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BTI’s Rants and Ramblings: Guess who’s back!!!!!!

Michael-Jordan-Im-Back-fax

 

Similar fax sent to offices of Matt Jones in Middlesboro yesterday.

Well, well, well, we meet again.  Although I would imagine for many of you, we are meeting for the first time.  Considering this website has blown up even larger than when I left 18 months ago, I’ve got to wonder how much I held this site down.  But nonetheless, that is not important.  What IS important is how much I am going to drag the site down from here on out.  And the answer to that question is A LOT.  I figure I should really address 2 different groups of people about my return, those who are long-term followers of the site, and those who have gotten on board in the last year or so.  First up, the newbies:

New readers, for this site’s purposes, I go by Bryan the Intern.  My last name isn’t that important, but for many of you it is what you smoked on Friday night.  Now, when determining a person’s intelligence, I usually split people into 2 groups: those who think I am actually an intern and those that don’t.  I wrote for this site for FOUR YEARS.  I worked with Matt on 2 different radio shows.  I am almost 28 years old.  If you think I am actual intern, well, sorry for you.  Now that we have that out of the way, what kind of posts do I make?  Well, I am a bit of a numbers overload guy, or as most people call it, a nerd.  I’m going to throw stats broken down in all kinds of ways at you.  I’m going to try and prove things you never thought could be proven and make you think outside the box.  But most of all, I am going to piss you off like you couldn’t believe.  I don’t do it on purpose, I am just THAT guy.  I’m a pessimist and I love to argue.  Meaning I’m not always going to prop up the home team.  Sometimes things are not so great, and I’m not afraid to say so.  I also love sports outside of the UK world as much as inside Catsville.  If you don’t think “why soccer sucks” or “why hockey is awesome” belongs on this site, then you’re going to find me just horrible.  But I think even my most beloved detractors will tell you that even if you hate me with a passion more than any other writer, I usually make you want to read what I have next.  I try and make you think, nothing more, nothing less.  Hate it after you think, but at least think.

For the old time readers, I’M BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK.  Hahahahahaha.

Most all of that above is sarcasm.  I really enjoyed my first 4 years here at KSR, and I’m very excited to be back.  I took the time off to try some new things in my career, get some stability, and I’ve done that.  And I think I’m coming back to the site at an exciting time with a new era in football beginning in just a couple months, and a potentially epic basketball team.  I hope you would make 9am a must-see spot on this site, but if not, it’s cool.  I’m sure there are countless “BTI Sucks” support groups you can join.

Oh, and a couple things you need to be prepared for:

  1. Bad Spelling
  2. Bad Punctuation
  3. Bad Humor
  4. Lots of bolding

If you’re cool with that, then I’m cool with you.  Thanks for the tweets and messages I already received before even writing again.  And if you want to follow me on Twitter, my handle thingy whatever is @BryantheIntern.

Article written by Bryan the Intern

85 Comments for BTI’s Rants and Ramblings: Guess who’s back!!!!!!



  1. Jax Teller
    9:01 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI sucks!!



  2. Dumbledore
    9:04 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    We’ve had ample time to sharpen our hate and mockery. You’re in for it now.



  3. e
    9:05 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI sucks balls



  4. RichmondRob
    9:06 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    You’ve managed to write an entire article about nothing. Congrats



  5. JShotRx
    9:06 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI sucks



  6. Wildcatfan79
    9:07 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Glad your back BTI!!! Just no bachelor post and were all good!



  7. The Water Boy
    9:07 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    ugh… I feel like someone just pissed in my Frosted Flakes.



  8. rainingblood
    9:09 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Damn I fought I was dumb.



  9. awesome
    9:09 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI SUX!!
    But seriously as much as I hate BTI’s posts, I love them an equal amount.
    Welcome back.



  10. bilhelm
    9:09 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI SUCKS! (welcome back)



  11. aborted pitinos
    9:09 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Missed you like a case of the clap… Glad you’re back ya bunghole!!!



  12. Jeff Garlin
    9:10 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI is back and still sucks!



  13. E-LOY VAR-GAS
    9:11 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI sucks, but really…what happened to the dude who took over 9am when you left? Did he get canned? Moved to the “weekend shift”?



  14. JoeMoney333
    9:12 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI has a high pressure differential!



  15. ktmiln2
    9:13 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Your last name is Angel Dust?



  16. Better
    9:15 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI SUCKS!!!!

    For real though, the 9am spot hasn’t been the same. Those other guys are too likeable.



  17. jaxcats8503
    9:16 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I’m one of the long-time KSR readers he is referring to. Let me tell you, no matter how much you think BTI sucks, he’s light years ahead of Corey Nichols. Thanks for coming back BTI!



