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Cream cheese is a no-no

violation

Don’t even look at that, Demarcus.

Contrary to Lane Kiffin’s belief, the NCAA Division 1 Compliance rules are set in place for good reason (all 5,060,111 of them). We all know the obvious: a student-athlete can’t accept Escalades, Winn-Dixie bags full of money, or diamond-pennant chains with the school’s emblem. But some of the rules in the 483 page guide just seem completely ridiculous, like the one Tomlin found on the UK Compliance Twitter page a few weeks ago…

“Beginning August 1, 2009, an institution can provide fruit, nuts and bagels to student-athletes at any time.”

Ok. Student-athletes need their nutrition, I guess. They work hard day in and day out for the university, who makes a killing off of their performance, so why not reward them with a complementary bagel with cream che… What? Cream Cheese is a violation?!

According to George Mason’s head coach Jim Larranaga it is. Jim tweeted the ground-breaking rules change a few days ago and the number one rule in life is to never, ever, ever question a man’s tweet… it’s legit.

“Compliance meetings begin tmw for the new year. New NCAA rule allows us to provide players bagels but no cream cheese or butter. Love it!”

So there you have it.  The NCAA strikes again.

And speaking of Twitter… follow me and I will randomly pick a winner each week to receive a free autographed photo of Dustin Rumbaugh and Beisner riding a two-seater bicycle.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR