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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

CAPTION THIS!

By now you know how this works.  You submit funny comments, we peruse and choose the one’s that make us laugh.  So today you get the vast world of Louisville and Jorts humor.  Choose wisely my friends.

First ten ‘white guys can’t jump’ jokes are free.

—————————————————————

caption2
(From Tennessee’s home loss to Oakland)

LAST EDITION’S WINNERS:

FKcat:

Bruce: AM I GOING TO HAVE TO GET BARE-CHESTED AGAIN AND COME OUT THERE???

Assistant: If he does that again, I’m outta here.

martinbluther:

Pearl: Stress! Makes! Me! Turn! Orange!

Asst: Maybe teaching English as a second language far away would be a peaceful job. Maybe far, far away. My happy place, with less shouting and consternation, like, say, Beirut.

mooseknuckles:

Bruce Pearl: We are getting abused by a team from the Summit League!!!

Assistant: Hate to break it to you coach. It’s not the first time you have been abused by a Summitt.

And of course, it wouldn’t be today without a little…

Sam:

Asst: FREEEE

Pearl: ENES!!!!!!!!

Congratulations to our winners, your pirzes are in the mail.

Article written by Will Lentz

238 Comments for CAPTION THIS!



  1. boom
    8:07 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    1



  2. FUNNY!
    8:07 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: And I was suppose to be better than John Wall



  3. TRUTH
    8:07 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “FREE ENES!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    Siva: “I’m so fast, I just rebounded it, then threw it back up from here, and no one noticed!”
    Marra: “I think I see what I want as my next tattoo, “JORTS BOARDIN’



  4. Prince Ali
    8:07 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Hey Mikey 2 Dope, his shorts really are denim!



  5. GoCats2
    8:09 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts:Ref, I know I was fouled, there is fresh tattoo ink on my arm.



  6. TheWaitFor8
    8:09 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    “Eat my jorts!”



  7. boom
    8:09 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jones. im about to throw a left



  8. lebsdad
    8:09 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: its a bird
    Marr: its a plane
    Jorts: its Super Jorts!



  9. FUNNY!
    8:10 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: What’s that lack of talent I feel between my legs? Oh it’s just Siva, that make sense.



  10. Ashland Boy
    8:11 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    No, that’s NOT a banana in my pocket!



  11. John
    8:12 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I love playing ball against Oompa Loompas!!!



  12. Ciggy
    8:13 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    siva: who’s that big white boy?
    Mikey: You are gonna put someone’s eye out with that thing!
    Jorts: Here’s a little something we call little enes.



  13. Ciggy
    8:14 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    seriously, I bring nothing >.<



  14. FUNNY!
    8:16 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: The last time I was between someone’s legs like this, I was making Karen Sypher a few pounds lighter.



  15. shane
    8:17 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    mikey: But coach said i was the best white boy on the floor
    siva: Nah coach said i was oh wait im not white
    harrelson: You really can get off quick here in the ville



  16. cooper da hooper
    8:17 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    siva: do the john wall
    jorts: i’m gettin’ laid tonight
    marra: L-yeah, knee cap tats are fly



  17. ccctt11
    8:17 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva : Its the Mother Hen …
    Marra : I Told You He Don’t Like That Name …

    Josh : MOTHER HEN … This …



  18. shannon
    8:19 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    bruce:hoooooooweeeeeeee!!!
    assistant:He is killin me with those farts!!!



  19. Nick C
    8:19 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Damn Siva I know you like my jean shorts but quit trying to give me a reach around



  20. happy g 70
    8:20 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: I JUST SHAT MY JORTS
    Asst: MMMMM Taco Bell is open late….



  21. RidgeRunner
    8:21 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: I coulda swore it was under his right arm!
    Marr: Not under his right arm either, dude!
    Jorts: MUHAHAHA, No tatoo’s there either tards, Keep lookin’ *SLAM*



  22. RidgeRunner
    8:23 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    ^Marr..Left arm^ oops^



  23. MyReclinerSmellsLikeFart
    8:24 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts – I crap Cardinals and dunk in a single bound!



  24. AlbinoRhino502
    8:24 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    UL Players: Coach says “The balls drop after 15 seconds”



  25. GoCats2
    8:25 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    As much fun as these comments are to read, I still protest this entire concept. We now have 4 new writers coming to this blog and Will has the commenters doing all his work. Someone is trying to eliminate his own job.



  26. Eric Moore
    8:25 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Mike marra – hurry up Jennings grab his ankles



  27. Bob
    8:26 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: AHHH!!

    Siva: eeeeeee!

    Marra: DUHHHHH!



  28. He Hate Me
    8:27 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: Oh, so that’s how you score inside the three point line.
    Siva: Maybe I should start wearing jorts?