  18. brody
    9:23 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    No silly post ( putting it nicely ) for real if there is nothing to write about don’t waste our time just a post that when I’m done reading it I go “WTF” I just wasted 2 min of my life on this crap.just saying….welcome back azz hole.



  19. this is great
    9:23 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Great, phase 1 complete.

    Now we need to devise a plan to get Dustin R to come back and replace Ally… and then a pair of my dirty socks to replace Kristen G….
    TT is fine..
    then we’re back to the promise land.



  20. king cat
    9:24 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI “”EXISTS””???



  21. Bulldawg
    9:24 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI, you SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, you are a step up from Corey (I think I’m clever) Nichols. Welcome back nerd!!!!!!



  22. Rockfield, KY
    9:24 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I generally like the writers that love to piss the readers off, but for the sake of celebration, “BTI Sucks”



  23. BTI Sucks
    9:24 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome Back!



  24. FakeJ-ROCK
    9:24 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome back dawg,..but you SUUUCK!!!



  25. Catlanta
    9:26 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI Sucks!



  26. Frew Drunklin
    9:28 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    KSR must be desperate to bring this chotch back.



  27. CatsFanInKnoxville
    9:35 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I would like to take a second to thank you for helping me win tickets from Matt and GuyOnTheCorner to the Champions Classic last year in Atlanta. The phrase that pays from the first show on 1080 made it possible, and you made the phrase that pays possible by sucking! Seriously, welcome back.



  28. Brah
    9:36 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Are you saying you are the Jerry Tipton of KSR?



  29. Smoov
    9:37 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Eff yea youre back!!!!!

    BTI sucks!



  30. Jeremy
    9:37 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    So you name is Bryan Foolslikeyouonthebballcourt?

    BTI Sucks



  31. Doc
    9:38 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I heard a great member of the old crew was back, but I don’t see Turkey Hunter or Fake Gimel anywhere.



  32. Hartline
    9:40 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    HE IS BACK! LET THE HATE BEGIN!



  33. Axe Cop
    9:43 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    HATE HATE HATE! I gotta go put water in BTI’s momma’s bowl.



  34. Go Deep
    9:44 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    This is sadly, your best post ever……



  35. Nick
    9:44 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    This is how every long time KSR reader feels today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHh0rf0ojEc



  36. downcline
    9:45 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    As long as it means Corey is gone…until we remember how bad BTI sucks



  37. Eight Letters
    9:46 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Yea!!! He’s Back….and he still sucks!!!



  38. Walden Schmidt
    9:47 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Missed you like I would a bleeding hemoroid.



  39. Ben in Chattanooga
    9:48 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome back BTI, and I would also like to add…you still suck.



  40. Fire BTI
    9:49 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    ” I took the time off to try some new things in my career, get some stability, and I’ve done that.” aka I got fired from the other career I was pursuing and begged Matt for my job back.



  41. BIG MONEY ROB
    9:57 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI you sick S.O.B. I spit my energy drink all over my Mac. I knew you’d be back, more importantly I’m happy you’re back.

    You still suck.



  42. ukbluek
    9:59 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    this could wind up being the most commented post in history. also BTI sucks.



  43. BTI Sucks
    10:03 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    With all due respect… now remember I said with all due respect… I am pretty sure I felt a little part of me die with this news. Must remind myself not to read bad analogies at the 9 a.m. spot. Others rants were pointless, but they are not trying to make a point. BTI thinks he is on to something and doesn’t realize the complete lack of connection he is making. With that said… welcome back ole chum.



  44. CATandMONKEY
    10:05 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI Sucks. Welcome back.



  45. bosshog
    10:07 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I think we’re all glad that you failed, were fired, contracts not renewed at whatever you were doing….so you could come back here just in time for the 2013-14 season. You didn’t miss much…and you arrived back just in time. So, I guess there is one thing that you can do well!



  46. JW
    10:11 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    your last name is dick?



  47. CN
    10:11 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    You suck, but not nearly the amount of Corey Nichols suck. That guy must have something on all the other writers to have lasted past a month.



  48. Musehobo
    10:14 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
    Now we can all look forward to more posts with stats taken out of context. And are you getting paid? If not, you’re still an intern.



  49. Chicago Chris
    10:19 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    … and apparently use of Comic Sans.



  50. Corey?
    10:36 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    So does that mean Corey Nichols has been fired?



  51. Bluemister
    10:44 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI…welcome back…I didn’t read your post…only skimmed it…but…I could tell…IT SUCKED!



  52. joe
    10:53 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I can’t wait for the first round of BTI posts:

    1 – What UK players are the worst in history? Maybe I’ll have a tourney to decide!!

    2 – [Blithering nonsense with numbers]

    3 – Which 18-22 year olds can I make feel the worst?

    4 – What are the most embarrassing things UK players have ever done?

