This past Tuesday we were treated to that rare sports event that is near exclusive to college basketball: The Storming of the Court. While some might take offense to such an act of pure joy, I take it as a compliment to my team. Either way, it got me to thinking about the level of happy that a big win induces and why it has to be confined to just basketball. Why not pinpoint other rare events that allow, nay, demand deliriously happy abandonment of all composure? While you might not have a court to storm, you can get all sorts of euphoric because of these situations. Let’s call it:
The Court Stormin’ Happy List:
Small Life Victories:
-Snow day (if you are in school, near the opposite if you have to work)
-Your boss cancelling a meeting.
-Getting the good-looking Hooters girl as your waitress. (Never happens to me)
-Two bags of Grippo’s chips slipping off the spindle of a vending machine when you only paid for one.
-Your tubby butt just punched the last slot of your Coldstone Creamery card. (free ice cream for joo!)
-Getting cop-sluggin’ drunk only to wake up miraculously without a hangover.
-Getting that busty hair stylist at Supercuts that stands real close while cutting your hair.
-You just found out that Jessica Biel is starring in an R rated movie. And she is playing a stripper.
-You drive through more than 4 lights in Lexington without hitting a red one. (near impossible)
-Getting a heavy whiff of stink from your kid, checking the diaper, and realizing it was all gas, no solid.
-Getting a full size Snickers bar rather one of those minis on Halloween (kids only)
-Realizing your kid still has candy left over from Halloween when you are craving some sugar snacks. (Bonus: Your kid was saving the full sized candy bar. Bad move, kiddo.)
-Going to the strip club and realizing that your sister finally quit. (Now only if your mom would finally retire. . .)
-Seeing a funny Wal-Mart commercial. (Clowns in pain will never cease to break me up)
-Your wife telling you that she doesn’t think there is quite enough copulation in your marriage and is something you should work on.
-KSR goes more than 48 hours without a server problem.
-Chris Cross gets laryngitis.
-Getting a hole in one at a charity golf tournament. (Has this ever happened?)
-Making the wrong bet at Keeneland only to realize that your error paid off. (a personal favorite)
-Getting to work and seeing your boss is sick, leaving you free to surf KSR with wild abandon.
-Realizing your buddy was able to sneak an entire fifth into Commonwealth.
-Two full rows of flavor-fresh, homegrown Brandywines so juicy they make you wanna smack your mama. (Rich Brooks only)
-One of your favorite college players delivering an absolute facial to an NBA legend (and you knew it was coming)
You guys got any more?