  29. Boggie
    8:28 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Free Enes!



  30. cats
    8:28 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    marra – when did enes check in?
    siva – shut up and help me box out
    jones – wait. is that enes?
    harrelson – which one of you two was talkin trash about my jorts!!
    jones – nevermind



  31. JeffCat
    8:29 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “Hey Mr. Insane Clown Posse. I’ve got a new idea for a tattoo. Just stand underneath the net and I’ll put right on your forehead.



  32. Bret Michaels
    8:30 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Apparently, lots of tats keep you nailed to the floor……



  33. Brad
    8:30 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    “Gilette Mach 3 allows you to glide. Notice the freshly shaved man is clearly dominating the guys with chin strap beards.”



  34. cards suck
    8:33 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    josh – i wish this game would just be over so i could go chill commando in my jorts



  35. Commander McBragg
    8:36 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Then God said: “Let us make JORTS in our image, after our likeness. Let JORTS have DOMINION over all. God saw how good it was and said it was CAT-TASTIC!!!!”



  36. memories
    8:36 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    siva: i….cant….hold….the jorts….down!
    marra: my god….its….its…its alive!
    jorts: AHHH..ive seen the light!



  37. Computer Blue
    8:39 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Damn these guys are good! And coach told us there weren’t nobody better than Drexel!



  38. Jorts
    8:39 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    “Get me some blue paint, This is my House”!!!!



  39. Jon
    8:40 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: I FINALLY shook Liggins!!!!!



  40. joe osborne
    8:40 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Hey peyton, stop looking at my jorts.



  41. byoung
    8:40 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    it’s unaware what marra is more surprised about:
    how a guy named jorts is tearing him apart, or why the other white boy on the court doesn’t have any fresh ink.
    either way, mikey 2 dope is bout to throwdown



  42. crawford01
    8:41 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Stop grabbin my jorts!
    Siva: Hey, where’s the ball?
    Marra: Whoa! Did they just free Enes!?



  43. PPat2theRafters
    8:41 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    marra: Hey siva how about a reach around?
    siva: I am trying but he won’t hold still for 15 seconds.
    Jorts: You’ve been hanging around your coach too long…probably because you couldn’t get drafted.



  44. Yeah_Buddy
    8:42 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Who freed Jorts?
    Marra: I think it was that ENES guy.
    Jorts: I just did the “Carlton Banks” on your head!



  45. Tuna
    8:42 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    JORTS – I’m gonna show Siva my ‘O face’

    Siva – Que?

    JORTS – O..O. O. OOOOOOOO



  46. FKCat
    8:42 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Harrelson – And this is how you “Clean the glass”.
    Siva – Do you need any help up there?
    Marra – You mean this doesn’t require a ladder? Okay…show me that one more time.



  47. UkbabyDoc
    8:43 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts, “Hey Cards, while you are down there pretending to be ballers, how about you tell me how my denim-clad a$$ tastes!”



  48. FlashOfBlue
    8:44 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Get your dougie out of my way!!



  49. Harley Wells
    8:45 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m so good I can shoot with my thumb and an elbow to the gonads.

    Siva: Didn’t Mike Phillips wear 55?

    Marra: I’m doing my John Pelphrey/Laettner impersonation.



  50. kytuffman
    8:45 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Hey Peyton, are you as surprised as I am?
    Siva: It can’t be quanteefied.



  51. RidgeRunner
    8:45 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: WHAT….
    Marr: THE….
    Jorts: just sayin’



  52. Eric Moore
    8:46 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva – is it Enes
    Mike marra – no but check out my new spider web tat on my knee
    Jennings – I feel like I just got tazed. I can’t move
    Jorts – Jennings I just made you my bi&@h



  53. Travi
    8:47 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    This goes for bruce pearl and his assistant.

    Bruce:Hey Kid I thought you liked the burger i cooked for you, now play like it.

    Asst: Ummmm that was a good burger.



  54. MIKE WORLEY
    8:48 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva..Coach told me since we couldn’t stop the big white guy from dominating to go ahead and elbow him in the nuts…Here goes.



  55. jorts
    8:50 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    somebody get me a double down!



  56. David S
    8:51 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: Here’s the plan: take down Harrelson

    Siva: Alright, I’ll get him when he’s in the air

    Harrelson: Oh my bad guys, there’s my 14th rebound



  57. TreyUK
    8:52 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts:Hey bro I don’t swing that way.
    Peyton Siva:¡Mierda!
    Mike Marra: I thought tattoos were supposed to make you better.



  58. simp
    8:53 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva and Marra: Too… many tats… can’t … jump.



  59. jnscats813
    8:53 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Are those Jorts cotton?
    Marra: It must be the Jorts.



  60. Wesleypipes
    8:53 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: isn’t that the dude that..
    Marra: yeh… The dude Billy G. had go sit in the crapper
    Jorts: while I was in there, I learned how b the shit and take two douches



  61. Prophet Brosiah
    8:55 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    “Damnit. He Shaved.”



  62. NKYCats
    8:56 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: My boyfriend likes this, it’s called the reach-around!!
    Marra: (To Harrelson) Quit playing so hard, my tattoo rubs off when I sweat



  63. Enes Lover
    8:57 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    COOOOOOKIIIIIEEEESSSS!



  64. kywildcard
    8:57 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: COME ON GUYS WE ARE LOSING AGAIN!

    Assistant: SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!



  65. simple....
    8:58 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva/Marra: YUM!!!



  66. The Voice Of Reason
    9:00 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Siva, tell me how my ass tastes?



  67. Jlew13
    9:00 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Mike: hey Siva is this what heaven looks like?
    Siva: don’t know mike but he sure looks like Jesus
    Josh: that’s right boys, I am a UK God here to bless ur Yum! Center!!!



  68. bigblueluap
    9:01 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Either one of you Retardnals have a tattoo of my “TEABAG”!



  69. Jamerican
    9:03 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: “Marra help me! I am being sucked into the Jortex!”



  70. mrjay505
    9:03 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Guys, you can skip the patdown–this plane has already taken off!



  71. weezy
    9:03 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m a man, I’m Jorty



  72. WHA WHA WHAT
    9:04 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    jorts:dude i am up here



  73. Flyingfishman
    9:05 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Rook!!!! Jortzilla!!!!!!



  74. CallerfromLexington
    9:05 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Happy New Year, little brothers!
    Siva: Mom hates our new tattoos.
    Marr: At least you’re a black dude. I just look as dangerous as the “bad” Bob Saget.



  75. Loyal_UK_Fan
    9:06 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: Dude. Siva. I can’t get that board.
    Siva: Me neither 2 Dope
    Harrellson: I CAN M*THERF*CKER!



  76. simple....
    9:07 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I. Am. Jorticus!!!!



  77. ATownStomp
    9:08 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva – KFC stands for Kung Fu Crotch, right?
    Marr – I think so… Go for it…
    Siva – OWWWWW!!! My f-ing elbow!!
    Jorts – You saw me flying.. You should’ve known I was the Man of Steel.



  78. Shields Eyes
    9:10 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Where can I get one of those pirzes Will was talking about?



  79. Hunter
    9:12 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva- Oh the only explanation is that he has to be black
    Marra- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he might touch me !!!!!!!!!!
    Jorts-hey god can i get some more of this black dude hops i ran out



  80. Alan
    9:13 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    This play should’ve never happened as Pitino attempted to send Linebeard #1 and Linebeard #2 to the bench on the previous possession, but two Kentucky fans had already bought their seats.



  81. Big SNoT
    9:14 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    The Infamous Samoan Reach Around….



  82. Alan
    9:14 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    or…
    Siva AND Marra exclaim, “Free Penis!”



  83. Roggensak
    9:15 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra is jealous cause Siva is trying to give Jorts a reach around instead of poking fingers with him (Marra) on the bench!!



  84. Dudybox
    9:16 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: I wonder if those rafters would hold up better than the Metrodome?
    Marra: MAN! This kid DOES have the right face required to pull off jean shorts!
    Jorts: Silva, I will buy you a bucket of chicken after the game as payment for this reach-around.



  85. T
    9:16 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Mara: What should we do?

    Siva: Nothing. It only hurts worse when you fight it…



  86. wildthang
    9:17 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Terrence Jones: watch out guys, that big white boy comes down hard



  87. tattoo charlie
    9:18 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    these tats are so heavy, we can’t jump



  88. Most Intersting Poster Alive
    9:18 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva and Mikey 2 Dope carried out their sinester plans to involve Jorts in a three way finger poke.



  89. Loyal_UK_Fan
    9:19 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: Dude, you have a tat that says Wendy?
    Siva: Yeah…My girl. Harrellson has a Wendy tat too…so what?
    Harrellson: Yeah but it’s not Wendy, it says “WElcome to jamaica, have a Nice DaY



  90. Most Intersting Poster Alive
    9:19 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts “put this in a straight jacket, Ass Clown!”



  91. catsfan
    9:20 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: It’s Rooster time!!!



  92. stevied
    9:20 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Shit man, were we supposed to jump.



  93. Loyal_UK_Fan
    9:20 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Left the N out

    Marra: Dude, you have a tat that says Wendy?
    Siva: Yeah…My girl. Harrellson has a Wendy tat too…so what?
    Harrellson: Yeah but it’s not Wendy, it says “WElcome to jamaica, have a Nice >b>DaY



  94. Lavrinski
    9:21 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Don’t hit me in the dong!
    Marra: Like Matt Jones, I prefer dong.



