The masses have spoken, and they want a Hoosier Game Faces post. What better way to start this off than with a classic comparison. The Cats should be scared today. Tom Crean is an amazing coach who leads NBA-talent-laden teams deep in the tournament year in and year out. “FALSE. Tommy is a goofball coach with a sub-par career record of 226-162 who got lucky with Dwyane Wade.” – Dwight Schrute
Every Hoosier’s favorite little brother, Cody Zeller, truly looks the part. He’s paler than Brian Scalabrine after living in Alaska for 6 months. One block from Anthony Davis, and Zeller may have his frail frame in a body cast. Does he truly have red hair like his comparison? Maybe not, but he sure looks like a 12 year old ginger in his team picture.
No IU post is complete without a Hoosiers reference. In college basketball, plenty of teams have a ‘token white guy’. Bloomington likes to switch things up by comprising entire teams out of these little twerps. Jordan Hulls is going to get dunked on, and it’s going to be more embarrassing then Ollie’s hilarious bricked layup. Terrence Jones will be brewing a pot of Earl Grey tea on his forehead.
Indiana’s basketball program has several things in common with Chris Tucker. 1) They put on a lot weight and got out of shape. 2) They’re washed up. Maurice Creek is injured again and I actually feel terrible for this kid. Here’s to hoping his career isn’t completely done and he can make a come back, unlike Chris Tucker.
“Buzz…your tall, goofy back-up center. Woof.” It feels like Tom Pritchard has been at Indiana University since Bob Knight was abusing courtside furniture. Tommy-boy faces off against UK today for what seems like the 10th time, and the Cats will once again show the world what they already knew: Pritchard sucks, and so do the Hoosiers.
Christian Watford resembles Tracy McGrady. Unfortunately for the Cream and Crimson, his talent does not. So there’s that.
I just had to find a way to use this idiotic picture of Will Sheehey. I know he had that amazing dunk last year, but if he tries to get all giddy on us, someone needs to shut him up with a block. #BrowDown
*BONUS* And for the final Hoosiers reference, here’s Dan Dakich starring as a bitter drunk on a downward spiral. R.I.P. Dennis Hopper.