Few people know this, but I’ve long been associated with the candy bar industry. Mars, Hershey and Nestle all depend upon me to help market their products in the Central Kentucky area. It’s not a glamorous job, what, with people accusing me of making their children fat incessantly. But I’m here this morning to announce a new candy bar marketing campaign involving a lot of former and current Wildcat stars. And since I’m quite partial to you readers of KSR, I thought I would let you all in on these before anyone else. Most commercials will be played on PBS during “Kentucky Newsmakers” and also on NBC during the Olympic curling competition. Here’s what you have to look forward to:
—Tony Delk, well known for his performances during the magic ’96 run, is the best-known Wildcat to wear #00. I’m sure you can still hear Rupp’s PA guy screaming “At guard, double-oh, Tony Delk!” It is for this reason Tony will be hawking this numerical candy bar.
–How do you say his name? Azuboo-kie? Azuboo-kay? Abu-zookie? Whatever it is, Kelenna is happy to be endorsing something as equally difficult to say.
–I think we all know who will be endorsing this product.
–Before John Wall came along, Rajon Rondo was leading the Cats on the break. Despite conflicts with Tubby Smith, Rondo gave Kentucky fans a glimpse at what they’d been asking for- up tempo basketball. That’s why Rajon has signed on to promote a popular Reese’s bar.
–What else would Dan Issel, Kentucky’s all-time leading scoring want to hawk? These, of course.
—Antwain Barbour, who came to the Cats out of junior college, was supposed to be a game changer. Many thought he could jump straight the the League, but decided on UK instead. Unfortunately, he never lived up to the hype and reluctantly decided to endorse these for some extra cash.
–Anyone remember Jason Parker? He who led a very bizarre career at UK once tore an ACL prior to Midnight Madness in the locker room. His fragility caused him to agree to a small endorsement deal with this popular chocolate bar.
–Finally, there was one man that transcended UK basketball. A confidant, mentor and advisor to 6 UK coaches, sat sidelines for scores of championships and impacted each and every person he met. In the context of candy, Mr. Bill should be remembered as this.
So there you have it. Who knew UK basketball and candy were so synonymous? Are there any other combinations out there I should be aware of for my, um, research?