By now you’ve heard that UK president Eli Capilouto has banned
fun alcohol, DJs, and bands in the student tailgating zone, essentially robbing many students of their last reason to go to games. The move, which follows his refusal to cancel classes after UK won the National Title, further puts Capilouto into “Grumpy old man” territory. What’s next, Eli?
— Sundresses must go past the knee (will be subject to inspection)
— Solo cup checks across campus
— No more cornhole (too competitive)
— Students who are dancing must have at least 12″ of space between them
— Campus wide ban on flammable furniture
— Increased pat downs at Gate 1…good luck sneaking that flask in
— Any student who swears during the game or says something derogatory towards the other team must put $1 in the swear jar
— No dancing for 15 minutes after you eat
— Music must be turned down after 8:30 p.m.
— Next week, any student caught drinking in the student tailgate zone will be immediately bused to Keeneland
What else will Eli ban?