    5 – [Blithering nonsense with numbers]



  53. joe
    10:54 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    To be clear, you literally suck. That’s not a humorous welcome



  54. BTI Fan
    10:56 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I love the amount of suckiness BTI brings to this site. Welcome back!



  55. BTI's Girlfriend
    11:11 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Don’t listen to them!!! Great job, boo.



  56. Gridiron_Cat
    11:21 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome back BTI.



  57. Women Everywhere
    11:31 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about. The names have all changed since you hung around, but those dreams have remained and they’ve turned around. Who’d’ve thought they’d lead you back here where we need you? Yeah, we tease him a lot ’cause we’ve got him on the spot, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back welcome back.
    Of course if you are 28 you have no idea what this is from.



  58. TrailerTrash
    11:32 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    “Bryan Fat Bowl.” Weird.



  59. BTI's Boyfriend
    11:33 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Who the heck is this girlfriend?



  60. UKnowMe
    11:48 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI sucks! But at least he is better than Corey.



  61. Smiley Pete
    11:52 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    The only thing that could make me miss BTI was Corey taking over the 9am posts.



  62. Chris
    11:53 am May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Welcome Back!! Wasnt here that much 18 months ago but it sounds like u may be much needed .. Too many fans on here are like insanely positive (meaning if u say something like,” the baseball team has really been disappointing this year”) like half the people on here call u a hater or troll.. I look forward to realistic sports opinions



  63. Awesome....
    12:42 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I wasn’t around for the first time you were on here but apparently you suck, you’re sarcastic, and you’re an Asshole. So basically you’re ANOTHER NJT to piss and moan and make really unfunny posts. Awesome…… Fan F*in Tastic!



  64. JDH
    12:42 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Glad to see you’re back, BTI! By the way…you SUCK!!!



  65. jengland
    12:48 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    …almost 28 years old…why not go with 27 and a half like my 4 year old nephew



  66. Ridge Runner
    12:49 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Is this (BTI Sux) a dream? Nah, it (BTI Sux) can’t ne a dream. Ya think (BTI Sux) perhaps it is?

    Welcome back BTI



  67. WhenTheAngelsWinThePennant
    12:50 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Oh happy day (oh happy day)
    Oh happy day (oh happy day)
    When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
    When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
    When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
    He washed corey away



  68. Dee
    12:57 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! (In the rock’s voice)…..FINALLY!!!!!!! BTI is BAAACK….TO SHOW EVERYONE…HOW TO SUCK…….Like a CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!…



  69. Dee
    12:57 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    67…AMEN!



  70. Dee
    1:02 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I don’t know if this is a statement of my life….but…This has literally made my MONDAY awesome….I honest to goodness got a Frog in my throat….and my eyes got a little blurry…When the reality set in….Welcome back….HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.



  71. Ross Perot
    1:13 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I heard that huge sucking sound coming out of Kentucky, and could only think of one thing… Welcome back!



  72. STEVE!
    1:17 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Glad you’re back, but you forgot to list “poor math skills” in your list of things to be prepared for. A “couple of things” would be two, but you listed four.



  73. True Story
    1:31 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    WB BTI!



  74. Congrats
    1:44 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Good job on being almost 28 years old. So does that make you 27.8 or 25 or still an intern?



  75. FridayNight
    1:55 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Your last name is meth?



  76. HugoCabrera
    2:22 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    So, who is running Maggard’s bar in Mexico?



  77. Ciudad de Gordos
    2:28 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Don’t worry Bryan, you won’t stand out anymore since there are so many other garbage writers on the site now. Thanks for giving me a reliable outlet to release my hate every morning again!



  78. Tooblueforyou
    3:58 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    You suck, gtfo



  79. VinnyCent
    4:07 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    I missed this guy.



  80. Ruppeat Offender
    5:14 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Oh, FFS. What a dillhole. BTI sucks – and I don’t say that in a welcome back/slap on the back kind of way. He really sucks and I truly hate that he’s back. It’s one more post I have to skip to keep from having my day ruined – just like every KSR College post. He’s not the Jerry Tipton of KSR – he’s the Merlene Davis of KSR. Bringing him back might honestly sink the ship.



  81. kentuckyjoe
    6:06 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    Great to have you back BTI. You were missed. Looking forward to your posts.



  82. CalifCatFan
    6:26 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI back?!?! Nothing like a BTI post in the morning to start my hate day. I missed you, little fellow. Glad you’re back.



  83. haha
    7:25 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    At least we don’t have to see Corey’s 9 am posts anymore



  84. TT's Fake Boobs and Rat Face
    8:49 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    BTI….Welcome back!!!



  85. Poop is cool by me
    10:29 pm May 20, 2013 Permalink

    So you’re telling me your last name is black cox?