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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Game Faces: Duke Blue Devils Edition

The night has come — the Cats have their hands full with Duke tonight, and no Ryan Harrow to help carry the load. Will Polson have a chance to shine again and show those Duke whiteboys how it is really done? Are Archie and Poythress about to have breakout scoring nights? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me? Stay tuned to find out. Until then, let’s have a little fun at the expense of the oft-hated Dukies…

When I think super-rich-douchers, I generally think of two families — the Plumees (Marshall and Mason) and the Winklevosses (Winklevi plural?). Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, made popular by getting screwed by Mark Zuckerburg, may be twins, but the Plumless are close enough. Here’s to hoping Jarrod Polson is the Plumlee’s Zuckerburg tonight.

You guys remember Alex Murphy? Not the redshirt Duke guy, but the man who eventually became RoboCop. When the dad from That 70s Show pumped Murphy full of lead, technology turned him into a badass crime fighter. After tonight when UK destroys Murphy on the court, hopefully he comes back as a crime fighter as well because someone needs to keep people like his brother Erik from breaking into cars.

Seth Curry is about one ill-advised soul patch and one missing mustache short of looking like Shaggy. However, considering Shaggy’s popularity in the late 90s and the youth of Curry’s mother, I’ll bet they have one thing in common: they both have slept in the same bed as Sonya Curry. Shaggy reportedly told Dell Curry that, “It wasn’t me!”

There will be no Rudy moments tonight for Todd Zafirovski, but he did earn a scholarship in underdog-like fashion last year. Chances are he will sit on the sidelines with a sly Sam Gamgee-esque smile while eating snacks or something.

Now we know why Ryan Kelly has a pooptooth: he drinks just as much coffee as Dave Grohl! (“Fresh pooooottttsssss!”)

A couple BONUS game faces for those playing along at home:


Article written by Chris Thomas

9 Comments for Game Faces: Duke Blue Devils Edition

  1. BobbyKnightsATaint
    9:08 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Best…. Game…..Faces…..Ever……

  2. Link to the Game?
    9:11 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Anyone have a link to the game? It’s blacked out on ESPN3.

  3. davis4cats
    9:13 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Duke and Notre Dame seemingly manufacture big white “bigs”.

  4. KyKid
    9:18 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    It’s bad enough that we are going to have to see that repulsive Laettner shot 1,643 times tonight, but having to stomach Bobby Knight and Digger Phelps on top of it is almost too much. I just threw up in my mouth.

  5. Isaac in Long Beach
    9:19 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Louisville fans are vile. My Facebook feed is full of new Duke fans tonight. They just can’t ever keep their line-bearded mouths shut. As much as I hate Louisville, I’m not gonna openly root against them. Just proves their small mindedness.

  6. BobbyKnightssweater
    9:31 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    I love huggin coach K’s nuts.

  7. Chi-TownCat
    9:32 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    F’ em all Go Cats!!!!

  8. lee
    9:36 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Does anyone have a link – blacked out on espn = desperate….thank you

  9. Lucas
    12:54 pm November 14, 2012 Permalink

    Seth Curry looks like Curious George.