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Cards Against Humanity’s Saturday News and Views

That was the most appropriate example I could give without offending someone when I google image searched “Cards Against Humanity.” Those cards shown above would be considered “tame” for that game. What is that game, you might ask? Well, imagine Apples to Apples with an edge. If Apples to Apples got slapped by Amanda Bynes on one cheek and Howard Stern on the other, you would have “Cards Against Humanity.” If Apples to Apples took a shot or two of Bourbon, or spent an evening at Tin Roof with Drew Franklin and Stone Cold Willow, the result would be “Cards Against Humanity.” Got the point?

As popular as the game Apples to Apples became across the country, Cards Against Humanity is just that much better. If you’re like me and my friends who have played Apples to Apples, you had certain cards you deemed “Trump Cards.” A trump card was a card that no matter when you played it, it was a guaranteed victory. Examples: Helen Keller, Oral Surgery, My Body, My Love Life, etc. Those cards are tough to beat when they are thrown down. The original game of Apples to Apples has about 10-12 trump cards. In Cards Against Humanity, every card is a trump card. Not kidding. If you are at a Bachelorette party, birthday party, having a game night with a group of adults, etc. it’s the perfect game. You will be surprised by the inappropriateness and sick sense of humor of AT LEAST one of your friends. And it’s usually someone you least expect. Leave your propensity for political correctness at the door, and you will be entertained for hours with this game.


And now, on to the news and views as we plunge forward into the weekend…

—- Nearly 24 hours have passed since the conclusion of one of the most bizarre drafts in NBA history. In the wake of the morning after, just about anyone and everyone has taken a turn in trying to dissect, understand, and analyze the events of last night. We’ll get into that in just a moment. In case you’ve been living under a rock though, the most important information you need to know is this:

1) Nerlens Noel was drafted to the 76ers with the 6th overall pick in the NBA draft, via a trade with the New Orleans Pelicans

2) Archie Goodwin slipped in at the last moment in the 1st round, being selected 29th overall by the Phoenix Suns, via a trade with the OKC Thunder and the Golden State Warriors

3) I don’t know if LeBron James is as good of a basketball player as Michael Jordan, but I could almost guarantee that he would make a better GM than Michael Jordan. I said it last night and I’ll say it again…when Michael Kidd-Gilchrist heard that Cody Zeller was the player the Bobcats were using a top 5 pick on, he stopped smiling for the first time in his entire life.

—- We’ve already talked about it some on KSR today, but the “fall of Nerlens Noel” that we all watched unfold last night on national television was nothing short of painful to watch. Between watching Noel go to battle each night when he put on the blue and white, to seeing him suffer a gut-wrenching injury, to watching his kind nature toward a young child named Kelly with cancer (among others), to hearing him constantly talk glowingly about his time as a Kentucky Wildcat– we all feel a connection to Nerlens Noel. Everyone in the Big Blue Nation watched last night, hopeful that a tough and early end to a college career would somehow be made a little better by being selected as the #1 overall pick. Not that being picked #1 would make everything right, but it would have been a nice silver lining to what has been a difficult road for Noel.

Big Blue Nation collectively felt the pain in Noel’s face as he quickly realized that he was not going to fulfill his dream to be the #1 pick. As the names continued to roll by, without hearing Noel’s called, a twinge of anxiety began to build. Just how far was Nerlens going to fall? Finally, finally… Noel was selected with the #6 pick. Noel will end up a Philadelphia 76er. Anyone who knows anything about Noel knows that he will not be discouraged by the fall, but perhaps be motivated instead. Falling from the #1 pick was not a devastating blow to Noel or his NBA career. As the kids say, “a minor setback for a major comeback.”

—- Kyle Tucker of the Courier-Journal was able to catch up with Noel in New York in the hours following the draft. Noel took the fall from #1 in stride, clearly using the emotions as fuel to drive him moving forward. “When I’m established in the NBA, I’ll say this is the night that gave me the motivation I needed. As hard as I was working, I’m definitely going to do everything with a bigger chip on my shoulder.”

—- It would be foolish to ignore the financial side of things, especially when talking about the NBA, a major business at it’s core. Although Noel’s fall from 1-6 may not change his NBA career path too much, Forbes says that the draft slide could cost him $10 million dollars.

 “That’s a tough pill to swallow for a 19-year-old kid who has spent the last few months being told he was the draft’s top pick. And the earnings dip doesn’t necessarily end after those 4 years–his team’s max qualifying offer will be $5.8 million when his contract expires in 2017. Bennett, who went first overall to the Cavaliers, will have a max qualifying offer of $9.5 million.”

—- Archie Goodwin on the other hand, should be feeling very pleased with his position as a first round draft pick. Following a month of uncertainty that had him slated to fall anywhere from 20 to late in the 2nd round, Goodwin landed right at the end of the 1st round. Translation= Guaranteed money.

—- Goodwin and the Phoenix Suns feels like a good match on both parts. Goodwin seems happy and comfortable following workouts, and the Suns really wanted Goodwin. He may not have been the “best available player” when the Suns drafted him, but the Suns did their homework. The Suns were the only team to bring Goodwin in for a second workout. “He is a guy we feel like has great potential,” Ryan McDunough said about the Suns’ first round selection.

—- Goodwin spoke about his emotional high following the news, “Seeing my family happy made me happy. I’m going to get started working right away. This is the team I wanted to play for. I feel really comfortable with here.”


—- In the aftermath of the NBA draft, the various analysts combed through the results, sharing their thoughts on the whole evening.

 [Gary Parrish on who went too high and who went too low ]

5 Players Picked Too Low

6. Nerlens Noel: Noel has long been considered the top prospect in this draft, and I’m not sure how or why that changed so drastically. His knee is reportedly fine. So it’s not that. In short, I think, people made mistakes here. Noel should have never fallen out of the top five.

[ Matt Moore of CBS grades each of the draft picks ]

#4  D+  Charlotte Bobcats select Cody Zeller, PF, Indiana

He’s going to get blocked all the time. His level of aggressiveness near the basket is not where it needs to be. He’s going to have problems with guys that are more physical. Does he have the skill to overcome that?

#6  A  Pelicans (76ers) select Nerlens Noel, C, Kentucky

The only reason it’s not an A+ is the knee issue. I really like his ability to block shots. He’s instinctive. When he starts learning some veteran tricks, he can be dangerous.

#29 B+  Thunder selecte Archie Goodwin, SG, Kentucky

The pick wins up in Phoenix via trade. I like this pick a lot. It gives the Suns a significant upgrade on the wing.

[ Jeff Goodman says Nerlens’ slide may have been a blessing in disguise ] 

“Noel thought he wanted to go first overall, but he didn’t want that label. Nobody in this draft is prepared to handle those expectations…

The fall certainly cost Noel a few bucks in his first contract, but the second deal is the one that truly matters. Now Noel has a chance to be far more marketable in a city like Philadelphia than in Cleveland. He’ll also come in with a chip on his shoulder again, similar to when he arrived at Kentucky a year ago with no shortage of skeptics.”

— In an interesting post-draft tidbit, according to Eric Crawford, the NBA Draft averaged a 7.1 rating in 4.5 hours in the Louisville market, which was the largest in the United States. It’s fairly impressive that Louisville was able to outdraw all of the cities who have actual NBA teams residing in them. Between the Kentucky fans in Louisville, and the Louisville fans watching for Gorgui Dieng and Peyton Siva (genuine congratulations to those 2, by the way), a ton of interested eyes were focused on the draft last night.

—- While this year’s NBA draft for Kentucky fans wasn’t quite as rich as some of the ones in year’s past since Calipari’s arrival, next year’s draft for Kentucky could be nothing short of epic. Kentucky promises to be THE story line of next year’s draft, and I wouldn’t be surprised if another record is broken by the Wildcats.

—- One NBA scout told Chad Ford the following about Julius Randle, “In a normal, non-Wiggins year, he would easily be the number one pick.”

—- Gary Parrish came out with a set of waaaaay early draft predictions for the lottery picks in 2014. It should come as no surprise that Kentucky players were sprawled out across the list. Kentucky had 4 players projected in the lottery. With that type of talent, Tom Crean could definitely win the Maui Invitational.

1. Andrew Wiggins, Kansas

2. Julius Randle, Kentucky

3. Aaron Gordon, Arizona

4. Jabari Parker, Duke

5. Marcus Smart, Oklahoma State

6. Willie Cauley-Stein, Kentucky

7. Andrew Harrison, Kentucky

8. Mitch McGrary, Michigan, 9. Mario Hezonja, Croatia, 10. Isaiah Austin, Baylor, 11. Glenn Robinson, Michigan, 12. Montrezl Harrell, Louisville, 13. Aaron Harrison, Kentucky, 14. Semaj Christon, Xavier.

—- Speaking of the future of college basketball, the Harrison twins (Andrew and Aaron) have officially arrived in Lexington. The arrival sparked a mob scene with fans ooh-ing and aww-ing over the arrival. H/T Kyle Tucker for the picture below:


—-  With the Harrison twins’ arrival, and the conclusion of the 2013 draft, it’s time to start looking ahead to the future. But before we do, let’s take a quick look at one astounding statistic: Kentucky has had 17 draft picks, including 13 first-rounders, over the last 4 years under John Calipari.  #KentuckyEffect

—- The other big news of the day was first whispered by KSR’s very own Matt Jones. Word on the street is that a potential “Alumni Game” featuring the 2010 Kentucky team vs. the 2012 national championship Kentucky team is in the works. DeWayne Peevy gave some steam to the idea with this tweet tonight…

—- We might be able to finally put to rest the age old debate of which team was better, John Wall’s team or the national championship team? I have a feeling that the “friendly exhibition game” might just bring some heat from both teams, filled with highly competitive players who have on multiple occasions made claim that their team was better. Perhaps oddly enough, I put my money on the 2010 team. They weren’t the first group under Cal to win a title at Kentucky, and I think a part of that burns them up inside. I genuinely think they believe they were the best Kentucky team. Look for them to go all out proving that if the game happens…

—- Biggest question though… WHO DOES DARIUS MILLER PLAY FOR?

—- Some unfortunate news broke tonight in regards to Vanderbilt’s football team. Four players on the Vandy football team have been suspended amid a sex crimes investigation. Law enforcement is keeping a tight lid on the details, but keep an eye out for more news as the weekend goes on.

—- And last but certainly not least, stay tuned folks… Joker Phillips and his Twitter account are at it again…

Article written by Ally Tucker

I once successfully requested "The Wobble" to be played 6 times at one wedding.

34 Comments for Cards Against Humanity’s Saturday News and Views

  1. Duke Sucks
    10:46 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    I see Parker falling in the draft. Coach K is famous for holding back freshman( save Irving who was injured most of his only season at Duke) plus it looked as if he was falling last year. It could just be my hate for Duke but I see him being next years Shabazz!

  2. Mc
    10:48 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    Vigorous Jizz Hands…now that’s more appropriate for Cards Against Humanity. Fun game.

  3. BigBlue
    10:57 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    Funny to see ol Joker pounding his chest now.
    What a moron. Where was his swagger when he lost to Vandy by 40?!

  4. James
    11:04 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    Louisville fans: the most vile, small minded,
    Insecure and offensive fan base in the country. Nobody likes you, nobody cards about you. The day after your national title, pundits were talking about Kentucky as the presses on number one team. A 2-10 football team is kicking your Sugar Bowl team’s butts in recruiting.

    Enjoy being losers even in victory. And really? Trolling a rival fan base on a Friday night? I guess you ran out of Mountain Dew in the middle of your World of War Craft playing marathon so you sent your mommy out to get some more. In the meantime, you troll KSR to make yourself feel big and bad. Congratulations, you’re an Internet warrior,

  5. Nerlens
    11:20 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    Damn it must suck to be Nerlens! He’s only a top 10 pick in the NBA draft even with a bad knee! He became a instant millionaire last night.
    Nerlens was great for UK and from every thing I’ve seen he’s a wonderful human being. 95% of Americans would be glad to trade places with him so keep your head up young man. The draft is over and know your just like every player in the NBA. I would be willing to put my money on Nerlens being a star. He just has to good Karma!

  6. defending his race
    11:22 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    i know drew and matt j. takes every oppertunity to bash the white basketball player…which for some reason is cool now but codies actually a pretty good player and of all the players that went against anthony davis last year he gave him the most trouble…and i hate indiana, just proud that a white guy made the top 5 draft. matt and drew remember u are white!!!

  7. C'm on man
    11:29 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    9) I disagree with your reasoning, but I do agre with you about Zeller. I hate IU but I though Zeller clearly outplayed AD twice last year! I think him and Nerlens will be the best players from this draft!

  8. Seriously
    11:35 pm June 28, 2013 Permalink

    If they play the game now, the 2010 team will win..they have an extra 2 years nba experience. The real question, although unanswerable, is who would win if the kentucky versions of the teams played. In that scenario, I’d have to take 2012.

  9. cracka
    12:16 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    9, 10 – ad was not here last year … idiots

  10. Gov
    12:17 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Got u covered. Tell then all to come

  11. Budget
    12:26 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Got ya covered! Come on in!

  12. Ally is about a year behind
    12:34 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    first, this game is old news. way fun, but you’re extremely late to the party. they have it where you can select how much you’d like to pay for it…if you select free, they’ll ship you the game with the letter entitled “dear asshole.” And 2nd…if you think Zeller outplayed AD twice last year, you’re a f****** moron. Go suck his balls for lunch money…that’s not even close to the truth. Look at the stats…

  13. Let's be real
    12:43 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Calm down there pal! Yes I said he CLEARLY outplayed Davis twice and he did! I thought AD was over rated and wasn’t even the best player we had that year. MKG was the man who made that team great, he was just so unselfish it allowed others to shine.

  14. Mike
    1:19 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Ally, can someone at KSR address the rumors that Nerlens draft stock dropped because of the people he that he is associating with. I am an expat UK alum in Florida. None of this makes sense to me but I can’t seem to get any inside on these rumors.

  15. Mitch McGrary
    5:58 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    I will be the next NBA #1 draft pick.

    Me, Michigan’s Mitch McGrary

  16. Bledsoe's Biceps
    6:00 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Kinda hard to have much sympathy for Nerlens, when he’ll still make about $14 million over the next 4 years. That may be $10 million less than Bennett, but let’s get real. It’s the second and third contracts where they can really make their money. Plus, with his personality, if Nerlens performs well, his endorsement deals could earn him more than his contract.

  17. my computer
    7:43 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    How about “Humanity Against Cards?”

  18. Twins
    7:44 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    A “mob scene” for the Harrison bros.’ arrival? You people are sick with your obsession over the every move of teenage boys. Grow up freaks.

  19. Gannett Shtanx
    7:55 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Vanderbilt Football sex scandal.

    Imagine that.

    Eventually, the piper must be paid.

    BTW, Gannett owns the CJ; the 30 story trial is a joke…….driving up business for WDRB.

  20. Megan
    8:53 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Are we supposed to feel bad for Nerlens because his potential earnings dropped from $24 million to $14.3 million over the next four years? Forbes is looking at RELATIVE earnings. But on an ABSOLUTE basis, Nerlens just won the lottery! It’s a joyous thing. There’s nothing the least bit sad or depressing about it.

    Shame on anyone who tries to look at this as a negative.

  21. Lamont
    8:56 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    With all these first round picks, how did the Cats end up losing to Robert Morris in the first round of the NIT?

  22. Peyton
    9:06 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    You’ve got to bring Jodie Meeks back to play with the 2010 team!!! Everyone always thought that team would have been killer with him and it would be great for him to play with them in an alumni game.

  23. art vandalay
    9:32 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    21) surely the University of Riff Raff trolls have better things to be doing…plenty of blunts to burn and old ladies purses to be snatching this fine friday night rather than wasting everones time here.

  24. BlueDeuce
    9:52 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Clearly some of the writers here feel UKs success is about the NBA draft, much like Cal does. I have an astounding statistic for you…1 title with all that talent is amazing! Actually sad…and failure to win it this year will cause the fan base to really heat up the debate about what our priorities are…NBA drafts or winning national titles?

  25. Stoops
    10:06 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Young had grade issues in high school. Any cause for concern?

  26. Let's Say it This Way...
    10:31 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Lamont, since you are not known for intelligence, let’s make it simple for you: Kentucky continues to achieve success on and off the court and you post negativity on another team’s message board. The gap between integrity and class and you gets wider every day.

  27. NOTDerby
    10:55 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Harrel at #13 Wtf? Looked like a 4 year role player last year

  28. Bobbum man
    11:08 am June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Why so many trolls? I thought KSR was going to address this… I go to a UL site and say anything short of you wanting to bang Rick pitino and your banned, while maybe not that harsh it’s getting a little out of hand

  29. tom5673
    11:53 am June 29, 2013 Permalink


  30. Mc
    12:08 pm June 29, 2013 Permalink

    #24) Let’s put it in perspective: How many championships do the Big 12 and Big 10 have since 1990 (as a conference)? Then you want to complain that Cal has 1 in 4 years. He has an Elite 8, Final 4, and Championship and a great team coming in. Intelligent fans will not debate anything regarding Calipari. He’ll leave on his terms, and we’ll look back at how awesome it was to watch his teams.

  31. Mc
    12:11 pm June 29, 2013 Permalink

    Pitino has been to the NIT twice as head coach of Louisville. I want to keep reminding you that since you keep conveniently forgetting that.

  32. Mc
    12:12 pm June 29, 2013 Permalink

    #24) So you don’t have to look it up, the entire Big 12 has 1 championship since 1990. The entire Big 10 has 1 championship since 1990.

  33. aja
    12:36 pm June 29, 2013 Permalink

  34. Msgr. Thyme
    6:11 pm June 29, 2013 Permalink

    In pro sports, the life cycle is limited.

    Via agency, earn; via attorney or trusted financial advisor, earn more.

    Bottom line: don’t blow your wad. Invest it in SMART business decisions.

    The cases exists for success. Study them.

    Unfortunately, the failures do too; study them.

    It is incumbent upon Coach CAL to ENSURE that his pro prospects get an education (in the year….) in re FINANCIAL Responsibility and the power of compounding.