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Eli’s next set of rules

Eli’s coming…

By now you’ve heard that UK president Eli Capilouto has banned fun alcohol, DJs, and bands in the student tailgating zone, essentially robbing many students of their last reason to go to games. The move, which follows his refusal to cancel classes after UK won the National Title, further puts Capilouto into “Grumpy old man” territory. What’s next, Eli?

— Sundresses must go past the knee (will be subject to inspection)
— Solo cup checks across campus
— No more cornhole (too competitive)
— Students who are dancing must have at least 12″ of space between them
— Campus wide ban on flammable furniture
— Increased pat downs at Gate 1…good luck sneaking that flask in
— Any student who swears during the game or says something derogatory towards the other team must put $1 in the swear jar
— No dancing for 15 minutes after you eat
— Music must be turned down after 8:30 p.m.
— Next week, any student caught drinking in the student tailgate zone will be immediately bused to Keeneland

What else will Eli ban?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

92 Comments for Eli’s next set of rules

  1. Bevo
    1:02 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Hopefully he’ll ban Joker from being at the game…

  2. Ashlandcatfan
    1:03 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    UK-South Carolina is on espn classic right now. Watch them win today so Saturday isn’t such a let down. Plus see Randall Cobb in blue again

  3. cdb
    1:04 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Are we talking about Asbury or UK here? I’m confused

  4. p Fiume
    1:06 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    He’s going to ban sunglass straps, Sperrys, and short khaki shorts. This should keep the frat riff raff from tailgating.

  5. UK Grad
    1:07 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    1) No more disparaging of U of L. We are sister institutions and we must honor and respect the Cardinals and all they bring to the Commonwealth. This type of non-judgmental attitude is what makes UK special; 2)No more talk of Barnhart being incompetent. This makes us look bad and hurt’s Mitch’s feelings; 3 No more excessive celebrations when UK wins national championships. This promotes hooliganism and harms our image as an academic institution, which makes us special.

  6. NKYCatFan
    1:08 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Look at TT B-ball schedule BCG set up. Somebody doesn’t like leaving home.

  7. MadTex
    1:13 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Just because his Mamma wouldn’t let him play as a kid he is now taking it out on the UK students. They can’t paly either and this UK President is a frickin’ idiot!!!

  8. ComeOnMan
    1:15 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Wait. So y’all want basketball to be the premiere program in the whole of the USA, and you want to
    be known as the flagship University of the Commonwealth, but everytime the president does something
    to keep the school classy, you throw a fit? I think what he did was necessary and important.
    Some of you seem to forget that UK is an institution of higher education. If the only reason
    you’re going to football games is to get drunk and act in ways that bring shame to your
    family and your soul, don’t go. The videos I’ve seen in the past week of what’s been going
    on in “that area” of the stadium are embarrassing and disgusting. It needed to stop.
    I commend Mr. Eli for everything he’s done in regards to keeping our school on a steady
    course for remaining a first class place of higher education and a worthy representation
    of the values and goals of the Commonwealth. Amen.

  9. Linda Taylor
    1:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    When I was in 7th grade the school (public) administration had a rule that girls dresses had to be knee length. If there was any question they would grab you, make you get down on your knees, and if your dress didn’t touch the ground you had to go home and change. I think the principal was a Mormon.

  10. KidCody
    1:19 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    #8 – Quality trollin’. Almost had me.

  11. scratch
    1:21 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    no pushups (head nods) after scores

  12. theSkinny81
    1:22 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    only Sarcastaball shall be played from now on.

  13. Slappy
    1:22 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Agree with #8, to an extent. Nothing wrong with getting drunk and going to a game, but when you start fights and are incapable of controlling yourself, somebody has to take action. The students act like this ban was the result of an isolated incident, but let’s not forget how you idiots behaved after the UL Final 4 game. You’ve made your bed, now you have to sleep in it.

  14. hawkeyetim
    1:23 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    UT President is banning vodka enemas. What is the world coming to?

  15. Common Sense
    1:24 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    A large fight took place in the Student Tailgate Area, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? Capilouto had to do something.

  16. Ridge Runner
    1:24 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Ms T.. May I have the first ball room dance? Ya know it’s the biggest event of the year?

  17. theSkinny81
    1:25 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    13 – unlike Louisville fans, who turned out the lights and went to bed, sad.

  18. student
    1:26 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    As a student, I agree with #8 completely. Keep the drunken delinquency to the frat houses and Commonwealth to the people who actually care about the game.

  19. Devastation INC
    1:26 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Simple. Dont go to the game.

  20. Dark Helmet
    1:27 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    All Drizzy, Lil Wayne, and Durrough music files must be destroyed and replaced with Lee Greenwood, The Monkeys, and The Beach Boys.

  21. Ridge Runner
    1:29 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    20..I hear ya but we gotta go back further. Kids got high during that span. I’m thinking mozart, beetoven (spell ck), etc.. Days of yesteryear when ball room dancing ruled the night.

  22. Dark Helmet
    1:29 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    All UK work during games have to be Mock turtle necks and button-up short sleeve shirts with pockets on them – pants must be worn and they have to be Dockers.

  23. Dark Helmet
    1:30 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    shirts not work sorry

  24. Buckets
    1:32 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I hope not one student shows up to the game in protest of this garbage.

  25. Ridge Runner
    1:33 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Once scheduled later this year, I have the first dance at the ball with Ms T and after her husband takes over from there…I’ll do a solo charleston near the punch bowl. Gosh, its exciting.

  26. SayWhat
    1:34 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    KSR is essentially responsible for the outbreak and popularity of the YouTube video of the Western fight in the bowl. Without that blowing up, I doubt Capilouto would’ve felt so strongly about doing something, especially “banning” alcohol. Great job KSR, great job Matt Jones. We’re tailgating anyways. I’ll come to you with my PI citation.

  27. Testing
    1:35 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Is this thing working?

  28. Dark Helmet
    1:35 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Everyone must report to the alumni tent and shake hands with all the guys in the mock turtle necks. Box lunches and water will be provided.

  29. Haha
    1:37 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I love all the whiners blaming KSR. If it’s KSR’s fault, thank you KSR!

  30. Dark Helmet
    1:37 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    To make up for not drinking and no cornhole the UK football team will sponsor a super fun scavenger hunt that’s school spirit themed..Yay! For those who don’t like scavenger hunts we’ll have a whole bunch of rocking chairs and checker boards out so you can wait patiently for the game to start.

  31. JerryTipton
    1:37 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I hope he doesn’t ban awesome mustaches.

  32. UKalumnus
    1:39 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I think we are losing sight of the fact that UK is a university — education being the sole reason for this university, not athletics. Didn’t cancel class after UK’s national championship, big deal. As a student you are supposed to go to class. Banning alcohol from the student tailgating area where recently a horrible fight broke out, who cares. He is doing what he thinks is best to protect the academic image of the university and I support him. Would attending a football game without booze be less fun? Sure, but in response to the fight I don’t blame him for altering the student tailgating policy.

  33. GrowUpPeople
    1:40 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    #8..Well said, many of the videos I’ve seen this past week remind me of the movie Animal House. Even at a football game you’re still in a public place and the laws of society should still apply. (i.e No “open containers” and “public intoxication”).

  34. #FireJoker
    1:42 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I blame the fight on Joker phillips, if he would of won a game that we had no business losing than the fight would not of happened and Mr. over reaction( Eli) would not make all these crazy rules,

  35. UKalumnus
    1:43 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    But then again, maybe I’m just an uppity, grumpy alumnus who happens to think the President of the University should actually take an active role in leadership among the campus community and care for the well being of the students…guess I should simply support becoming black out drunk for all things UK related while wearing my “Fire Joker” t-shirt.

  36. CommentSection
    1:46 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    This is what happens when you start putting WiFi in retirement homes.

  37. Chris Wilson
    1:46 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I have went to my last UK football game, they suck so bad U have to get drunk 2 watch them!

  38. Smart guy
    1:46 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    He is a cry baby pacifist. I bet I know who he is voting for in November

  39. tvillian
    1:48 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    18. you cant honestly say you care about the games

  40. tvillian
    1:49 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    and im sure youve only been laid by Palmela Handerson

  41. Mr. Mackey
    1:52 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    alcohol is bad. . . mkay.

  42. Linda Taylor
    1:56 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    21 – Mozart & Beethoven weren’t really known for writing “ballroom” dances They generally wrote minuets, German dances, Landler (two dots go over the a but I don’t know how to make my computer do that), and Contredanse. Beethoven only had a few of his hundreds of compositions be waltzes which are what we would consider “ballroom” and in his era the waltz was considered scandalous because the couple held each other so closely.

  43. student
    2:01 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    39) I honestly can.

  44. KYTurtle
    2:02 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I think the student should protest. Burn some couches, that will show em how responsible everyone is.

  45. GD
    2:03 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    How is being bused to Keeneland a bad thing?

  46. lexslamman
    2:06 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    38. Cry babies? That sounds like a clear GOP vote. Winners vote blue, just ask Calipari.

  47. Greg
    2:14 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    #4 that is hilarious!!!

  48. Your Grampa always
    2:15 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Boy I told you not to be mess’n round with them frat boys! they’ll just get liquor’d up and fight cuz they think theys cool.

  49. GeauxTigers
    2:15 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I’m a student at LSU and while I don’t claim to know what the UK tailgate experience is like, I think I would cry if this happened to us. Also, I can’t imagine that Lexington gets as out of control as Baton rouge on gameday, so I can’t imagine how this was warranted.

  50. 12Toes
    2:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Ok guys. Since the off campus accident a few years ago, which involved the death of a student and a UK football player behind the wheel, UK has been an alcahol free campus (Except, of course, for University of Kentucky Hilary J. Boone Center. Can’t let big wig visitors assume the University has a stick up it’s ass).

    Of course, the ban is not enforced at football games (regardless if ur 18 or 81) because of the tailgaiting culture and the huge amount of money it representes to the University.

    Not really an alcohol free campus if it’s never enforced, is it? The “don’t ask, don’t tell” unwritten enforcement standard has always struck me as utter bs.

    No way in hell will this policy be enforced in the parking lot. Yeah, some students showed their ass and got in a fight. Anyone with season tix ever seen a drunk (and many times, the same drunk at every home game) fellow ticket holder show his/her ass at every game? So have I.

    The “brave” Capilouto stance may make the ignorant and blind feel comforted, but my money is that it’s a continuation of the dog and pony show of enforcement that myself and every other person that attends the games has witnessed. Too much money would be lost to strict enforcement, and the board has neither the balls or integrity to enforce their own policy.

    Classy guys, real classy.

    ps. I’m 44, and drink. I think UK should modify their booze policy to reflect the Universitie’s comitment to enforcement. You know, like “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t break any of our stuff”.

  51. Your Grampa always
    2:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    The greek systems is for losers anyway, just go to the parties and take the women.

  52. Your Grampa always
    2:18 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Listen to Me! Listen to Me! You greeks always screw it up for the rest of the student body everytime.

  53. Slobbering Drunk
    2:22 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    This little hissy fit you all are pitching is stupid. The ban is only in the student tailgate area. Most students are not of legal drinking age anyway. If you want to drink and make a fool of yourself, go to the other tailgate areas.

  54. Tonyselksarms
    2:25 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Heidionsm would have to break out to get me to go to a uk football game

  55. Cody
    2:29 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    He’s gonna start taking away birthdays next.

  56. Clam
    2:30 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Meanwhile, WKU sells beer inside the stadium during football games (and fraternity tents drink in full view of the president’s tent a few yards away). WKU wins again!

  57. Jeff Garlin
    2:31 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Ditch Eli!

  58. oops
    2:33 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Ya just know this dude has things in his closet he doesn’t want the world to know about. Creepy looking dude!

  59. Calipari is pissed
    2:37 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    somewhere Calipari is pissed off. Now what is James Young going to do on his visit. Seeing all the little drunk girls running around is such a selling point. Kid has never seen anything like it, and now won’t. Screw the Pres.

  60. The Hoff
    2:38 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink


  61. obama campaign
    2:39 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Thank you good doctor! This is a truely great day for the citizens of the state of Kentucky.

    Oh, and thanks for your donation to the campaign.

  62. Drew the problem
    2:40 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    E mail your UK president, Eli Capiluto and tell him how you feel and have all of your UK friends do the same.
    Send to: [email protected]

  63. joker
    2:42 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    What do you mean “no alcohol?”

    Oh he wasn’t talking about me? Thank the lord. Cause yall know I like to get my drunk on before games! Bottoms up!

  64. Bob Loblaw
    2:44 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    For all of you mentioning WKU–

    They did something similar to this with Greeks and no longer let them tailgate at the traditional spot, no speakers, etc. For two years almost NO ONE went to the games or really tailgated. Attendance was miserable, and probably cost WKU a bowl game last year. They have created a spot for students to get drunk and have fun, and with a winning team, attendance is up. But these types of bans never work, and only hurt your program.

  65. TAXman
    2:51 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    don’t drink, don’t care. plus i live in richmond virginia so i get to watch the debacle that is UK football from the comfort of my own home.

  66. TAXman
    2:53 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    64. So you’re saying let the students get wasted and then the football team will get to a bowl game? Brilliant.

  67. Rockfield, KY
    3:03 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    56. I’m a WKU grad and fraternity alum, but I’m a UK fan first and you are dead on with this. WKU’s homecoming tailgate is way better than any single UK tailgate I’ve ever been to or seen. Parents’ Day too. The only problem is that they don’t let them do it every week.

  68. Policy
    3:06 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    What’s next Eli?:

    * Only 16 oz soft drinks
    * Only low flow commodes
    * Only 800 calorie school lunches
    * Only squiggly light bulbs

    Surely not in America, Eli!!!

  69. Tailgate Vet
    3:12 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    It’s amusing to me how you all (KSR) are seemingly upset over this happening, when in fact, you are largely responsible for this action being taken. If it weren’t for Drew Franklin being such a mental midget and exposing all of BBN to the video, there is a good chance that Capilouto would have disregarded the issue. There were numerous comments asking KSR to take down the video, but all were ignored since I’m sure traffic on the site increased considerably. I am not saying KSR is completely responsible for all of this, but you all did douse the flames with gasoline. Just when we thought UK football couldn’t get worse, Drew Franklin and the rest of the KSR team helped us see that it could.

  70. J Jones
    3:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    The sad thing is this seems to be happening all across the country. Our rights are slowly being taken away from us. Reelect no one and I mean no one. That is the only way you are going to cut there power is to make them think they are going to get tossed out of office. The longer they can stay in the more power they will have.

  71. thenamerobdigity
    3:16 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    66 I believe he is saying that the financial impacts will directly effect the UK football program. Without the fun (which has been going on for decades without major issues) the attendance, especially from the students (the loudest part of the stadium) will drop worse than it already has.

  72. UKstudent2011
    3:41 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Eli Capilouto is ignorant in his reasoning on this decision. Students will likely not go to the game to spite Capilouto. Eli could potentially cost the university thousands of dollars with pissed off students not going. One isolated incident shouldn’t get the whole student body punished. This isn’t high school or Asbury. Capilouto has become the students’ public enemy #1 with this and the national championship debacle. Not a good place to be.

  73. UKseniorCT
    4:09 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Thank you to KSR for publicizing the video for University Officials to see. All of us students really appreciate that. Stick to covering the sports.

  74. Who Cares
    4:20 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Who cares? Didn’t know UK had a football team to begin with.

  75. Uh
    4:22 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Just like society protects the mentally handicap from themselves so to must real adults protect Greeks in colleges
    They’d probably eat their own turds if not

  76. Alcohol free campus
    4:34 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Is it such a bad thing that Eli is upholding a policy already in effect? UK afterall is an alcohol free campus and has been one. The policy states “Alcoholic beverages are not permitted in classrooms‚ laboratories‚ offices‚ other buildings where the public has access‚ and all outdoor areas of the campus.” Commonwealth Stadium is on campus last time I checked.

  77. Burger-N-Shake
    4:41 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    # 69 RACK ….. In light of the attention given to the brawl, he had little choice. Glad to see him make the tough call though the ban of the DJ seems a bit too much.

  78. Ken
    4:46 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Eli must definitely be a liberal..

  79. DrunkThisSaturday
    4:55 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Cant remember the last time i chose to go to a UK football game sober, sounds as fun as a handy with sand paper. This will be enforced only in the bowl area, and to believe otherwise is retarded, do you realize how many douche bag cops it would take to uphold this ban, and if they decided to have that many cops on duty to uphold such a dumb rule, then ask yourself, is this a worthy expense of my tax $, so that some dumb F’n college president can reduce the students to near 0 fun? Because they sure as hell are not going to the game sober! Yet what old Mr Eli fails to recognize is that they are college students, the determination and will (of a normal college student) to get drunk can be a pretty powerful force, so thanks for making my Saturday a little more challenging, but i still plan on getting it in and having fun!

    To all those that praise Capilouto for said policy… you clearly didn’t have that much fun in college, or you’re just so old that the Alzheimers is kicking in, regardless you’re morons, live a little and take the stick out of your a$$, hollow it out, and sip a drink, after all this is Bourbon Country!


  80. Tailgate Vet
    5:53 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    #77…. What “attention” are you referring to? Yes, the video was posted to YouTube by someone, but other than that I do not remember seeing the video anywhere else. Please show me another media source that showed the video before your beloved Drew Franklin….. And “he didn’t have a choice”? Of coarse he had a choice. There’s this little thing called the First Amendment which gives him the opportunity to choose what to or WHAT NOT TO say. He even went as far to say that the guy in the orange kicked the kid on the ground in the head. If you watch the video you can clearly see the kid in the orange kicked someone’s hand away from the wounded kid. It was in very poor taste, especially as a self-proclaimed “UK Fan”, for him to post the video.

  81. UniversityofBasketballandHandshaking
    6:00 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    8, 33, 34, 35 if you think the principle reason ppl go to a division 1 SEC school as an undergraduate is for the “education” you must not have gone there

  82. Chuck
    6:17 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHERE DID THEY DIG HIM UP? Obviously he’s in the wrong profession. Maybe he needs to go with Joker and the Rev. Mitch? And I thought “President Lee Todd and First Lady Patsy were bad!!!!” With guys like this there’s no way the biggest money making sport will succeed. Does he even go to the games?

  83. Chuck
    6:23 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Also – is “old Eli” going to go up and down Linestone, University, Waller and all the streets around the stadium and take names down for drinking and then call their parents? What’s next the season ticket holders tailgating?

  84. MadTex
    7:46 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Hey #73 “UKseniorCT” bite me!!!!

  85. Rixter
    8:38 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Let’s start a couple fights in the stands Saturday..maybe el presidente will ban football games…and lets face it, we could use the break.

  86. stevo51
    8:40 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    You get into fights and what do you expect?

  87. Tim Loy
    9:26 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    I think removing alcohol from underaged people is a very good idea. I also feel that alcohol and sports don’t mix well together. I have a great time at sporting events and alcohol is not involved. So Matt why don’t we give President Capilouto a chance and see how it goes?

  88. Tired of Being 1 of 12 games
    10:58 pm September 27, 2012 Permalink

    Does anyone think that is the first time anyone has got into a fight after a football game? Colleges always talk about preparing people to be adults, but they want to treat them like little kids.

  89. Dave Ball
    12:37 am September 28, 2012 Permalink

    hopefully he will ban couch burning and car overturning come April 2013

  90. GrowUpPeople
    7:36 am September 28, 2012 Permalink

    #88..When you choose to act like little kids that exactly how you will be treated. So “Papa Eli” basically said NO.

  91. Tired of Being 1 of 12 games
    8:02 am September 28, 2012 Permalink

    #90 How about showing some common sense and force the few that are out of line to behave. Blanked crack downs like this are never the best solution.

  92. johnwaynelives
    9:58 am September 28, 2012 Permalink