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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

BLOGGER Contest: Will Lentz Interviews Alan Cutler


This round of the Blogger Contest involves the contestants interviewing a media personality. Will Lentz is up today and talked to WLEX’s Alan Cutler

When you start your life off as a freelance blogger in a faux reality show blogging competition, you can really only begin to dream about opportunities like this. From the moment I saw that I might have a chance to interview The Alan Cutler, I started throwing every lucky penny I had into the local wishing well (The Fish Tank.) Lo and behold, Matt Jones gave me a gift from gods. My very own, one on one interview with the Cutman (track shoes not included.)

The following is a trimmed transcript of our interview, with my questions bolded, and my thoughts italicized. If it helps, imagine me chasing him for the entirety of the interview (which is how I choose to remember it going down, honestly.)

On the football season:

What are the three big stories for this year’s UK football team? And no matter what comes with this football season, will it be enough to placate the common fan, with basketball looming so large?

Placate the fans? Each individual sport goes on its own merit, and when one team has a bad year, people look forward to the next. I mean, there’s a carryover effect, but I don’t think it’s that great. As far as the three biggest stories, that would have to be Quarterback, Quarterback, Quarterback. I’m sorry, what were you saying? I was busy following Erin Calipari on Facebook.

Well, speaking of that, do you see Hartline starting all 12 games? Yes, I stole this question from the KSR side bar.

I can’t tell, and the problem is, I’m not being wishy washy. First of all, we can’t see practice, the second thing is we can’t see practice. And the third thing is, well, we can’t see practice. I don’t know! I don’t have any idea. I only see one problem with this answer. The first is that you used that joke already. The second is… you used that joke already. The third, well, the third is Quarterback.

Is this Rich Brooks Last year?

No. Unless something happens in his life to change it. I’m the one that broke the story in June, before media days, about him coaching through this next recruiting class. One, when he says he’s taking it year by year, people take it the wrong way. And two, I don’t know how much you’ve talked to him, but he’s a pretty feisty guy. Not to be disagreeable, but I think there may be some tomatoes in his garden that might question the word, ‘feisty.’

Joker wanted me to ask you this; will we ever see the offense successfully run a bubble screen?

Joker asked you to ask me this? That was a joke, Alan… Oh, I thought maybe he was pulling a prank on me. You know, I’m trying to remember, was it Indianapolis that ran a bubble screen? I think he was watching Tamme play, and he tweeted out the fact that the bubble screen can really work. Well, the bubble screen will work, when the guards can get down screen and knock some people on their wallets. Doug Gottlieb for offensive guard!

On the basketball season:

I had a friend of mine crunch the numbers, and he says UK has about a 99% chance to win the title this year. What happens in that odd one percent? That is, what’s going to stop Cousins from slitting throats like the Joker?

I dunno, really, it depends on the matchups and who they are playing. What has happened is Kentucky is now back in with a small, elite group that has a chance to win it every year. The people that are saying final four or bust, or we’re gonna win the national championship, they have no idea. Because I have no idea. What you can say is that Kentucky is honestly and legitimately back in the hunt with a small group of teams. That in itself is a major change. And after that whatever happens, happens.

If Coach Cal does pull a Tubby, and wins it all in his first year, do you see that becoming an issue the way it did with Smith? That is, do you think Cal will stay hungry?

Well I think Tubby was hungry. Here’s a misnomer about Tubby, you might not have liked the end results of his recruiting, but when it comes down to it, he wasn’t lazy. He spent a lot of time with Hansbrough, for example. Hansbrough didn’t want to play for him; he wanted to play North Carolina’s style. He wasn’t lazy with Hansbrough, and he wasn’t lazy with Brandan Wright either. I know that Tubby thought he had both of them. You don’t think Pitino missed on kids? Pitino? Missed? KIDS? No, I will not. I have far too much integrity to make a joke like that. Nice try Alan.

Who am I kidding, you can’t miss what you never had! HIYO!

After the monotony of Tubby, and the mediocrity (at best) of Gillispie, is there any way that Calipari fails in Lexington?

I mean, anything is possible. I will be shocked if Cal fails. Based upon my expectations. There are people that think he should go to four final fours in the next eight years, and if he doesn’t do that, he has failed. I don’t believe that.

If he does, though, are your running shoes ready?

Well, I still have a lot more weight to lose, and, if I lose 15 or 20 pounds, you can tell Cal I’m coming for him.

On Kentucky Sports Radio:

What is your impression of Matt Jones?

I like Matt. Matt has grown, as the site has grown. To Matt’s credit, he’s basically done something on his own as a renegade. Maverick! And he’s kind of been a little like the beginnings of ESPN. Whereas he’s becoming established, and he wasn’t established when he started. Somewhere, Matt Jones just went up a few headband sizes.

Matt has said numerous times that he is giving the site up in two years; if he asked you to take over, what exactly would you tell him? Don’t hold back.

First of all, no one with a contract is gonna say… Right, right. Well, you’d have to tell me, why would I leave my television job to take over the site? And… lemme check… yep, there goes the joke. Complete miss. See ya later joke. First of all, I don’t see it happening. Second of all, the truth is, it’s Matt’s site. I’ll believe it when I see it, that Matt’s leaving. That’s not a shot against Matt, but the site has become a big part of him. He’s not going to ask me to take over the site. Well not after this, he’s not.

Who is your favorite blogger contestant? This is where you say my name.

I’ll be honest, I read you guys, you were the early pick for me, but I don’t really follow your name. Oh lord, joke two, out the window. Tell the other one I miss it, when you meet up in Neyland Stadium. Where all the jokes go to hang out.

How many hours do you read online in a day?About three or four. Do you follow every writer that you read when you’re online? No, I guess not. Okay, then why would you expect me to? And, I hate to burst your ego. Here’s the funny part, people tease me that I have a big ego, and I do. No problem. So do most other people, but they just can’t admit it. I just got you. In a friendly way. I hope you took it the right way. That’s it, I officially hate Alan Cutler.

On Alan Cutler:

I remember where you yelled out the first media day question last year to Billy Gillispie, something to the effect of “WHO PLAYS THE POINT?” If you could sit down with Calipari right now, what is the one question you might yell at him?

Actually I already had that chance. I asked him the three people in the world he’d like to have dinner with. Do you remember what he said? Do I remember? One was Abe Lincoln. Of course. I can imagine that tweet. “Hey guys, just with Ol Abe, going to the theater. Should I give him a Jersey, too?” One was his family, reasoning because he doesn’t get to do it enough. This is terrible, I’ve got it on tape at this station, but I can’t remember the third now. We’ll all just assume that it wasn’t Karen Sypher.

If you were to send a signed mustache to someone, who would it be?

Mike Hartline. ZING! He’s still got it folks.

Do you know why he shaved it? I heard his mom told him to.
That’s what he said. Do you think he could’ve grown a good mustache? Haha, I dunno, good question. I wish I could see one, frankly.

Well I dunno about you, but I don’t dream about seeing Mike Hartline’s Mustache. Touché, Cutman, touché.

If UK does win the National Championship this year (in either football or basketball) will you party with me on Avenue of Champions?

If you give me a call, and I’m not working… If UK wins a national championship, we will literally be working around the clock. But if UK wins a national championship, and I’m not busy, if you call me, I will come down to Avenue of Champions. I retract my earlier statement. I lied. I love Alan Cutler.

Article written by Matt Jones