Game Faces: Maryland Terrapins Edition

So yeah, Game Faces already skipped Transy. But that’s just because we did them last year and it just didn’t feel right. The Blue Mist is upon NYC already, and Drew Franklin has almost nearly drained Jack Demsey’s supply of Makers Mark. The newly reinstated Dez Wells and Maryland square off with our Cats tomorrow at the Barclay’s Center. Let’s check in on those Terrapins…

Throw some specs on Nick Faust and his creepy smile, teeth placement, and mustache that needs lined up, and he resembles Mike Tyson getting really awkward in that gif. Faust is pretty good, so we’ll see if he can deliver a knock out punch (buh-dum-chh) against the Cats.

Not really sure who this cat is, but Jake Layman seems like he is only a few bottles of Tennessee whiskey (ew) and a couple methamphetamine pills away from becoming Kid Rock.  Apparently, Layman prefers to only ‘go crazy’ on the court. Uh huh, I’m sure…

Did you know that Krayzie Bone and Wish Bone of Bone Thugs in Harmony recently played a tiny bar in Louisville? Strange world we live in these days. In other news, Layzie Bone lookalike and Maryland player Seth Allen will try to make an impact as a true freshman tomorrow.

You guys know that band from Cincinnati called The National? Well, lead singer Matt Berninger probably does not appreciate us comparing him to Maryland’s Evan Smotrycz. Hailing from the hippest part of Brooklyn currently, The National thinks all sportball-players are lamestreamers.

Shaquille Clear is a big ol’ boy at 270 pounds. However, his haircut and facial-structure sharing NFL-er Ndamukong Suh would scoff at this Shaq’s tiny size. Get your weight up, kid.

This may be the only time I can type the phrase ‘tight butthole’ into my browser and not have to immediately erase my browsing history afterwards. Workaholics Ders could suit up for the Terps tomorrow instead of Spencer Barks and we may not even notice.