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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Bill Simmons Takes on Big Cuz

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Chances are that if you are an internet sports reader, you are aware, and probably a fan, of Bill Simmons of ESPN. He completely transformed the way sports are written about on the internet and begat a style of writing that culminated in blogs such as this one. The notion of a “fan journalist”, who uses pop culture references, makes jokes about the sports participants and generally takes sports with a grain of salt, became the standard for sports coverage for those of a certain generation and KSR generally owes its existence to the inspiration he provided.

I have always enjoyed reading Simmons talk about his primary love (the NBA) and now that UK guys are in the league, we get a chance to see him write about those we know well. Here is his latest take on Demarcus Cousins who has had somewhat of a roller coaster ride early in his Sacramento career:

“We knew Cousins was a tough guy to, um, manage. (Recent reports of strife between Cousins and his coaches weren’t exactly shocking.) We knew he’d be a work in progress, that he might launch an occasional gawd-awful 3, draw a dumb technical or make you say “We’re losing by 22, why is he laughing hysterically on the bench right now?” But I never realized how much Cousins would struggle to stay on the court. Through nine games: 196 minutes, 40 fouls. That’s 9.8 fouls per 48 minutes, which (if it held) would be the highest number for anyone averaging 16-plus minutes since Danny Fortson’s legendary 12.0 in 2005. You watch Cousins, thinking “No, no, don’t go for the upfake … NOOOOOOO!” and “No, don’t jump over his back, NO!!!!!!” Then he’ll take over a game for 60 seconds so easily it makes you say “I’m going online and buying 10 Cousins rookie cards.” What a roller coaster.

Reason No. 14,727 I love the NBA: I fully expect to change my opinion on Cousins 570 times before his career is over. Minimum.”

Interesting stuff and generally accurate (although Cousins insists that the reports of problems between him and the coaches are false). Boogie is going to be a star in the NBA…that I firmly believe. But he has to cut down on the fouls…I am sure he will and then the 50 Cousins’ rookie cards I have will gain a great deal in value.

Article written by Matt Jones