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Excerpts from a Louisville Dorm Resident Assistant’s Weekly Newsletter

Welcome freshmen! I trust you’re all settling nicely into the new school year. I’m Steven, the resident assistant (RA) for the fourth floor. I had a great time meeting several of you a few weeks ago during move-in, and enjoyed getting to know many more of you once all of your children went home with their grandparents and I could stop by to say hello with ticky-tack and Scotch tape for your Scarface posters. I think we’re in for a great year! I did, however, want to re-iterate some dorm rules you may remember from your residential handbook (or, for those of you earmarked by administration with limited literacy, your residential audio-handbook on CD/DVD), and give you a few “news and notes.”

-Please clean up the clippings from your beard trimmings instead of leaving them in the sink. Other people may need to trim their beards as well, and no one likes a dirty sink!

-I recently found an oversized baseball cap sporting an Old English “L” in the third floor stairwell. Very flat brim. Tags still attached. If this belongs to you, please stop by my room to claim it.

-We understand that social networking is a popular way to keep in touch with friends, but be mindful that other people might be waiting to take pictures of themselves in the restrooms too. Don’t be a “Mirror Hog!”

-Should you wish to bring female friends to your room for “intimacy,” please be courteous to your roommate. As university precedents have established, note that any closed-door visits exceeding fifteen seconds will be subject to write-up. You’re sharing that room!

-I’ve been informed that someone named “Deezy” should stop by the campus post office during business hours to sign for his case of AXE body spray.

-Remember to show school spirit! No shorts or pants should ever be worn at or above the waist.

-Please guys, it’s early in the semester and I’m already tired of picking up Jeremiah Weed cans. There are recycling stations located on every even-numbered floor.

-Be respectful of others — someone else might want to use that pole, not just YOUR Boo.

-Please take the time to read and learn the designated police evasion routes, posted inside every hallway door.

-This year, our dorm will be participating in the “Sleeves for Schools” program. Please leave any sleeves cut off of t-shirts in the box at the end of the first floor.

-DO NOT use hairbrushes which do not belong to you.

-Whoever keeps spilling shampoo down the wall of the shower needs to be more careful.

-Also, it’s been four weeks and still no one has signed up for the Book Club.

I look forward to a great year with all of you! If you have any questions/concerns, please feel free to stop by at any time. And just to get this out of the way; no, I do NOT have any rolling papers. Have a great semester!

-Steven

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

29 Comments for Excerpts from a Louisville Dorm Resident Assistant’s Weekly Newsletter



  1. uk3k
    11:09 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    haha, this is great.



  2. Minter's Wrinkled Unit
    11:10 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Sublime as always. Well played, Mr. Tomlin.



  3. big blue
    11:13 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    good stuff



  4. awesometron
    11:14 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    That can’t be a UofL student’s dorm room…there are books in that photo.



  5. Ms. Tyler Thompson
    11:16 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Brilliant. Bravo.



  6. CatfaninNKY
    11:20 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Absolutely fantastic! LMAO



  7. Bg Cat
    11:21 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Always Good To Hear From Tomlin. Nice Post.



  8. Kemp's Pawn & Lube
    11:25 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Potentially epic posting. This should be brought out each year before the game.



  9. Dr. Dick Fitzenbutts
    11:28 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Spilling shampoo, ha!



  10. UKfanFelicia
    11:30 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    LOL This was just awesome



  11. Chris
    11:30 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    #4 not to mention awards.



  12. BigBlueBear
    11:34 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    This is some of Tomlin’s best work. Scarface posters!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!



  13. Jimmy Buffett
    11:34 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Be nice now. All media outlets in Louisville are reporting that the UL library burned down today.
    Both books were destroyed; one wasn’t even colored in yet.



  14. Garrett
    11:34 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Since when has anyone related to Louisville won first place?



  15. mocha
    11:34 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    well done.



  16. Jeff
    11:35 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Great stuff Tomlin



  17. ihatetheville
    11:42 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    If you make an L with your right hand, is it still an L?



  18. LineBeard
    11:48 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    I’ve been looking for that hat for a week! Thanks Steve!



  19. guest1
    11:49 am September 15, 2011 Permalink

    #13 that was funny when spurrier said that about auburn.



  20. Jimmy Buffett
    12:09 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    where’s the rest?



  21. loose_deuce
    12:10 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    I’m glad Tomlin is back, keep up the good work my friend.



  22. Dale
    12:10 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    “-I’ve been informed that someone named “Deezy” should stop by the campus post office during business hours to sign for his case of AXE body spray.”

    At UofL, that’s pronounced “Ask” Body Spray



  23. Neck Sweat Stain
    12:27 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    Hey! I like Jeremiah Weed!



  24. terrencejonesrighthand
    12:36 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    This would be funny except, the dorms are empty, they all live in their parents house and commute to school



  25. Jimmy Buffett
    12:43 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    20:
    I know it’s an old joke. I’ve never been on campus at AU, but believe me it really fits the ‘Ville. GBB



  26. UKblue
    12:46 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    “Sleeves for Schools”………..HAHAHAHA!!!



  27. girlwildcatfan
    3:00 pm September 15, 2011 Permalink

    I loved the “mirror hog.” Great Stuff. Go Cats!!!



  28. Arms of Delk Legs of McCarty
    1:46 am September 16, 2011 Permalink

    Shampoo… Hahaha