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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Five More Who Wants to Be A Blogger Finalists

funny

They keep coming….this group has a 45 year old man, an underwear salesman and a Snedegar fan. Enjoy…

TYE BURKLOW

Good morning/afternoon/evening whatever it might be as you read this amazing introduction. I won’t bore you with a lot of stupid details about myself because I’m sure you don’t really care. We are all here for one reason….we bleed blue…OR you are one of the other SEC schools’ fans and your school sucks so bad right now because everyone in the country wants to come to UK, that you had to come to KSR to see what real college basketball is like! But we welcome you all the same. My name is Tye Burklow. I am 24 years old from Bowling Green, KY, and I am currently an underwear salesman. I am 1 of the 20 finalists for “I want to be a blogger,” and I won’t lie…when I hear the word “blogger” I picture that guy that sits in his room with his door shut with a bottle of lotion posted up by his computer just in case his parent’s parental controls miss an “interesting” website. Yet again, I am that guy (minus the lotion and parental controls….seriously!), so to say that I am thrilled to be one of the 20 is an understatement! I have bled blue since I was born, and minus a 5 year stint in college at WKU, I have been fully committed to this relationship…..and without Coach Cal’s tweets of inspiration every morning I don’t know where I would be today…..possibly a Cards fan!

GARRETT SPARKS

28, psychiatry resident, O positive, dress left.

Howdy folks. I’m a native Ashlander and 2003 UK grad. I was subsequently exiled to Big Ten country (5 years in Ann Arbor ), and I’m now a resident physician in western Pennsylvania , hiding among the Pitt fans, paying out the ear for the ESPN Full Court package. I tutored a handful of the basketball guys in calculus and chemistry, and Erik Daniels and Keith Bogans nearly ran me over on Euclid in some little white hatchback. I have mutts named Derby and Julep, and my I converted my wife from her evil UT-loving ways prior to our wedding behind Memorial Coliseum. I made my parents paint an entire room purple and teal just because Rex Chapman was drafted by the Hornets (and my bedroom was already blue and white). I got into a fight with a pathology resident in the med school student lounge after Gerald Fitch missed the 3 against UAB, and he wouldn’t quit running his mouth about how Duke was going to win it all that year. And if that doesn’t qualify me to write for KSR, I don’t know what will.

CLIFF BRIGGS

Here you go: Name Cliff Briggs – age 45 – general account for automotive company. I also am an Assistant Coach for Maury Middle School boys basketball team. I have been a life long UK fan trapped in the state of Tennessee. Hope to be able to become part of the KSR family and continue the tradition of writing information for all UK fans across the nation. Want to bring enjoyment in the future unlike one having to watch the sweat hog that resides down the road from me – remember “Best sign in Knoxville – Lexington 164 miles”

ADAM STRATTON

Pharmacist, 26 years old

I’ve been writing since Mom spit me out of the womb in Eastern Kentucky. My few claims to fame include having an article published in the Kentucky Kernel (UK’s newspaper) in 2004, being quoted by Pat Forde from a Cats Pause thread in his ESPN article, and starting a WWF (back when it was called that) website that got 9,000 hits per day at its peak. I used the pseudonym Stratosis for the site, and if I win this contest, I might write under that to make Fake Gimel happy. My UK sporting event prowess ranges everywhere from being on the field after the LSU game in 2007 to being hit in the head with a puck at a hockey game. Twice. Other than that I’ve been working as a pharmacist in Phoenix, Arizona for the past year and still trying to plant bluegrass in the desert.

CHRISTOPHER JOHNS

Hi. I’m Chris. I was born and raised on a tobacco farm in Jessamine County, Kentucky. My family wasn’t super rich and participated in what we liked to call “Completing Our Glassware Set” after UK basketball and football games. This is an activity where the whole family combs the stadium looking for used plastic collector cups for use at home. The Johns family is nothing if not resourceful. I attended UK twice. The first time I was kindly asked to leave by the Administration of The Great U because I did not, in their opinion, fulfill the obligations of a scholarship student. Things like “attending class” and “studying”. In 1995, I was too busy helping Walter McCarty carbo load and running numbers for Antoine Walker to study. Anyway, I went back a year later on my own dime and graduated with a degree in Economics and Management. I later married a Mechanical Engineer (also a UK grad). We are really fun at parties. Between the regression analysis and structural integrity banter, the good times just never stop. I got a job at a local healthcare establishment in the IT department and have been there ever since. I tailgate to every home UK football game and am the proud owner of a Jeff Snedegar #17 jersey that my wife won’t let me wear in public. I don’t think the BCS is evil, I think Chris Berman is, and I believe that instant replay helped UK football more than any single coach or player. If I had one wish it would be that the internet and KSR was around to cover both the Bernadette Locke-Mattox and Eddie Sutton eras. I hope to add some content and insight to KSR so that it stays one of the best sources for UK information and entertainment. Thanks for giving me a shot.

Article written by Matt Jones