Here at KSR, no one is safe from having fun poked at them by our writers. Certainly not Jeff Goodman. Certainly not Pete Thamel(toe). Not Joker, not Cal, not athletes, and not even made up people & situations created by Tomlin.
But being the sensitive guy that I am, I feel for these people. Am I saying we should stop making fun of people? ABSOLUTELY NOT. That would be a smack in the face to Matt Jones, Rob Gidel, Turkey Hunter, Hubby, and the rest of the KSR forefathers who laid the foundation of funny years ago.
I just want the ridicule to be more evenly spread. I want the writers, readers, and fans of KSR to be able to laugh at themselves. If you can’t laugh at yourself, what kind of life are you living? Assumably the life of a Louisville Cardinal. That’s no life to live.
Tonight I want to introduce a new weekly feature called “aUKward Fan Photos.” I understand that awkward is spelled incorrectly. However, this being a UK focused site, I used what we in the biz call “creative liberty” to give this feature a name that is a bit more unique.
Here is how this will work. You, the reader, will send me a photo at [email protected] or tweet it to me @AFlenerKSR with the hashtag #aUKwardFanPhoto. It can be recent. It can be old. It can be one person. It can be more. But it must be aUKward, UK related, and you must be in the photo.
By sending me a photo you are agreeing to the following terms and conditions:
1.) You give me consent to put the photo on the website.
2.) You give me consent to make fun of everyone and everything in the picture.
3.) You will tell me your name, where you are from, and a little bit about the picture (where it was taken, when it was taken, etc.).
To show how good of a sport I am, I will kick off this series by making fun of a picture I was once involved with.
This, my friends, is a picture of my brothers and I sporting matching Walter McCarty jerseys. Using context clues (the denim jerseys), I assume this was taken sometime in 1996.
Here are a list of observations I have about this picture:
1.) We took this picture in a PROFESSIONAL STUDIO. My mother spent American currency so a lady would tell us to gather in the floor and smile. How can you fault her, though? It’s not like you can find a
carolina light blue background like that just anywhere.
2.) My mother, who was the primary caregiver and molder of our worldview at this time, thought this was a reasonable thing to do.
3.) In 1996 I was 13 years old. I can’t imagine the empty promises my mother must have made to me in order to get me to agree to this. When I was 13 I still wore sweatpants to school, had my first kiss at the movie “Casper”, and got the letter “A” shaved into the back of my head WITH THE QUOTATION MARKS! I did what I wanted. This would not have been something I wanted to do.
4.) My brother Brett was 6 at the time. He weighed 52 pounds, cried about everything, and his life revolved around watching “Home Alone” four times a day. Unless that movie was on somewhere behind the camera, I can’t imagine he wanted to be there.
5.) Luke was 11. He is the middle brother. He’s just happy we remembered to put him in the car and that I let him part his hair like me. At the time, he thought this picture was legitimately awesome. He still does.
There are many more photos of me, and if you guys don’t participate I’ll be unashamed to keep making fun of myself each week. But this will be a lot more fun with your involvement. This being a new feature and I don’t expect a lot of participation early on. That being said, this is a great chance for you to get your face on KSR.
Oh yeah, one last thing. As for the picture at the top of this post. Well, that’s a grown man (me) in a Kentucky onesie. Complete with the feet. This is not okay. Who thought it was a good idea? Yep, you guessed it. My mother.