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Camp Cal Checklist

With classes and exams over, it’s time for the Cats to eat, drink, and sleep basketball. Over the next few weeks, the players will enter the toughest stages of “Camp Cal,” a rigorous schedule of 7 a.m. workouts and up to three practices a day. To help them prepare, here’s a checklist of things they should bring to camp this week.


Outside voices – Campers are encouraged to communicate throughout the day, especially during team activities. Good communication leads to better teamwork, which leads to a more cohesive performance on the floor. Those who are particularly vocal will receive one gold star at the end of the day. (Five gold stars gets you a tupperware of brownies from Mrs. Cal). Note: this excludes muttering under your breath.

Throat lozenges – See above. While you’re at it, bring extras for Cal.

Extra socks – Remember Lieutenant Dan’s wise words: socks “can be the difference between a live grunt and a dead grunt.” When in doubt, ask “WWBKD” (What Would Bill Keightly Do?).

Towel – No one wants to slip on a sweaty floor.

Water – Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

Basketball – Meet your new best friend.


Entertainment – No phones, laptops, Gameboys or iPads will be allowed at Camp Cal. In addition, anyone caught watching “Spongebob Squarepants” will be immediately removed from the building. Those who still have Twitter accounts will be asked to refrain from tweeting during camp hours.

Pillow – The Joe Craft Center is a no-chill zone, so don’t get too comfortable. #TeamNoSleep

Watch – By the end of the week, you probably won’t want to know how much time you’ve spent in the gym.

Excuses – Only good for running suicides.

Last week, Ryan Harrow won “Camper of the Week” after an impressive performance against Lipscomb. Who will step up this go around?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

18 Comments for Camp Cal Checklist

  1. don of dons
    2:02 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink


  2. bloobloodcat
    2:08 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Tell Harrow to stop vomiting, it is probably why he lost so much weight.

  3. Burrr
    2:14 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Archie is gonna be Camper of the Week this week

  4. bill of bills
    2:15 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink


  5. Biglaw Dawgin'
    2:19 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Add icebaths to that list. A must for two-a-days.

    Aside – It’d be cool to find out what the team is doing during these practices. Eg. Conditioning drills in the AM, strength training in the afternoon, plays during evening session, etc. It’d be REALLY cool to see an actual schedule with the drills and stuff they’re doing listed (not that anyone would want to do them at home, but you know, still cool).

  6. Thinker
    2:19 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Do my farts stink?

  7. Chris
    2:31 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Just a friendly note TT: On the description after entertainment you put “coach cal” where you should have put “camp cal.” Might want to change that before people come on here and start criticizing you like they normally do.

  8. hugh jorgan
    2:33 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    and make sure you leave your feelings in your room

  9. Joe Mama
    2:40 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Loved last game for one reason, we won, all the players were happy and the ballhog Goodwin didn’t get his. Hope this opens his eyes to the fact there is a whole team of players.

  10. Big Whoop
    2:52 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    I hope Cal gets Alex’s head screwed on right. He is the only one who has not responded to Cal’s coaching.

    2:53 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    That is three reasons , but I agree we looked more like a team without Archie trying to do to much.

  12. Student Manager
    3:43 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    If they bring the items on the checklist (besides their voice), I lose my job. And I really like having a seat at the end of the bench every game.

  13. Ughhhh
    3:59 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    This is awful and not humorous. How did you ever get a job here?

  14. Joe
    4:08 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    This is awful and not humorous. How did you ever get a job here?

    Please submit 3-5 media samples of your humour work, video, writings, cuneiform tablets, or the like to Matt. I’m sure there is a spot for you on the staff.

  15. Camper Drew
    4:18 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    Forget Mrs. Cal’s Brownies, I want some of that salad she makes.

  16. Ummmkay?
    4:21 pm December 17, 2012 Permalink

    15 – maybe he doesn’t want to write posts here. If I dislike a movie, that doesn’t mean I want to be a director/producer/whatever. Someone can dislike something without wanting to replace that person. Get over yourself.

  17. theWilkman
    10:44 am December 18, 2012 Permalink

    You know 15’s an ass because he spelt it “humour”