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Game Faces: Indiana Hoosier Edition


The masses have spoken, and they want a Hoosier Game Faces post.  What better way to start this off than with a classic comparison.  The Cats should be scared today.  Tom Crean is an amazing coach who leads NBA-talent-laden teams deep in the tournament year in and year out.  “FALSE.  Tommy is a goofball coach with a sub-par career record of 226-162 who got lucky with Dwyane Wade.” – Dwight Schrute


Every Hoosier’s favorite little brother, Cody Zeller, truly looks the part.  He’s paler than Brian Scalabrine after living in Alaska for 6 months.  One block from Anthony Davis, and Zeller may have his frail frame in a body cast.  Does he truly have red hair like his comparison?  Maybe not, but he sure looks like a 12 year old ginger in his team picture.


No IU post is complete without a Hoosiers reference.  In college basketball, plenty of teams have a ‘token white guy’.  Bloomington likes to switch things up by comprising entire teams out of these little twerps.  Jordan Hulls is going to get dunked on, and it’s going to be more embarrassing then Ollie’s hilarious bricked layup.  Terrence Jones will be brewing a pot of Earl Grey tea on his forehead.


Indiana’s basketball program has several things in common with Chris Tucker.  1) They put on a lot weight and got out of shape.  2) They’re washed up.  Maurice Creek is injured again and I actually feel terrible for this kid.  Here’s to hoping his career isn’t completely done and he can make a come back, unlike Chris Tucker.


“Buzz…your tall, goofy back-up center.  Woof.”  It feels like Tom Pritchard has been at Indiana University since Bob Knight was abusing courtside furniture.  Tommy-boy faces off against UK today for what seems like the 10th time, and the Cats will once again show the world what they already knew:  Pritchard sucks, and so do the Hoosiers.


Christian Watford resembles Tracy McGrady.  Unfortunately for the Cream and Crimson, his talent does not.  So there’s that.


I just had to find a way to use this idiotic picture of Will Sheehey.  I know he had that amazing dunk last year, but if he tries to get all giddy on us, someone needs to shut him up with a block.  #BrowDown


*BONUS*  And for the final Hoosiers reference, here’s Dan Dakich starring as a bitter drunk on a downward spiral.  R.I.P. Dennis Hopper.

Article written by Chris Thomas

25 Comments for Game Faces: Indiana Hoosier Edition

  1. dd
    2:45 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    doesn’t Hulls look like Matt jones

  2. Sexington
    2:45 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    I want this to be a #beatemdown!!!!!

  3. Greg
    2:45 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Does anyone know how I can watch game while I am in Europe? I need an new IP address but have no idea how to do that. HELP!

  4. Its Miller Time
    2:46 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    think we should keep the iu and iu players suck stuuf on the down low at least until around 730

  5. mashburnfan1
    2:47 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Just watched Cincy vs Xavier brawl. Gates from Cincy needs to be thrown off team asap. No excuse and I hate the fact this jerk gets a free ride to college when others, that would make good of the college degree, get nothing. NCAA and Cincy do the right thing. First Gates throws the ball into crowd of players, then he punches Frease, throws at least 3 other punches. He needs to be gone and this is why players get known as thugs. Others need to be suspended as well but Gates should never play again.

  6. catcrawler
    2:47 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    #3 justin tv

  7. Its Miller Time
    2:47 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    damn it i have hoosier-itis i meant to say stuff^^ lol

  8. Bco
    2:49 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    iuck findiana

  9. Kickin' it
    2:50 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Someone from cincy kicked someone on the floor. I would’ve gone for an elbow drop.

  10. Catfan55
    2:51 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Jobody talking about #13 kicking grease in the head at end of Cindy Xavier game.

  11. Me
    2:57 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Watching Army vs Navy… These kids have more honor in their pinky finger than cincinnati’s whole basketball team combined. Good to see a pitino guy leading a crew of thugs… imagine that.

  12. mashburnfan1
    2:58 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    10} I agree I just don’t know the name of #13. There was another guy that did not play running all over trying to hit anyone. Like I said several from both teams should get suspensions but Gates should be gone. No place for that in sports, on the street Gates would be in jail as Frease will probably need stitches. I still don’t understand why it is not considered an assault just because it was on a basketball court, it is not part of the game.

  13. ukfan4 life
    3:02 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    How can throwing a punch not be an assault. If you hit someone on the street you go to jail for assault then why is it not on the court.

  14. ukfan4 life
    3:04 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    sorry 12 you posted yours while i was typing.

  15. Catfan55
    3:15 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Thought the same thing when I saw the rental cops looking on behind the officials. If an arrest was made, maybe it would put an end to that. Go cats beat iu.

  16. Roll Tide
    3:15 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    These white guys look like 9th graders!

  17. afidler
    3:16 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    I love Tom Crean, I hate IU fans.

  18. Kidnut
    3:19 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    The UC/Xavier incident will be felt by all in college bball. I bet officials really start to crack down on trash talking.

  19. IUplaysball??
    3:19 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    I always thought Tom Creen looks just like Tom Arnold. Even up to the point where I watch True Lies and wonder why Creen isn’t out recruiting nonathletic white boys.

  20. ???
    3:36 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Cream geton top

  21. Score The Ball
    3:43 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    The Dakich comparison to Dennis Hopper’s character is pretty accurate except for one detail. Hopper’s character was more rational.

  22. Me
    3:44 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Sullinger not playing again today. Maybe his agent told him not to play in the big games so he doesn’t continue to get exposed like he did against UK / Jorts…

  23. guest
    3:47 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Fighting as a participant in an athletic event does not subject one to normal criminal culpability as opposed to a “street” fight would because of public policy reasons. It’s the same reasoning that won’t send a parent to jail for child abuse when they spank a child.

  24. CATS
    4:54 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Always thought Crean looked kinda like Tom Arnold.

  25. DTuck
    5:01 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Sullinger must be secretly suspended. He looks fine jumping up on the bench during this game.