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Game Faces: Maryland Terrapins Edition

So yeah, Game Faces already skipped Transy. But that’s just because we did them last year and it just didn’t feel right. The Blue Mist is upon NYC already, and Drew Franklin has almost nearly drained Jack Demsey’s supply of Makers Mark. The newly reinstated Dez Wells and Maryland square off with our Cats tomorrow at the Barclay’s Center. Let’s check in on those Terrapins…

Throw some specs on Nick Faust and his creepy smile, teeth placement, and mustache that needs lined up, and he resembles Mike Tyson getting really awkward in that gif. Faust is pretty good, so we’ll see if he can deliver a knock out punch (buh-dum-chh) against the Cats.

Not really sure who this cat is, but Jake Layman seems like he is only a few bottles of Tennessee whiskey (ew) and a couple methamphetamine pills away from becoming Kid Rock.  Apparently, Layman prefers to only ‘go crazy’ on the court. Uh huh, I’m sure…

Did you know that Krayzie Bone and Wish Bone of Bone Thugs in Harmony recently played a tiny bar in Louisville? Strange world we live in these days. In other news, Layzie Bone lookalike and Maryland player Seth Allen will try to make an impact as a true freshman tomorrow.

You guys know that band from Cincinnati called The National? Well, lead singer Matt Berninger probably does not appreciate us comparing him to Maryland’s Evan Smotrycz. Hailing from the hippest part of Brooklyn currently, The National thinks all sportball-players are lamestreamers.

Shaquille Clear is a big ol’ boy at 270 pounds. However, his haircut and facial-structure sharing NFL-er Ndamukong Suh would scoff at this Shaq’s tiny size. Get your weight up, kid.

This may be the only time I can type the phrase ‘tight butthole’ into my browser and not have to immediately erase my browsing history afterwards. Workaholics Ders could suit up for the Terps tomorrow instead of Spencer Barks and we may not even notice.

Article written by Chris Thomas

18 Comments for Game Faces: Maryland Terrapins Edition

  1. John
    4:03 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    No one cares. We want #Petrino2UK news..

  2. Joe Clements
    4:05 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Chris, Jake Layman looks like your brother.

  3. Topical Pseudonym
    4:06 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    **Wonders how many readers know anything about Bone Thugs N Harmony…

  4. Destiny fulfilled
    4:07 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Yes I echo what #1 said… You’ve started a fire.. The only thing that will put it out is more Petrino
    Or even better.. News of his hire at UK

  5. Funny
    4:08 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    How this site always try to make fun of everyone if they arent UK related.

  6. Randy Marsh
    4:12 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Chris Thomas – love the National shoutout. They are so good

  7. Please Understand
    4:35 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Yes, it is funny #5. That is what most of us love about this site.

  8. Bicycle Seat Sniffer
    4:39 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Hahaha tight butthole. Nice. Bonus points if you can fit Adam, Blake, and Wayman lookalikes into Game Faces posts sometime this season.

  9. Worst attempt at humor
    4:45 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Obviously mailed the afternoon post in from Jack Dempsey’s.

  10. MustacheMan
    4:50 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Can Evan Smoltryczsacz play tomorrow? He is a transfer from Michigan, doesn’t he have to sit out a year?

  11. ktmiln2
    4:53 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    #5- No shit, Sherlock.

  12. D A's smile
    5:33 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Dude looks nothing like “IRON” Mike Tyson. FAIL

  13. UrNotFunny
    5:36 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Because mocking teams we play on Hate Day has worked SO well this year….

  14. Scotty Sharp
    5:39 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    10) You’re correct, Smotrycz is sitting out this year.

  15. SB
    6:26 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    The National are a great band and Reds fans to boot.

  16. #16
    6:28 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Ditto Chris and #15. “Bloodbuzz Ohio” is my jams.

  17. Chi-TownCat
    7:22 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Meet me at the crossroads #3

  18. FlySociety
    2:28 pm November 9, 2012 Permalink

    I would lean more towards Sugar Shane rather than Mike Tyson for Faust. No amount of similarity is going to do him any good when he steps in the paint, though.