  95. Loyal_UK_Fan
    9:22 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    And now the D

    Marra: Dude, you have a tat that says Wendy?
    Siva: Yeah…My girl. Harrellson has a Wendy tat too…so what?
    Harrellson: Yeah but it’s not Wendy, it says “WElcome to jamaica, have a Nice DaY



  96. Tattoo Charlie
    9:23 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Hey Shrek get off my back



  97. TheGhostofHagginHall
    9:24 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: I wanna touch his enes



  98. big bad blue
    9:25 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva! Tell me how my ass tastes!



  99. PerryStevensonIsntWalkingThruThatDoor
    9:28 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m RICH, BIATCH!



  100. PerryStevensonIsntWalkingThruThatDoor
    9:29 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m RICH, beyotch!



  101. Tyler Durden
    9:30 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: “Terrance Jennings grabbed Deandre’s legs and got away with it. Maybe if I….”

    Marra: “My man Jorts dunked again? Ah, hell we suck.”

    Jorts: “CAPTION THIS MOTHA FUKKAAASSSS!!”



  102. HANDSOM JORTS BABBY
    9:31 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    I SQUAT FIVE, AND BENCH FOUR, SHOW ME SOME RESPECT!!!!



  103. BlueHeaven
    9:32 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: Crucifiy those anti semitic bastards!!!

    Coach: Oh Lord, I hitched my wagon to this crazy cracker?



  104. Kyle
    9:33 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Hit me in the junk all you want… I’m still gonna score
    Siva: I’m just pissed I look like a furby.
    Marra: Damn dude you do look like a furby!!! I can’t wait to throw down at a j-town house party after this…



  105. Dominator
    9:33 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva – “This Jorts kid really does play better ‘shaved'”
    Marra – “Guess he took that BTI post to a whole new level”
    Jorts – “Yeah guys it really helped me free my Enes”



  106. Edge
    9:33 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Here white boy jump off my knee.
    Harrelson: God damn Siva you cannot even do that right!
    Jones: One more step Terrance and Im gonna sleep you with this left….Jorts bet me his meal card that he could dunk!



  107. Little Known Facts
    9:35 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Imma sho’em the BBall team can dance too.. watch this ol skool break dance move!
    Marra: Hey dude.. wait your turn.
    Harrellson: I know the game is over, but don’t make it this easy!!
    Siva: Hey Bruh… basketball was so 2008. It’s Dougie Time!! I wanna be on Sportscenter somehow!!
    Marra: BUZZKILL!!



  108. The Boys
    9:35 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Mikey, I’ll hold him while you see what he has in those jorts.



  109. BlueHeaven
    9:35 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: Shake that ass Pat! Gawd I love it when you do that.

    Coach: Viagra won’t work after seeing that.



  110. Adub
    9:36 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I am amazing!!!

    Siva:I can’t believe handsome Jimmy was wearing my jersey

    Marra: Please take me out coach I told you I didn’t want to play



  111. NorthernINCat
    9:36 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: I still can’t get this John Wall dance out of my head. Is this how?

    Siva: Dude you should try the Carliton!!

    Josh: That’s my dance Beeoooches!!



  112. Her 15 Sexonds of Fame
    9:37 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “Check out my best Karen Sypher impersonation!”



  113. elstie01
    9:38 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: Father, why have you forsaken Me?
    Asst Coach: Jesus…another minor major! Better call Billy Clyde and see if he’s got some leads for next year.



  114. Catsgrad2003
    9:38 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pimps up! Ho’s down!



  115. Thewinner
    9:40 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Harrellson:watch out below, by the way FREE ENES!!!!
    Siva: just think how good they would b with enes



  116. BlueHeaven
    9:41 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Boys the round, orange thingy goes in the hole like this!



  117. BlueHeaven
    9:42 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Wow! Roasted Cardinals smells a lot like chicken.



  118. Cody4kycats
    9:47 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Josh: I hope I dont land wrong…
    Siva: Hey Rick! Hes bigger than Karen!!



  119. Bigbluedoc
    9:47 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Any of yous homos touch me ……… And I’ll kill ya !!



  120. tyler
    9:48 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    jorts: thanks enes
    siva: check out that jorts mustache!!! what a man



  121. Bigbluedoc
    9:49 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Noodle this!!



  122. Psigoglin
    9:49 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    “Mother Hen” Schooles the Baby Chicks in the “Chicken Shack” !



  123. KSR Fan
    9:49 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Bruce: Hey hot stuff, I’ve got the next couple weeks off!

    Asst: There’s no place like home…. There’s no place like home



  124. Litig8tr
    9:51 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: I think I just sharted!

    Asst.: I gotta move!



  125. cats11
    9:52 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Air Jorts.



  126. FingerLickin
    9:54 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Tho ROOSTER Rules the Roost in the “POULTRY PALACE”.



  127. ukgirl
    9:58 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: For the last freaking time that is not ME and a recruit at my house
    Asst: I knew I shouldn’t have took that picture!



  128. biscuitlips
    9:59 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    The unexpected brush against my junk gave me wood. Does that make me gay?



  129. Justin
    9:59 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    I am Iron Man!



  130. Jeff McMaine
    10:03 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: We can win this game.

    Marra: Dude, we are playing Kentucky!



  131. Carolina Blue is past tense for CAROLINA BLOWS
    10:03 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: MAMA, there goes that man again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S.O.B what do we do?



  132. wrongonpurpose
    10:04 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    See Mikey…this is why Swop is pretending to be injured!



  133. Throckmorton
    10:06 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    one UL player to the other “He can breathe up there?”.



  134. ukwildcats
    10:06 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: Do I have to show you this damn NCAA tattoo on my ass or are we going to start playing?
    Assistant: I know I just didn’t see this tattoo he was talking about…



  135. Daggumit Larry
    10:11 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Air Jorts



  136. Hard Hittin' CAT
    10:12 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Teach me how to dougie, teach me, teach me how to dougie….
    Marra: This ain’t the time and place for a dance off fool!
    Jorts: And The Lord Says ‘YOU GOTTA RISE UPAH!!!!



  137. Beetle bum
    10:12 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Serenity now!



  138. Cody4kycats
    10:13 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Is this how you do it Rick?



  139. Jortz
    10:14 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts- WAIT. HOLD UP. If I do this I’ll get my Twitter back right?

    Marra- Lemme at em!

    Siva- Dang, my elbow missed. Like my shots.



  140. ukgirl
    10:16 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I do have a tattoo on rear that say ” U of L Sucks”
    Siva: He do have it on his rear
    Marra: WoW! thats Josh Freakin Harrelson!!!



  141. the fan
    10:19 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Harrellson: “Boys, I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”
    Siva and Marra: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh



  142. ATownStomp
    10:22 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra – What are you doing Siva?
    Siva – I thought the said “Free Pen-…”
    Jorts – …and BOOM goes the dynamite!



  143. the fan
    10:23 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Harrelson: “If a mans gonna eat fried chicken, he’s gotta get greasy.”

    Siva and Marra: Look Boss! Its a plane ! a plane!



  144. Drew
    10:27 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jones: You better make it Jorts, I have stick ’em on my hands
    Jorts: I’m going to eat the basketball, and crap thunder…I’m going to be a very dangerous person
    Marra: I’m tired of the tough guy persona, he’s getting a hug when he lands
    Siva: I think I just saw the Virgin Mary in your armpit, brah



  145. badmofo
    10:32 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva- “Just to break up the monotony of this ass whipping, I wanted to show you what it’s like to be gifted.”

    Jorts- “Damn. It looks like a baby holding an apple!”



  146. Bill Bammer Nolate
    10:38 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    3- Siva He’s siscor kicking me!
    33- Marra This is the guy Gillispie kept in the stall?
    Jorts, yawning Just a normal 23 & 14.I get these all the time.



  147. cliffroy2003
    10:41 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Bruce: “IT’S JUST A BARBECUE! Corn, Beans, and Chicken. We’re goin’ on the boat with a high school prom queen later.”
    Asst: “Damn, we have to shave Scotty a Fresh Prince of Bel Air Cut so they don’t notice him”



  148. stevied
    10:43 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl : Damn, my daddy told me to never trust a fart.

    Asst. : AWW Man, not again.



  149. Mike
    10:46 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Bow down before the one one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve!
    Siva and Marra: We know…we know you say that every time.



  150. Brisk
    10:47 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Look in the sky…. It’s a bird….its a plane…..no, no it’s Super Jorts



  151. Sparkplug
    10:50 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Maybe if i make him fall, it will add more class to my team.
    Marra: Just protecting my beautiful clown face from jorts’ posertization.
    Jorts: I do work.



  152. pc3
    10:56 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl-why can’t I be suspended for the uk game. Jorts is gonna kill us. And by then enes will be freed and he’s gonna go jodie meeks on us and drop 54



  153. Lincoln Park
    10:59 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: M-Dawg, this big white dude is trying cover up my tatoos. What up wit dat yo?
    Marra: Dawg, just put ya’ hands in the air and wave em like ya just don’t care. You gotta rep, son.
    Jorts: Surprise! Lemme show you line beards some real facial hair.



  154. james roday
    10:59 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts-Yummmmmm



  155. ACKWELL FOLEY
    10:59 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Man, Jorts is doing us and he doesn’t have a bunch of tatoos or an arm sleeve?
    Marra: I got “hardwork” and “dedication” tatoos on back of my legs!
    Jorts: Hey, Marra are those spider webs on your knee’s? Not cool, you can’t rock spider web knee’s and jorts.



