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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Game Faces: Louisville Cardinals Edition

After a relaxing summer without Kentucky football or basketball games, Game Faces makes its return for the Dirty Birds tonight.  Never has one team been more deserving of an extended edition.  We considered solely using mugshots, but Tom Jurich blocked the jail from releasing the photos.  If we lose today, feel free to blame the bad karma created by this post.  But don’t worry, we won’t.  RISE.

teddylance

If Teddy Bridgewater could hit his receivers with the frequency that Lance Stephenson hits women, then he’d be a scary opponent.  Fortunately for the Cats, and like Lance pushing girls down stairs, Teddy is only good at knocking over his lineman en route to a false start penalty.  #DatLouisvilleLife

steinlep

This guy is slightly better at throwing the ball.  However, Will Stein needs to use the pose of the Leprechaun on the right to see over his O-line.  Another big issue for Will is figuring out how to get the dirt and grass stains out of his green jacket after we pound him into the ground.

vicswamp

What TV genius ok’d the Swamp Thing series?  Wow.  Anyways, Vic Anderson’s hair looks like he just wallowed out of a swampy bayou in Louisiana.  I’m all for dreads, but judging by the look on his face, I don’t they smell too great.

dexmosdef

Look at those puppy dog eyes and big ears?  Randall Cobb says STFU, Dexter.  You got nothing on him.  In other news, expect Dexter Heyman to change his name in 2012 just like Mos Def (to Yasiir) so that people will forget that he was the guy who never beat UK during his career.  He’ll probably choose Hymen considering all the holes we broke through his defense.

No words for these next three…

clarkblack jalenluis smithhagrid stoutloaf

Hunter Stout is a sophomore O-lineman, but his uncanny resemblance to Moatloaf is both majestic and scary.  His name was Robert Paulson…His name was Robert Paulson…

parkeryoung

Devante Parker could have been a great player for UK, and a rising star like Nick Young is in the NBA.  Instead, he spurned us for Louisville and now he is doomed to being relocated to a shitty conference if these dominoes keep falling.

simiendannyt

I almost regret putting these pictures next to each other because its just not fair to the awesomeness of Danny Trevathan.  But, Terence Simien’s two-toned dreads do resemble Danny’s.  The major difference is that Trevathan is good at football and this guy is irrelevant.

***ALUMNI BONUS***

payneaiken1

Ryan Payne is Louisville’s former barefoot kicker.  But really, barefooting, barebacking…what’s the difference?  Don’t worry Ryan, I support your lifestyle.

Go Cats.

#5inarow

Article written by Chris Thomas

11 Comments for Game Faces: Louisville Cardinals Edition



  1. wildcat_marine
    4:12 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Funny pics. Weak commentary.



  2. Roland
    4:46 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    So without doing a google search, can we assume that meatloaf’s real name was “Robert Paulson”. Sounds like a honest Mom with a groupie history and I hope I am wrong.



  3. Carlzwa11
    5:01 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Where is the ville crown royal pic? It has to go up today!!



  4. empireblue
    5:03 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    couldn’t agree more, #1. chris thomas is KSR’s weakest link…and that’s saying something with BTI on board.



  5. SexnNursinHomes
    5:09 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    I wanna smoke that green leprechaun. just cuz he’s green.



  6. da'truth
    5:10 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Where is the pic of Momma Jurich riding the pole at the uofl tailgate party? That’s an instant classic. Only in da’ville.



  7. clancykatt
    5:54 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Totally stupid



  8. Iamjacksfunnybone
    5:55 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Fight Club reference. Awesome! But probably not appreciated here.



  9. Tom Baker
    8:39 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Can I nominate this as the dumbest post ever not made by BTI or MS. Tyler Thompson (we get it, you are a female)? Seriously, “this guy looks like this guy” posts are stupid and below even the level of this site which allows even BTI and MS. Tyler Thompson a voice.



  10. Cardsoneagain
    11:36 pm September 17, 2011 Permalink

    Now that we realize how bad UK sucks, please focus that 4 hours each week that you would have spent watching them and work on your comedy. Seriously d-bag…you make Dane Cook look like Georg Carlin!!!



  11. TheBurghCat
    6:30 pm September 18, 2011 Permalink

    Super post. You have a gift Chris!