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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Blast From the Past: Tomlin Causes an International Incident

I sometimes like to look at the hidden gems that have been part of this site in the not-so-distant past. But when I look for gems, the best ever may have been this post by Tomlin that came just over a month ago. Still has me laughing until I cry:

Friends,

It’s been a couple of weeks since I checked in with you last, but they’ve been two pretty exciting ones for me. You see, I recently put my illustrious KSR press credentials to good use, traveling to the Beijing Olympics in an effort to bring you guys all the latest news from the international games. Two things were problematic here. First, I realized that my missives — which I sent back to Matt via email — were so riddled with profanity that not a single one cleared Chinese censors.

Secondly, upon my arrival in Beijing I realized that the only event my pass qualified me to cover was a Latvia/Finland boxing preliminary bout, which I attended for roughly seven minutes before I decided I’d rather be at home.

But my trip wasn’t without merit, I’m pleased to say. While there, I met other journalists from around the world. And as I chatted with my global colleagues, I realized that what we do here at Kentucky Sports Radio is hardly unique — in fact, many other countries have similar sites that bear uncanny resemblance to the one you’re reading right now. It was tremendously eye-opening to swap stories, trade clips, and learn about these sites. And thus I present to you, on this Need-to-Know Wednesday, some random samplings from KSR’s Sister Sites from Around the World. Enjoy!

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COUNTRY: BURUNDI

Vitimbi Mwai’s Thursday News and Views

Today we celebrate the 53rd birthday of Vitimbi Mwai. I don’t know about you guys, but Vitimbi’s classic portrayal of Mbobo on the Tanzanian sitcom Where’s the Barrel? has always been to me a staple of comedy. The episode where the wild dog gets into his tent is truly timeless, and his back-and-forth verbal jousting with Mama Ttubu never gets old (you gotta love the trademark line “I TOLD you three times already!”).

But on with the updates:
-Kenyan Runner Kenneth Mungara looks to be a strong frontrunner in Zimbabwe’s Country Games. I talked to his father Matwa today, who told me Mungara is healing nicely after his recent encounter with a green bush viper. More to come later today on that…

-Cricketer Ajari Oma seems poised to join the Ghanan national team if a revolution in his neck of the woods doesn’t sideline the plans. An uprising in his province may lead to the creation of a new country, which will damage his eligibility as he will no longer be considered a Ghanan. Keep your fingers crossed!

Stay tuned today for more updates, including Wmomo the Intern’s exciting links and a list of the greatest lion attacks.

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COUNTRY: DENMARK

Short and Existence-Crushing Profile: Jorn Qvist

Editor’s note: When we decided to profile all of Denmark’s greatest cyclers, we thought it would be a great idea. But as the unbearable weight of knowledge began to press against the inside of our brains like a thousand heated pinpricks, we started wondering if life’s cruelest illusion is the ignorance of the knowledge of any one man.

Bleak, Soul-Usurping Vitals
Height: 197 cm
Weight: 81 kgs

Unfair Comparison to ex-Danish Cyclist: Oleg Kvizt, who drown himself in a tub upon realization of his limits as a mortal human.

Least Horrific Fact from his Media Guide Bio: Once enjoyed candies, but no longer.

Something we made up about him: Will live a full, happy life free from acknowledgement of the great divide between inner peace and physical body.

Outlook for 2008: Inevitably doomed by the tremendous weight of living and the fleeting superficiality of emotional love.

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COUNTRY: RUSSIA

Know Your Enemy: Buryatia Eagles

The Buratyia Eagles, defiant at every point, must be destroyed. Bear it no mind that Yaroslov Saytiev resembles the character Mova from Russian video game Rock Destruction or that Aleksandr Noporov’s moustache is friendly like logo on Yeleskiv Soap Flake box. The Eagles are to be enemy at all cost.

When Bears march into Eagle territory on Sunday, blood will pump red upon the field and the mothers of the dogs will cry for mercy on their sons’ souls. Do not let feeling conflict us. Victory is great, and for strong. And like pop star Yelena Markovi’s top 40 Russian hit title I Will Be Joyful to Weep Upon Your Bone Powder, my prediction is that the Eagles will be crushed to dust upon the final whistle, where their angels will be unwelcome in heaven and will receive blows to the face by a God who smites them for their cowardice.

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COUNTRY: JAPAN

It’s a Happy Fun Need-Knowing Tuesday!

Hello my friends! It is time to dance with happiness! We will talk with smiles about things which are untrue with winking!

Today we will talk about Mizuki Nogama having a good running contest with fake joking! It would say maybe this:

Mizuki: I will run with red hat on!
Yoshii: Mizuki! Hat will go crazy in wind!
Mizuki: I pay that no minding!
(Mizuki runs and hat blows off in air)
Mizuki: Yoshii! You were right! Hat is disappear! Ayyyyy!

or maybe this will be the sight:

Mizuki: My feet are pain from running much!
Liu: Here, put this fishes on your feet to soften!
(Mizuki runs with the fish on her feet)
Mizuki: Oh no! Fish are like puddles of oil under me! I will slip!
(Mizuki slips)
Liu: Oh Mizuki! You are so funny!

Happy Tuesday friends! Enjoy this video of man making with kisses to his dog! How silly!

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Wow. When you look at things this way, the world sure does seem a little smaller. Enjoy the rest of the Olympics, you crazy kids, and I’ll see you next week.

Article written by Matt Jones