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Dear Blogger Contestants…

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Today you’ve started a journey.  For some of you, the journey could already be over.  For others, you’ve taken a step closer to the glory land where you will be submitted to rookie hazing like having to velcro Drew’s shoe for him or drive Beisner’s kids to the doctor- in Tampa.  It’s a road few choose to venture down, partly because they don’t want to be associated with dorks like us.  But it is also rewarding.  The women throw themselves at you, the commenters will be nothing but positive and Matt will give you an encouraging call or text when you do something stupid.  All in all, it’s a great gig so, we, the the Four Horsemen of Blogger Contest 2009, would like to give you some friendly advice about what lies ahead for you.  Chris, Kate, Will and I have all brainstormed and collected tips and hints you should keep in mind when writing your initial submission and if you are to advance in the competition.  Without further adieu…

1)  Be self-deprecating — We all appreciate someone that can acknowledge your own shortcomings.  We tease Matt about his hair, Drew about his eyebrows and Will about his My Little Pony collection, so let us know what makes you kind of a major dork.  It’s can definitely be endearing.  It that heterosexual sort of way.

2) Choose a good picture — This is essential to a good post.  Sometimes a picture can make or break a post, so get something that is relevant to the post, attention grabbing and/or good for a chuckle.

3) Don’t try too hard— This is a major point.  If you’re trying too hard you’re not being yourself and it comes through in posts.  You’ll hear Matt harp on this in the coming weeks, but find a voice and stick with it.  Being unique is a good thing.  If you don’t sound like everyone else, that’s also a good thing.

4) Bribery works— Our Judges aren’t above being bribed.  In fact, Will’s vote is officially going to the highest bidder.  Just search ‘Will’s KSR Vote’ on eBay and bid away.  If that doesn’t work, I understand he’ll gladly accept bribes of jigsaw puzzles (ones with unicorns) and Werther’s Orginals. 

5) Stick to what you know — Listen, I don’t know much about football to be honest.  Chris Johns knows way more about football than I do, but what I didn’t know, I made it up in creativity.  There is no one way to win this competition, it takes a little bit of everything. 

6) Develop thick skin— Coming from the guy who just passed down the Tipton, Jr.  torch recently (thanks, James!), I’ve seen my fair share of criticism in the comments.  It’s tough, but just realize that none of it should be taken personally and it takes a pretty big person to put their work out there for faceless people to criticize.  That said, this site is what it is thanks to the commenters, so thank you all for calling us names. We’re better for it. 

7) Get a twitter— If you are submitting an entry, let Matt know if you’ve got a Twitter account and Tweet frequently.  Twitter is a great place if you’re clever, and it can really help in the competition.  And who knows, it may just be involved in one of the week’s assignments.

8 ) Form alliances— Will and I made like Survivor last season and supported each other during the competition.  We’re still not sure if it actually helped in any way, but it really gave the contest and cutthroat feel to it. 

9) Comment on your own posts— There has to be someone that says something good about you, right?  I thought I was being pretty sneaky last year when I would applaud Patrick Barker’s effort under an alias in the comments and put down all the other contestants, but one night at Tolly Ho Matt told me I was never fooling anyone.  Oh well.

So there is our advice to you.  Enjoy the process and good luck.  And don’t forget…Werther’s Originals.

Sincerely,

Patrick, Will, Chris and Kate

Article written by Patrick Barker