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BREAKING NEWS: KSR extends contract offer to Pete Thamel


The following statement was just released through PR Firm Lentz, Campbell and Thompson:

With speculation running rampant about the status of the current relationship, Kentucky Sports Radio confirmed today that they have indeed extended a contract to New York Times sportswriter Pete Thamel, once considered a nemesis of the site’s staff and readers.

“While we have spent much energy and dedicated thousands of words to the failings of reporting inaccuracies of Mr. Thamel in the past year,” KSR founder Matt Jones said Wednesday morning, “We can no longer deny the obvious.  He was made for KSR and KSR was made for him.  It’s as if fate brought us together as forcefully and beautifully as Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.”

Jones added that Thamel’s Wednesday New York Times article about Duke point guard Kyrie Irving, which noted that Kentucky was upset by Miami of Ohio last year – Thamel’s fourth factual mistake regarding the Cats in about a year- was what finally encouraged him to break the stalemate between the parties and ushered in an era of potential partnership.  Jones’ successor as managing editor of the site, Thomas Beisner, agreed and noted that Thamel’s addition could take Kentucky Sports Radio to a new level.

“We like to think we have the market cornered on mistakes,” Beisner said.  “For a long time, Bryan the Intern was the face of the misspelling and horrible opinions on the internet and that is what helped us become the most trusted site on the internet for mistakes.  But this market is changing drastically and factual errors are becoming more en vogue.  People have lost interest in typos and the whole ‘they’re, there, their’ thing.  They want you to be blatantly wrong. I’ve tried to step it up a bit in my short tenure with KSR, throwing in a wrong fact here or there – not the kind that changes the story, just the kind that makes you angry – but it’s clear that other media outlets are catching us.  By adding Pete, we’re sending the message that we intend to remain as error-prone as ever.”

No formal agreement has been reached yet, but Jones and Beisner said that they feel their emails to Thamel, which were typed in Turkish, seem to be met with interest from the Thamel camp and they are optimistic they can work out a deal soon.

Article written by Thomas Beisner

42 Comments for BREAKING NEWS: KSR extends contract offer to Pete Thamel

  1. kyrobman
    12:45 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    He is a moron above all.

  2. Blue-Tinted Reality
    12:45 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I’m ready for Not Pete Thamel.

  3. MIT
    12:45 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Boom. Roasted.

  4. CatsFanInKnoxville
    12:46 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I can’t believe it…he actually revised the article, removed the error, and then noted that a previous version of the article existed where he said that Miami (OH) upset KY last year. In true Thameltoe fashion, he should have just revised it, and not mentioned the revision like he did with the Kanter story.

  5. Dead Horse
    12:46 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I actually thought I landed on an archived page from my browser history by mistake. What’s next, an article about Lucas and Patterson?

  6. Anonymous Ted Danson
    12:48 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great stuff once again…….

  7. Tubby's gopher
    12:50 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    My sources have reported that Pete will join forces with the good doctor at the LHL. Can you confirm this as fact?

  8. Mega Nun
    12:51 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Thamel would be a welcomed addition to the team. Anyone with his qualification and track record would be the envy of the journalistic world and cement KSR as a respected presence nationally.

    Bravo! Well played I can’t wait for Thamel’s first post.

  9. me
    12:56 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    This is great, we need a bad guy to stir the pot, just like in the WWF, I mean the WWE.
    You are a genius Matt!

  10. The Scarlet Pumpernickle
    12:58 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    He just looks like a douche.

  11. Matt Jones
    12:59 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Haha brilliant

  12. SexnNursinHomes
    1:04 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    hahaha- good work. This is why KSR rocks. Love it.

    pete thammel sucks

  13. Beavis
    1:05 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    “He’s an a**hole.” – Marty McFly, Back to the Future Part III

  14. Blue Bayou
    1:06 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I agree #2. Maybe with the turkish word of the day/week

  15. Alan Cutler's Fart
    1:06 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Forget Tarzan, someone needs to put a video up of Tar-Jorts.

  16. The Real Hambone
    1:07 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    SnNH… still an idiot.

  17. BPsycho
    1:09 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    #5 I hope! I’m tired of waiting. If we can get Patterson “and” Lucas we will be final 4 bound for sho.

  18. NotPeteThamelNYT
    1:12 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Jimmy Dykes reports last night during Kentucky game that Freshman point guard Brandon Knight has gpa of 4.3, an evident case of grade changing. After the game Coach Calipari, who has vacated multiple final fours after recruiting questionable players similar to Knight, said of his star point guard, “He… doesn’t… know… how… to… play… Brandon works very hard… to change… his grade…. after… the…. fact.”

