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Chuck Norris’ Thursday News and Views

Chuck Norris turns 71 years old today.  You want to make jokes about it, go ahead.  I’m going to hold off.

Now onto a few UK notes…

 – On the eve of the SEC Tournament’s start, Coach Cal traveled to New Jersey for the St. Patrick’s – St. Anthony’s game that featured Michael Gilchrist and the fictional national championship on the line.  And that pretty much sums up the good part of the story.  With the title on the line, Gilchrist struggled in scoring only seven points, none of them in the second half, as he battled foul trouble and the evil karma that comes with a Hurley on the opposing sideline.  On the bright side, instead of spending the next 30 years of his life out of shape and telling everyone who would listen about how he was screwed on a cold night in Jersey like the rest of us, he’ll be a part of what could be the greatest recruiting class of all time in a few months and chase for some championship reunion.  So don’t even try to bring it up at the 10-year reunion!

 – Because, just as Cal told us, this whole shindig in Atlanta is really only about improving seeding for the NCAA Tournament, the Cats got some good news from a pair of bracket experts Wednesday.  Jerry Palm and Joe Lunardi both put the Cats within striking distance of a three-seed in the NCAA Tournament, with Palm saying an SEC Tourney title good enough to do it and Lunardi putting the Cats only two teams away.  One of the teams keeping the Cats from moving up in the ESPN bracekt is Florida, which the Cats would presumably pass with a tournament victory.  The other two are Wisconsin and Syracuse. Of those two, Syracuse seems the most likely for the Cats to be able to pass, thanks to Wisconsin getting either Penn State or Indiana (a win) and then a Purdue team that is regarded highly enough that a loss would not appear to impact the Badgers too much.  Syracuse, however, has the potential to drop their first Big East Tournament game against St. John’s and, for Cats fans, that means rooting hard for the Johnnies Thursday.  If Syracuse were to win that game, they would most likely get Pitt, who like Purdue, wouldn’t diminish their standing by losing.  So, if the Cats win out, it appears there’s a good shot.  If Syracuse can drop their game Thursday, that shot becomes great.

– Speaking of Steve Lavin’s team, they seemed to benefit from one of the worst officiating oversights of recent memory when Justin Brownlee traveled and then stepped out of bounds and heaved the ball in celebration at midcourt with 1.7 seconds remaining on the clock.  St. John’s had a two-point lead over Rutgers at the time and officials did not blow the whistle, instead letting the game end and earning postgame cricitism from NCAA Head of Officiating John Adams, who called it “unacceptable”.  Big East commissioner John Marinatto agreed that a mistake was made.  Fans of college basketball simply said, “yeah, seems about right”.

– If you’re in Atlanta and you’re already fired up about seeing some basketball, no matter how badly it will make your eyes bleed, the Ole Miss – South Carolina game tips off at 3:30.  The winner, of course, will get the reward of facing Kentucky Friday.  Still not interested?  The guys will be at STATS.

 – The NCAA also reared its ugly head again Wednesday as Baylor’s Perry Jones was suspended for a game for receiving improper benefits in high school.  It’s another ruling that seems a little ridiculous when you attempt to look at it logically and one that is particularly damning for the Bears, who were fighting to earn an NCAA Tournament berth before getting blasted by an awful Oklahoma team without Jones.  According to reports, the improper benefit ruling stemmed from Jones’ mom receiving help on two mortgage payments totaling less than $1,000 from his AAU coach and all of the money was repaid well before he enrolled in college.  The family has known the coach since Jones was a sixth-grader, according to the same report.  As we often see with the NCAA, a rule is a rule and there is little wiggle room.  Unless there’s something more to it than what was initially reported, it seems like they’ve again removed logic and punished a lot of people for something that probably didn’t deserve an punishment at all.

  – Some sad news trickled in just a few minutes ago as Michael Gilchrist Tweeted that his cousin passed away while he was playing for the national title Wednesday night.  Gilchrist said it was “by far the worst day of my life”.  Our prayers go out to him and his family.

That’s it for now.  Make sure you stick around all day as we get going with the SEC Tournament coverage.  The KSR crew will be broadcasting from STATS at 10am and you’ll be able to catch it on Talk Radio 1080.  We’ll be live-blogging the Ole Miss – South Carolina game at 3pm.  Make sure you check it out.  In the meantime, let’s give a heartfelt congratulations to Bob Huggins for being accepted as the newest member of the Memphis dance team.


See you in a few…

Article written by Thomas Beisner

47 Comments for Chuck Norris’ Thursday News and Views

  1. huggins caption
    11:56 pm March 9, 2011 Permalink

    “win! or you’ll be living in a van down by the river!!!!!”

  2. AKA cold buckets
    12:03 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    prayers with Gilchrist and his family. I really wanted him to win too.

  3. SexnNursinHomes
    12:06 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris is 71? no f***** way. Chuck Norris doesn’t get wrinkles. Wrinkles get Chuck Norris

  4. Casey Mitchell
    12:16 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Man, I’m glad this game is over. I’m going to get drunk off my rear at an under 21 bar and urinate in public, cause Morgantown is large toilet.

  5. BlueJ
    12:16 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Hugging looks like tony soprano with hair, behind him is John.

  6. Joe Mazzulla
    12:17 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I’m so upset by that loss I’m going to go punch another person in the face then go urinate in public with Casey.

  7. Luther in Louisville
    12:26 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I still do not understand how that pig and his band of scrubs beat UK last March….

  8. Shootin' Blanks
    12:29 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris actually died 12 years ago…death just doesn’t have the balls to tell him yet

  9. WildCobb Salad
    12:31 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    7. No doubt. I was at that game and it was onne of the most painful things I’ve ever watched. Oh, and WVU fans are even more vile than anyone can describe in words. They really are a rotten group of lowlifes.

  10. level 9 pissed
    12:45 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Somewhere Josh Harrellson is jealous looking at that picture.

  11. Cousins Fake Teeth
    12:51 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    /FAIL – Thursday news and views posted at 11:40pm on a Wed

  12. Jesus Christ saved my soul
    1:05 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Prayers are with the Gilchrist family. Life is much more important than basketball. Hang in there Mike:) Keep the faith.

  13. TheGuyPitinoForgotToPayToGetFreshFishAtPorchinis
    1:06 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    If Chuck Norris were to shave all his hair on his body (hypothetical… we know there is no razor capable of that) there would be no tan lines.

    As Chuck Norris doesn’t tan from the sun, he glows golden on the surface from within.

  14. ukwildcatwildfan
    1:09 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris is going for the Harrellson look. It’s catching on!

  15. TheGuyPitinoForgotToPayToGetFreshFishAtPorchinis
    1:14 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    The one thing Chuck Norris can’t control (there is only one) is the constant drip of lead from him gun.

    This is simply evolution at it’s peak. If it’s not happening to you, then your not in the Chuck Norris gene pool.

  16. GoodGuysWearBlue
    1:24 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris does not make birthday wishes – Chuck Norris issues his list of demands.

  17. AKA cold buckets
    1:27 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris wears Brandon Knight pajamas

  18. UKhoopshysteria
    1:52 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    At night before he goes to bed, the Boogie Man looks for Chuck Norris in his closet.

  19. big jo
    2:48 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    aside from the chuck norris jokes… something that i find coincidental about the St. John’s/Rutgers game… the O/U on the game was 128.5… final score? 65-63… 65+63=128… hmmm…

  20. JimBobCooter
    5:17 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    (dramatic pause)

    “Walker told me I have AIDS…”

  21. I can't see the comments
    6:03 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris does not have a birthday. He picks one.

    I want Ole Miss so bad and I hope we can absolutely destroy them. I hope Warren gets blocked 12 times and Liggins posterizes him. I didn’t really care for Ole Miss before, now I hate them.

  22. SCCat
    7:33 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I love this day….all basketball with no pressure or anxiety about our game; watching all the teams who are clawing to dream of a chance to perhaps knock off the CAYTS in the tourney; knowing we’re about to squash every other SEC team’s fans hopes and send them packing home from ATL with crying kids and a big bar bill. I love Thursday of the SEC Tourney!

    See ya at STATS.

  23. Doug E Fresh
    7:36 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Is it just me or does it look like Chuck’s wearing JORTS?!?!?!

  24. Lou eaton
    7:52 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Too bad for Baylor. Good for us that is was them because had it been UK it would have been a five year death penalty or almost!

  25. gCats
    7:57 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    These are not jokes…There all Chuck Norris facts. Chuck Norris’ pick up line: “Now.”

    He was also born 9 months early.

  26. 101blue
    8:09 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris is the only one who can delete the windows recycle bin.

  27. GummyBear
    8:11 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris did not turn 71 today.. the age 71 turned Chuck Norris.

  28. GummyBear
    8:13 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    8… Best Chuck Norris line ever!

  29. Mr Schwump
    8:13 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Those refs need to come to the SEC, they’d fit right in.

  30. Kevin Bacon's Dancemoves
    8:17 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris punched Alex Legion in the soul which in turn ended his basketball career.

  31. Kevin Bacon's Dancemoves
    8:18 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Jesus walked on water and gave Chuck Norris the rights to swim through land

  32. Steady
    8:19 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris downloaded all adobe acrobat updates before he logged in.

  33. Some Guy in Kentucky
    8:22 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    If coach Cal would have been acting like Huggins was last night, the media would kill him, not talk about what a great teacher he is.

  34. me
    8:24 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    29-Burr has called in the SEC a lot this year.

  35. minton
    8:26 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He waits.

  36. fish
    8:29 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Huggins looks like Don Ho’s brother… Ass Ho

  37. The Real Pioneer
    9:05 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Huggins was really giving some stares during that game!

    And prayers going out to the Gilchrist family. I know that had to a difficult time for them.

  38. Al's IndiCats
    9:30 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Whats the difference between Selby and Perry Jones??????? Schools are going have to get some control over this DAMN NCAA. There’s not one shred of difference, with maybe the exception of Selby being at ku….Is there no resemblence of stability with these guys?
    (A)..Newton at Aub.
    (B)..Tressel at OSU
    (E)..Jones at Baylor

    The earth doesn’t orbit on it’s own, Chuck Norris wills it.

    Finally, My prayers to the Gilchrist Family. May God wrap his arms around his family today to ease their loss.

  39. C.A.T.S
    9:44 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse…now we have giraffes!

  40. MISSUKFAN42141
    9:48 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris wears John Wall Pajamas

  41. gary
    9:52 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    I’ve been saying for a long time that the Big East games are being decided by the leagues office instead of on the court. Just a couple of weeks ago 3-lower ranked teams upset(?) higher ranked teams (2-of them on the road. Now St. Johns wins on a strange noncall, hmmmm St.Johns/New York/Madison Square/TV, I’m just saying.

  42. rockatao
    10:21 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    burr and higgins called the St John – Rutgers game yesterday. Anybody remember the UK – St Johns game in 2000 when the refs absolutely stole the game from the Cats. Guess who called that game? With seconds left, on an inbounds play, Higgins from fifty feet away and shielded from the play, said Tayshaun dropped the ball out of bounds. Everybody in the gym clearly saw the Johnnie’s player knock it out of his hands. St Johns scores on subsequent play and wins the d*** game

  43. WildCobb Salad
    10:35 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    11. Oh hello, you must be new. 99% News and Views are posted a few minutes before midnight. Turd.

  44. Inside Your Mind
    11:52 am March 10, 2011 Permalink

    College athletics needs a Jose Canseco. Meaning, a guy that knows what is going on, perhaps cheated himself, can expose others that are cheating and the hypocrisy of the NCAA. Unless someone does that the cheating will continue. The NCAA protects certain programs and interests for the almighty dollar. It needs to be exposed.

  45. Model Citizen Zero Discipline
    2:58 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

  46. Shootin' Blanks
    3:00 pm March 10, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Norris don’t use a condom..there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris!