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Drink the Draft


Get it?


Hey there, guys. How’s your week been? Celebratory? Stressful? Fulfilling? If you’re anything like me (celebrating the Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup victory, taking three kids to the zoo on a rainy day, and having your parents in town for five whole days), it was a weirdly exhausting mixture of all three. Tonight, I’m ready to sit on my couch and watch the NBA draft uninterrupted, and you know what? I think the occasion calls for a beer or two. It’s been awhile since we’ve done one of these, and I think y’all know the rules by now. The draft begins at 7 pm on ESPN. Ladies and gentlemen, fill your glasses.

Take a Drink If:

-Shabazz Muhammad wears hipster glasses

-You see someone’s mother crying

-Calipari is shown

-A draftee is sporting a new watch

-Every time a commentator talks about how weak this year’s draft is

-Kentucky’s draft record under Calipari is mentioned

-Everytime a commentator uses the words “motor,” “wingspan,” or “raw athleticism.” Chug if they use all three in reference to Archie Goodwin.

-David Stern gets booed

-Footage of Nerlens’ ACL tear is shown


Take a Shot If:

-Nerlens  has a shocking hairstyle

– Nerlens wears the suit that you voted for 

-ESPN plays the clip of DeMarcus Cousins describing Coach Cal with one word

-Commentators stumble on an international player’s name

-Actually, just take a shot anytime you see an international player. Gotta make them interesting somehow.

-Someone is wearing an all-white suit

-Roy Williams wears all his rings

-John Wall’s tattoos are discussed

-You see Kelly Olynyk and think for a second it’s Kyle Wiltjer

-A player’s suit doesn’t fit

-You see a New York Knicks fan screaming in a jersey with no shirt on underneath.


Chug Your Drink If: 

-Nerlens Noel goes number one overall

-The Stanley Cup shows up

-Archie Goodwin goes first round

Tom Crean cuts down a net when Victor Oladipo and/or Cody Zeller are drafted

-Players are climbing ladders for no reason



Article written by Kristen Geil

11 Comments for Drink the Draft

  1. Michael F. Jox
    3:43 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    Damn, that Newcastle Brown Ale looks absolutely delicious right now from my desk at work!

  2. Jordan
    3:45 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    When you guys try to be hip it’s so unathentic…….. Drew Franklin can barely get away with it……..

  3. Takeoneinthekeester?
    3:57 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    As long as Kristen gets sloppy drunk, count me in. Aww skeet skeet

  4. tom
    4:13 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    2. Agree

  5. Kentucky Effect
    4:16 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    Where are the IPA’s in that bar?

  6. jpizzle
    4:21 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    When Jay bilas talks about length and athleticism is that a shot or a chug? I’ll hang up and listen…

  7. Andrew
    4:22 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    I don’t believe Bazz was invited??… i could be incorrect…

  8. Insignificant
    4:39 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    Why does anyone give a rats ass about a draft?????

  9. [email protected]
    4:53 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    Lame post

  10. IPA
    5:11 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    i suck and taste terrible so i am not available…

  11. theSkinny81
    5:15 pm June 27, 2013 Permalink

    Lotta trolls on here lately. I guess ol’ Looeyville is getting it all in while they can.