  19. SexnNursinHomes
    1:13 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    16- full of great compliments. Appreciate the kind words. Real Hambone you are the true Marlboro Man of American Patriotism.

  20. SeoulCat
    1:15 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Hi-freaking-larious. Bravo guys, bravo!

  21. CalifCatFan
    1:16 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Now that is some funny stuff, Mr. Breisner.

  22. knightynight
    1:18 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Can someone that has espn insider please post the article on John Wall on here please? Thanks!

  23. TheGuyPitinoForgotToPayToGetFreshFishAtPorchinis
    1:19 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    After reading this, Pete’s boss calls him into the ofice…

    “Pete, are you just dumb? Please don’t take offense to that. It’s a serious question.

    Your mom has done everything (and I mean everything) she can to get you on the payroll here but this is the New York Times not Louisville Basketball.”

  24. Wheelz
    1:26 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    we need a blogger called Not Pete Thamel lol

  25. Jeff
    1:27 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

  26. unclekyle
    1:31 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Didn’t think KSR could go any lower than BTI, Thameltoe would take this site to levels of douchebaggness

  27. Janet Jackson's Boob
    1:32 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

  28. NotPeteThamel
    1:33 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    In other news today, the Kentucky Wildcats entire 2011 recruiting class will take part in the McDonald’s All-American game. Sources indicate Calipari paid the McDonalds corporation an undisclosed amount of money in order to get all of his players in the game. A spokesmen for the game was quoted as saying, “Kentucky paid McDonalds money for players to play in our game.” Kentucky is coming off a tough 3 game losing streak to Mississippi, Florida and Tennessee and has already forfeited the rest of the season in anticipation of NCAA violations which will result in the 2010-2011 season being vacated.

  29. Al's IndiCats
    1:37 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    It’s been confirmed…..Pat Forde and Pete Thamel are one of the same. How it was discovered, In his weekly “Table Chat” with Forde coach Rick Pitina noticed a large wart on the top of Fordes head while looking down, thinking that it may have been dirt, the coach yanked hard enough on it to only find it was Petey Thamel in a mask. Tom Jurich will not be giving interviews to anyone, or until the CJ Times get Rick Bosich to verify all parties involved.

  30. douggercats
    1:56 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    You had me at ‘douche’.

  31. Boogiewoogie
    1:58 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    How does this dude still have a job? He writes for the New York Freakin’ Times for God’s sake and he can’t spend 5 seconds to look up a basketball score? I guess his hatred for the Cats has made him attempt to revise history.

  32. chris gettelfinger's 1 fan
    2:13 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Thomas Dewey, the 33rd President of the United States, was really proud of his legislation known as the Dewey Doctrine. It is credited with transforming Turkey into the great democracy that is today. However, there is a growing opposition that is lead by Dr. Mehmet Kanter, father of Kentucky basketball recruit Enes Kanter.

    In a face-face interview, Dr. Kanter told me that “God is Great & death to all infidels.” “I have sent my seventh son to the US to set-up a terrorist sleeper cell at the University of Kentucky” said Dr. Kantor. “However, you & that meddling Mark Emmert ferreted-out my intentions & thus foiled my plan.” People I hope you realize how lucky you are to have me protecting you & preserving the American way of life. Pete Thamel

  33. deer boss
    2:17 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    31…without inciting a riot….the ny times has a long history of such behavior.

  34. ThankfulCat
    2:29 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    If KSR is looking for a “Head Douche Bag”, then Thamel is your man.

  35. Huh
    2:40 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I knew Beisner breaking the story that the former Trinity star was leaving OSU for Ky was the sign that Beisner was flipped to Thamelism.MJ say goodbye to your baby it’s about to implode.

  36. Lexingtonistan
    2:43 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    More politics, less sports, please.

  37. josh
    2:59 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    That was GOLD! Nice job TB.

  38. Bundy
    3:20 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    lol, that’s funny.

  39. XryanX
    4:00 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Great stuff comment 32. The streets will flow with the blood of the non believers!
    Solid pick up with Pete!
    Get this deal done ksr!

  40. Skinman
    4:10 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    It’s stuff like this that makes this site so great.

  41. JEREMY
    4:21 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    Thamel Toe….lol

  42. jackblue
    5:03 pm February 9, 2011 Permalink

    I love it Beisner, why stop there , before Mitch’s raise and extension I was thinking maybe we could hire Emmert for AD, its difficult finding a bigger asshole than him to do the job, Jurich is overqualified.