  156. BgEEZ
    11:06 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts:Wow seems like I’m either scoring or rebounding every 15 seconds……wait a minute thats perfectly acceptable here!



  157. CardinalHater
    11:08 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m goin all mother hen on you bitches.
    Marra (thought bubble): my god, what a close shave! He must use a Mach 3.
    Siva (thought bubble):god I hope he doesn’t “Carlton” on us too. I heard he taught John Wall how to dougie.



  158. Mike
    11:08 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: What did the cat say after he ate the cardinal?
    Siva and Marra: Duuuuh
    Jorts: YUM!



  159. KY Blue
    11:10 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: duuu, wats n edjukation?



  160. WildcatDaddy6
    11:10 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: How do my jorts taste?

    Siva and Marra: Like chicken…Yum!



  161. Al's IndiCats
    11:21 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Man you think since we suck so back we can grab a few of those Buckets
    Marra: Naw we suck so bad they’d know us anywhere. But damn I didn’t know that “Thang” he got talked, it be tell me to move out!



  162. FreeJorts
    11:24 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: We are SPARTAAAA!!!!
    Siva: I wish I could jump that high..



  163. rocky d
    11:28 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva – I cant hold him
    Mike marra – Oooohh oo my God!!
    Jennings – Hold on bra ,I’ll grab his legs
    Jones – You want some punk?



  164. Chris
    11:29 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    I’m a Rooster, hear me crow!!!



  165. RockMeLambadeus
    11:31 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Collect your Louisville Cardinals posable action figures today! Featuring Peyton Siva in his classic ‘Surfin’ Blur’ pose and Mike Marra in his ‘Geriatric Apollo Creed’ pose. Collect all 14 while supplies last! (Warning: Offer valid for 15 seconds)



  166. The Rock
    11:32 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Coach Cal- Either those Dirty Birds are the worst offensive rebounding team or Josh has gotten better.
    Jorts- Just amazing to me I can’t get a good job or way to go!
    Siva- Jorts, relax. We actually are the worst defensive rebounding team in the world.
    Marra- Yeah, good job Josh. Way to go. Now stop teabagging our teammates!



  167. ukjb22
    11:39 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Jort’s weiner just touched my arm
    Mikey: Lucky!
    Jorts: Bitches



  168. delongez
    11:41 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Squeeze that thing and get rid of it in less than fifteen seconds and you’ve done your job.



  169. delongez
    11:43 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    (Slick Rick)



  170. Coty Worley
    11:51 pm January 6, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: Peyton do you think a FREE ENES tattoo on my left bicept would make me look fat?
    Siva: Mikey i think you look good just the way you are



  171. nate dizzle
    12:04 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Dude, why’d you shave? Line beards are sexy!
    Josh: Eat my Jorts!
    Marra: I think I just got posterized!



  172. TrueBlueBlooded
    12:14 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m S O G-double-O D good!



  173. the_donger
    12:32 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    It may not be Dick in the Face, but for the high flying Jorts, Dick in the Elbow works!!!



  174. 4-8-15-16-23-42
    12:34 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: This is getting waaaayyy too easy!



  175. Nash
    12:38 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Please fasten your seatbelt. Air Jorts flight 2011 is now leaving on a non-stop flight from Lexington KY to Houston TX.



  176. FreeEnesTomorrow
    12:43 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    sosa: if i can just elbow him right below the waist,… I think I know how to stop him – – terrence jennings taught me this one.

    marra: Ahhh – – Don’t hit me in the nose!



  177. GABonez
    12:51 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Marra and Siva: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.
    Harrellson: Guess what Siva?
    Siva: What?
    Harrelson: DEEEEEZ NUTSSSSS
    Gus Johnson: Kentucky has come to the Yum! Center and they are eating good!!!!!



  178. KSRmy Of 1
    12:53 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Cal: FINISH HIM
    Harrellson: LEFT, RIGHT, DOWN, DOWN, X, O, LEFT, DOWN+SQUARE
    Mikey: WHOOPSIEE!
    Siva: (dead)
    Ref: JORTALITY!



  179. Memphis Cat
    1:01 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: Look Marra the billboard says if the team scores over 80 we get a free 6 piece of chicken from the Yum.
    Marra: I think it’s supposed to be our team.
    Jorts: AUGHHHH!!! Free-bird tonight
    TJ: Get some, 6 piece of Cardinal wings with ranch on the side to go!



  180. david ball
    1:28 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    KFC Yum! Center is a nasty anagram…typically a phrase Rick Pitino likes to hear after hours at a restaurant…

    Siva: Man, that Harrellson fella certainly has grown this year…gotta be 7’5″ now
    Marra: No, man…he’s celebrating the “Tweeting” by trying to jump out of the building
    Jorts: I shall “Tweet” that my coach is “Sweet” and I’ll clean the glass while you kiss my “feet”…praise Jesus!



  181. ray
    1:45 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    It’s so S.O. ,, J.O.R.T. JORTS.



  182. TruBlu42
    2:13 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva – Is that the Stay – Puft marshmallow man?
    Mirra – No i think it’s Free Willy…
    Harrelson – Red Bull Gives you Wings!!!



  183. Chucky
    2:37 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts says “Tweet This Silva

    Silva says “Yo man we’re playing in da chicken shack so I gots my wing on you”



  184. I shoot 4s
    2:53 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Maybe I need some Jorts
    Marra: Maybe I should get a tattoo of a hen???
    Jorts: “L” No!!!



  185. kyhawk
    3:03 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Mother hen my ass! I can fly little birdies – I can Fly!



  186. Jelley
    3:34 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Harrelson: Ow, what a hemroid!!
    Siva: Wha?



  187. REXCLAMATION POINT
    5:05 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    SIVA: Hey M! So the plan is double Jones and me rotate over to Harrellson…right?!?! Damn P be acting a fool!



  188. ukcatsfan2
    6:16 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Harrelson: Gimme Dat!



  189. Big Brother Is Here
    6:19 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: If this dude lands on me I’m finished. Hey, maybe then I won’t have to play UK any more.
    Marra: Did his arm pit just wink at me?
    Harrellson: Oh yeah! It’s lift off for the Harrell-copter.



  190. me03
    6:57 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Quick! Insane Clown Chop!



  191. UkfaninSoFla
    7:38 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl – don’t make me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry!

    Assistant: angry? Hell nobody likes you when you’re not angry



  192. catfandan
    7:50 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    both mira and siva: mabey we could trade this poster for more tats



  193. UKPhelps
    8:00 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: First John Wall, now Jorts! At least there’s the D-Leauge…
    Jorts: Cleaned shaved, white boy, denim power. I rule this chicken shack. Bagock!!!
    Marra: Hold em’ Siva, I’m going to punch his white a**!



  194. Jortsfan
    8:31 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Looks like these dirtybirds have eaten too many double downs this season.
    Siva: Damn, I didn’t ask for jorts for Christmas!
    Marra: There are still at least 15 seconds remaining in this game . . . and Pitino can accomplish a lot in that amount of time.



  195. UK guy
    8:32 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: What am I doing in the paint!?!

    Jorts: My hemorrhoids are flaring up again and they appear to resemble Siva.



  196. GummyBear
    8:36 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Mr Harrelson, sir.. will you be wanting the reach around?



  197. KING_REX
    8:40 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Hey Mike, You think they just give those KFC buckets out to fans?
    Marra: I think, but I heard they ran out.
    Jorts: Don’t worry boys, I got buckets for days!



  198. Shelbi Rene
    8:43 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Maybe I should Shave….
    Jorts: mahahhahahahhahahaha



  199. barney coulter
    8:49 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Take “tat!”



  200. Shelbi Rene
    8:55 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Tweeeeeeeet Me Biiiitches!!!!!!!!!!!



  201. Nashville Cat
    9:05 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “I believe I can fly….I believe I can touch the sky..”



  202. right said fred
    9:18 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “Eat my Jorts”



  203. Phill
    9:19 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Mara you should have just kept on doing the BMX thing…
    Marra: I am better at it. I can do a killer funky chicken, XGames baby!
    Harrelson: XGames?!? How about this game? Heres my funky chicken!



  204. CvilleWildcat
    9:39 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Look at the picture as a movie poster.

    Lord of the Rims – starring Jorts as Josh Harrellgungee
    Peyton Siva as Frodo Pantsaresaggin
    and
    Mike Marra as lanky white kid with tats

    Trailer voice-over by Ted Williams – “In his final battle with the dirty birds, Josh Harrellgungee finds his precious and makes the Chicken Palace his own Hen House!!!”



  205. ukcatsfan2
    10:00 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Gimme Dat!



  206. Cameron9
    10:01 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Hey dawg, is this the guy they call “Big Enes”?
    Marra: I’m not sure, but check out the tatoo on his back.
    Siva: This has got be “Big Enes”! I just felt it on my side!
    Marra: Dude, I am getting that same tatoo on my lower back!



  207. Fastcats007
    10:12 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: I’m gonna show Ashley Judd my O face on this lay in.
    Mikey 2fresh Marra: My ankle hurts…maybe if I woulda got a forehead tattoo of the word “block” then I coulda distracted jorts and kept it real.
    Jorts: “O” “O”
    Siva: Why am I blocking out jorts?…use the elbow, sharp like siva-ware.
    T Jones: droppin’ dimes…fightin crime!



  208. Will
    10:16 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Marra : Our tats our holding us down Dog
    Siva: Bite your tongue Whitey, I look good.



  209. tim
    10:54 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    I vote for 178.



