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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Bill Self’s Thursday News & Views

Bill Self has become a household name at KSR. I like to think of him as that “cool” uncle you have who wears a leather jacket, big smile, and attempts to keep up with the “kids’ lingo,” but deep down, you know it’s all a little fake, right down to the wig tape at his temple. Over the years, Self has been very complimentary of the Cats, calling last year’s squad a “special special team” of “hard rockin’ dudes” after we beat them in New York. However, after we beat them for the National Championship, Self sang quite a different tune; months later, he still couldn’t admit that the Cats were the better team that night, telling the crowd at Kansas’ Midnight Madness festivities “They didn’t beat us. We ran out of time.” …Whatever you have to tell yourself to get by.

Last summer at the Peach Jam, KSR discovered Self’s little secret: he wears a wig. Now, there’s no shame in getting a little help in the hair department, and Self has managed to keep the fact that he’s bare up there under his hat for quite some time. Bill, put on your party piece, because this year is the big 5-0. Don’t get too close to the candles with that thing.

‘Twas a slow news day in the Commonwealth, but the Louisville game is right around the I-64 corridor. So, with three days left until the big matchup at the Yum Center, here are three things the Cats must do to pull off the upset:

Control the guard play — For the past three years (and the past four wins), the Cats have bested the Cards due in large part to strong guard play from John Wall, Brandon Knight, and Marquis Teague. Louisville’s Peyton Siva and Russ Smith know what it’s like to lose to Kentucky; Siva in particular has an impressive set of scars. Siva and Smith are also one of the reasons the Cards are so successful. So far this season, they’ve combined for 62 steals, or one for every eleven minutes of play. Ryan Harrow had his best game as a Cat against Marshall on Saturday, and it will take all of his poise, confidence, and skill to keep Kentucky’s upset chances alive. It will also take a consistent performance from Archie Goodwin, who must show more control if he hopes to have an impact.

Hit open shots — The rims were pretty chilly at Rupp when the Cats beat Marshall. For Kentucky to beat Louisville, they will have to make the easy shots they’ve been missing, especially from behind the arc. If Kyle Wiltjer can hit his threes, it will create opportunities in the post for Nerlens Noel and (hopefully) Alex Poythress. Even if shots are missed, the Cats must control the boards and take advantage of second-chance points, a tall task against Louisville’s formidable interior defense.

Keep cool under pressure — We’ve established that the Cats have nothing to lose on Saturday. The pressure is all on Louisville, specifically Rick Pitino, who has a Calipari-shaped white elephant sitting in his living room. The Yum Center will be packed with rowdy dirty birds with three years of crowing built up in their system. This young team, specifically Ryan Harrow, must maintain their cool in enemy territory, something they failed to do at Notre Dame. More so, they have to keep the fire they showed against Marshall going and play with passion, or it will be a long night in the Chicken Bucket.

And now, for the news:

— After weeks of “will he, won’t he” drama, Gorgui Dieng WILL PLAY against the Cats on Saturday. Rick Pitino confirmed the news after Dieng went through a full contact practice and evaluation on Wednesday. In other surprising news, the world is round and water swirls the other way around the toilet bowl in Australia.

— The DeMarcus Cousins saga continues in Sacramento. Cousins did not travel with the team to Portland for their game against the Trailblazers. CBS Sports NBA blogger Matt Moore suggests that the Kings’ ownership and management wanted Cousins back, but the coaching staff and team aren’t so happy about it. ESPN’s Chad Ford thinks Boogie may find a new home in Boston with Danny Ainge and the Celtics. Ainge has never shied away from controversial players, and there are trade possibilities for the Kings. If that doesn’t happen, the Pistons, Mavericks, and Miami are also interested.

— Future Cat James Young had a big night, scoring 27 points and grabbing 14 rebounds in his team’s win in the Motor City Roundball Tournament. That was good enough for MVP honors. In other UK signee news, Marcus Lee is averaging 18 points, 20 rebounds, six blocks, and four assists per game. 20 rebounds?! Wow. Get it, boys.

