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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Chestnut wins! America again a world power!

These fine United States can continue to hang their head high after Joey Chestnut won his third straight Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest by knocking down 68 in ten minutes. Takeru Kobayashi, who came armed with a villain haircut again this year, finished second with 64. The guy from my journalism class who ralphed all those Hooters wings on True Life: I’m a Competitive Eater on MTV may or may not have competed.

My favorite programming note of the contest, though, was when ESPN tagged their note about Eater X living with Crazy Legs Conti in the East Village with “He’s single”. America ain’t ready for a competitive eating power couple!

Article written by Thomas Beisner