  210. CatMania
    10:55 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: It’s a bird, It’s a plane…
    Marra: Oh my Josh, its Super Jorts!



  211. beastmode
    11:01 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    You have been Jorts!



  212. pcefrog5
    11:02 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Go down…..pump pump
    Marra: Frenchy…Frenchy
    Jorts: I call this move “Sac Lunch”. You got Served biaaaaaatches!



  213. boyfrombinghamtown
    11:03 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: “Damn it! If only he had a beard”
    Marra: “I’m only one tat short on my punch card for a free one.”



  214. jortsmode
    11:08 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    jorts: this is what you call jortsmanship…IN YO FACE..IN YO FAAAAACCCCCEEE!



  215. 78 NCAA Champions
    11:47 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: Where are the bubbles?



  216. Just saying
    11:49 am January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: @#$%^&*(#$%^&*(#@$%^&*

    Asst: Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound……



  217. gary
    12:05 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    marra: I told you he was the only one who could break our finger touch!
    siva: Shut-up you tatooed piece of white trash.



  218. FATCATFAN
    12:12 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    jorts: forget the dougie! after i dunk this i will teach you how to carlton!



  219. symphonist
    12:13 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: “See, if Karen Syphillus had turned around THIS way then Slick Rick could’ve save the extra cash needed for her “doctor appointment”.
    Siva: “True, but then 15 seconds would’ve become more like 5…”



  220. HarpDaddy
    12:15 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Harrelson: “I’m getting laid tonight fo sho.”
    Siva: “Why the f*** am I down here trying trying to block out? T. Jennings is a b*tch.”
    Marra: “I need another tattoo.”



  221. lildonniet
    12:28 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Rememeber when I was only the second most annoying and overrated hispanic player on this team…..
    Marra: Hey Jorts, you’d look at lot cooler with tats
    Jorts: JORTS SLAM!!



  222. gocats123
    12:36 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl: Oh damn!!!! they’re gonna let ENES Play!!!!!
    Asst: We are really gonna get our asses beat now!!!!!!



  223. reinle
    12:40 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jones: I’m going to the NBA
    Jorts: Me too
    Siva: not me
    Marra: Me either



  224. Yo Believo
    12:58 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Mike, help me box out!
    Marra: Did he shave?



  225. Yo Believo
    12:59 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Help me box out!
    Marra: Did he shave?



  226. uklvrbm
    1:07 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
    Siva: Don’t worry, I got your back Mike.
    Marra: Who cares, I ain’t touching him!!!!



  227. Blueballs
    1:56 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Marra: We can’t block him out, try holding him down
    Siva: I wish I could jump like John Wall
    Jorts: SYPHER THIS!



  228. Columbia Cat
    2:22 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Siva: Jorts farts sound like baloney wind chimes!
    Mickey 2: Get your ear out of his ass!
    Jorts : Bahahaha!



  229. Jeff
    2:30 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    LEG AND GIZZARDS YUM



  230. Enes
    2:54 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    jorts: wow good rebounding Louisville. Don’t get to far off the ground….



  231. Chilly D
    3:15 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    The 3rd Street Chickenhawks eventually figured out that letting Harrelson dunk was the only way to keep him from getting another rebound.



  232. Cameron9
    3:35 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts: They should rename the Yum Center the “Cum Bucket”
    because I just exploded all inside it.



  233. Greg Hilbert
    3:59 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Pearl says “Jesus H Christ son! You rebound like your freakin momma. I swear I’m about to go Gilbert Freakin Gottfried on your ass!!!”
    Assistant says as he turns away “Man that Mexican food from puta madres is killing us in more ways than one. PHEEEEW!”



  234. ukman1
    4:15 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: It’s a bird!!!! Marra: It’s a plane!!!!! Jorts: IT’S SUUUUUUPER JOOOOOOOORTS



  235. martinbluther
    8:29 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Silva: It’s like guarding a freaking Ent! If Ents could jump, and shoot the three. Ents are pretty cool, though. They kicked Sauruman’s ass. Crap, if I don’t move he could break my thigh.

    Marra: He flies over me
    Should I wince and cower now
    I fear the poster

    Jorts: (thinking) If I scream “Tweet!” every time I dunk here, will they misconstrue it as a Twitter reference instead of a Cardinal reference? Nah, better go with “YuM!” Hey, if Silva doen’t move I might break his thigh.



  236. ChickenPlucker
    9:35 pm January 7, 2011 Permalink

    Three Point Favorite My A$$ !!



  237. mooseknuckles
    10:05 pm January 8, 2011 Permalink

    JORTS: I THOUGHT SCORING ON SAMANTHA RYAN WAS EASY.



  238. mooseknuckles
    12:15 am January 9, 2011 Permalink

    Harrellson: I thought scoring on Samantha Ryan was easy.