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Cry Longer, Pray Harder, Circumcise Faster

Tim Tebow is a virgin – he always has been.  But every road to celibacy has a few bumps along the way and, in Tim Tebow’s case, it is the NFL jewelry policy.  In a controversial move amongst Jonas Brothers fans, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has denied Tebow’s request to wear his promise ring during games this season.  So, Nike and EA Sports have teamed up to design a promise shoe for Tebow that will let everyone know that Tim is still a virgin.  The back of the shoe reads “PROMISE” followed by the date of Tebow’s first kiss.

Wait…

Ok, I have just been informed that Tebow’s new shoe has nothing to do with his virginity.  That’s my bad.  The shoe’s “PROMISE” theme is a reference to that emotional speech he gave after losing to Ole Miss.  Ya know, the one where he was wearing the Armani t-shirt and everyone thought he was going to pass out at the podium because he wasn’t taking a breath between sentences.  Yeah, they made a shoe out of that.

Like our very own John Wall, Tebow is one of the most talked about rookies heading into the professional level and his first shoe deal was a bit of a surprise.  Similar to Wall signing with Reebok over Nike, Tim Tebow shocked the world and chose a Nike/EA Sports shoe over the Birkenstock two-buckle leather sandal.

Florida fans will be all over this one.  Taylor Wyndham could not be reached for comment.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR