’s match was pretty obvious. Check out their matching smiles and scowls. Now, if momma could just teach her little cub some man skills, then he might make something of himself. Alas, we all know which of these two is packing more heat, if you catch my drift. And, yes, Tyler is wearing a Lady Vols jersey, AA cup.


Cam Tatum, as this picture shows, recently signed up for Teddy Dupay’s S’BOALNATION and is currently enjoying the benefits. We know things are bad when our rivals are teaming up against us. Hopefully, Cam promotes the revolt against the prohibition of cannibus for his pre-game tonight. Pimp down!


Skylar McBee loves YouTube, so I hear. But, I beg of you, Skylar: please, never make a video of your whiny, excruciatingly obnoxious voice like Fredd Figglehorn. I’m tempted to link Fred here, but he does not deserve the hits and our reader’s heads might pop off, thus causing them to miss the game. Keep shooting, Skylar. I have a feeling your dad looks like this, though.


Tobias Harris and Brian Williams look pretty similar, except that you would have to feed Tobias about six to eight meals per day to get him up to Williams’ size. These two could factor very heavily into tonight’s game. On one hand, Harris is not yet 100% recovered from his injury. On the other hand, he could be matched up against Eloy at some point.


What do Steven Pearl and Brian Scalabrine have in common? They are both white and should never play in the NBA. One got lucky, and the other got Bruce Pearl for a dad.

Go Cats! Here’s to seeing us turn the corner, or at least getting a win.

Article written by Chris Thomas

14 Comments for Game Faces – Tennessee Volunteers

  1. ThatGuy
    7:24 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Skylar McBee… forever alone in the stands.

  2. Matt Jones
    7:25 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Another nice job Christopher

  3. Stew M.
    7:28 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Great Post Chris. Skylar McBee to Fredd Figglehorn is priceless. Keep it up.

  4. Stomped by Lamb
    7:56 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    “One got lucky, and the other got Bruce Pearl for a dad”. Hahaha

  5. GoCats2010
    7:58 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    not fred, not fred

  6. ASL102
    8:03 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    you are the best writer there ever was/will be for this site.

  7. Tubby's gopher
    8:07 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Stevie Pearl look like a penis with ears.

  8. mooseknuckles
    9:09 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Steve Pearl looks like Vinny from Jersey Shore.

  9. Jason
    9:42 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Brian Williams and Tobias Harris look like Sinbad. I’m surprised no one made that connection.

  10. Joseph Langub
    11:55 pm February 8, 2011 Permalink

    Does anyone else think that Tobias Harris looks like the baby dinosaur from that show “Dinosaurs” way back in the day?

  11. Joe Joe 08
    12:42 am February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Wow, this Chris Thomas dude just murdered UT. 50 Tyson Trae Golden comparison was too much! #spitscokeoncpumonitor

  12. wildwood rider
    12:45 am February 9, 2011 Permalink


  13. Kyle Mann
    7:25 am February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Not to nitpick, but Scalabrine is a 6’9″ guy that can really shoot and give some decent relief minutes. He’s better than Scott Padgett was, in the NBA at least. I think he gets singled out because of his name and how ridiculous he looks, but he’s a decent player, if you consider what his niche is.

  14. GummyBear
    8:48 am February 9, 2011 Permalink

    You really missed on the Brian Williams – Forrest Whitaker from Fast Times at Ridgemont High connection. Dead ringers, I say.