— The rosters for the NFL Pro Bowl were released on Wednesday, and shockingly, Randall Cobb was not included. Cobb, a sure lock for the NFC kick returner, was snubbed in favor of Leon Washington. The ballot is a combination of votes from players, coaches and fans. So far this season, Cobb has amassed 1,256 yards returning kicks and punts, while Washington has only 1,056 yards (and eyes that aren’t golden). In other Cobb news, Green Bay will continue to use him as the primary returner next season. Head coach Mike McCarthy said that despite the higher risk for injuries that come with returning kicks (Cobb is nursing a sprained ankle right now), they can’t lose Cobb’s explosiveness at the position.

— Finally, this Twitter exchange between Jeff Goodman and South Carolina coach Frank Martin made me chuckle:

That’s all for now. The gang will be LIVE from Bearno’s Pizza in Jeffersonville, Indiana on Thursday morning, so cross the river and have a slice with your KSR fam.

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

35 Comments for Bill Self’s Thursday News & Views



  1. Ziiiinggg
    11:17 pm December 26, 2012 Permalink

    Get em Frank. I HATE Jeff Goodman, he’s pure trash.



  2. Larry
    11:27 pm December 26, 2012 Permalink

    Much respect to Bill Self. I believe he’s a hell of a coach just sucks that he does it for Kansas.



  3. Rick Pitino's Hair Plugs
    11:28 pm December 26, 2012 Permalink

    So what’s the big deal about wearing a hair piece?



  4. Reality Check
    11:30 pm December 26, 2012 Permalink

    3) Unlike Cow, at least Rick can see his feet.



  5. JimBobCooter
    12:37 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    And actually, the water doesn’t flush in reverse in Austrailia.

    Yes the pull is reversed, but it is too weak of a force to overcome fast flushing toilet water.

    I should put up a Wikipedia link or something. Thanks for the college, mom & pops!



  6. bigredbleedsblue
    1:09 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Really 4 you are going to make a Rick can see his feet comment? Are you sure?



  7. bigredbleedsblue
    1:10 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    How about Rick can’t see his feet because there is a big blonde bimbo blocking his way?



  8. bigredbleedsblue
    1:11 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Or Rick can’t see his feet because his crying over being irrelevant in this state now?



  9. bigredbleedsblue
    1:12 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    How about Rick can’t see his feet because our big national championship trophy is in his way?



  10. Big Blue 66
    1:45 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    how about rick may not be able to see his feet but he can see when he cums on his leg



  11. ltothaj1
    3:21 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    we should all go to our twitter account right now and quote Frank Martin…



  12. tdogg40330
    4:04 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    I HATE LOUISVILLE !!!!



  13. tdogg40330
    4:06 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    PISS ON LOUISVILLE !!!



  14. theSkinny81
    5:31 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    unlike Rick, Cal has National Championships. Eighty six.



  15. chuckie williams
    5:41 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Do you think he could have been kidding when he said the thing about they lost because there was not enough time? if cal said the same thing about the final four loss to connecticut you would say he was just joking.



  16. Az2au
    5:44 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    #5 I am sitting in my apartment right now in Sydney and the water doesn’t circle either way. Toilets are different here. The damn water sits too low to tell and the flushing mechanism is different. On the bright side no plungers required here. Toilets don’t get clogged from legit use.



  17. justsaying
    7:28 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    To be fair, #3 was talking about hair plugs. So, the tard fan talking about cal’s belly is on par with #3’s stupidity.



  18. kentuckyjoe
    7:28 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    I would add a 4th. We have to stay out of foul trouble. Siva and Smith can wreak havoc and it’s going to be hard to keep from fouling them. And if we need a 5th must; hit free throws. I think we can count on AG getting a lot of opportunities and if he knocks them down the way he has been that will be extremely helpful.



  19. spaghetti
    7:38 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Boogie to Boston would be great. Can you imagane if he and Rondo put their past differences behind them and got on the same page? Plus he could beat up on Sullinger every day in practice. But the best thing would be learning from KG how to be a big man in the NBA.



  20. No Thanks
    7:46 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    19) As a Boston fan, I don’t want that cancer anywher near the team. He is a clown and needs help. He will be the next rashard mccants and be blackballed if he keeps it up.



  21. HeshimuEvans'2ndGradeTeacher
    7:51 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    #19 – That would be great if KG could teach him some things. Here’s my question: Who’s gonna teach him to be a man and that when things don’t go your way you can’t cry about it every single time? His own teammates don’t want him back, says a lot right there.



  22. Jc#1
    8:42 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Boston would be perfect fit for both sides.Boogie would learn a lot from KG and if he gets open Rondo will find him.If Boogie goes to Boston I think he will prove that he can be one of the best big men in the NBA.Please Danny Ainge make this happen because I know you read KSR, YOU CAN DO IT !!!



  23. tom
    8:44 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Cousins must be acting like a real a$$ if his team mates don’t even want him back. A lot more going on behind the scenes apparently than just an arguement with his coach. Cousins will never be a great NBA player until he grows up.



  24. Bledsoe's Biceps
    8:53 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    I’ve always been a big fan of Boogie, but not so much anymore. The guy has run out of 2nd chances. This may be his last chance to show he can/will get his head on straight, show some maturity and control his emotions. He better spend some money and get some professional help or his career will be very short. I hope he does.



  25. Bradley
    8:59 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Demarcus has to get out of Sacramento. He certainly deserves some blame, but he can’t possibly be in a more dysfunctional situation. You wouldn’t give a drug addict a job in a pharmacy. And an immature player like Demarcus can’t function on the most immature team in the league.



  26. Really
    9:03 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    25) Yeah, Sacramento is the problem. Get real.



  27. kyle heavy
    9:17 am December 27, 2012 Permalink


  28. Jack Nicklaus
    9:17 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    OK, I tried being nice but I can’t take it anymore. These linebeards are just a little too full of themselves and are out of control. Lets just put an old-fashioned ass-whoopin’ on them and then listen to all the whining and excuses. Come on boys…its your destiny!



  29. NotSoFast
    9:21 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    28) The problem is Cal does not have 5 to 7 pros on this team. So, he will have to coach. Check out his 4 NIT’s at Memphis (before his pimp, Wes came on board). That is the coach he really is. Cal is at his best when he can just roll the ball out there and let his NBA team do their thing. Wes did not purchase enough talent this year to overcome Cal.



  30. Ap
    9:23 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    20. Mccants was sidelined with injuries.

    Alot of cousins problems is he is frustrated his teammates don’t pull their own weight. I think being on a good team where he doesn’t have to be the star would help him alot. He needs change though.



  31. [email protected]
    9:30 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    29 you may want to seek couseling for your Cal envy. Surely they make medication for that.



  32. [email protected]
    9:30 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    Or counseling



  33. Jorts
    9:32 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    29 – Cal coached me into the pros. Haters gonna hate.



  34. Liggins
    9:57 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    33, me too!



  35. RealCatsFan
    10:03 am December 27, 2012 Permalink

    29 was probably one of the same trolls who was crowing that Cal would never win a championship with one-and-done players. I’m sure he will now trot out that Cal was lucky to have Miller, Jones and Lamb, but it takes a good coach to manage that talent. Look at what Pitino did back in 96 – same scenario, a group of future pro’s, but someone had to teach them how to play together and manage all the egos and personalities. Baylor, NC State, and UCLA are examples of coaches who have an excess of talent at their disposal who don’t know what to do with them.

    This team is not as coachable as teams Cal has had in the past. They are lacking the steadying presence of a veteran, and there are a couple of key players that have not had the light go on yet. Still early in the season, and when that light does go on, 29 will once again have to eat his words.