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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Auburn’s tree poisoner nabbed!

harvey-updyke

There aren’t many things that can register you lower on the totem pole of bad fandom than harassing recruits over Facebook or calling players’ personal cell phones to harrass them, but this is certainly one of them.  A 62-year old Bammer man, Harvey Updyke, was arrested this morning for poisoning the oak trees in Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner for, apparently, no other reason than he is an Alabama fan.  Early reports say the trees are destined to die, which obviously leaves Matt Jones with nothing to hug when he travels there in his new CBS gig.  It’s sad.

If there’s a bright side, it’s the mug shot.  It’s more Alabama than Wal-Mart football jerseys.  “You guilty?”  “Yup.”

Article written by Thomas Beisner

54 Comments for Auburn’s tree poisoner nabbed!



  1. Smitty4UK
    10:46 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    I find it funny that “The soil samples were tested at Mississippi State.”



  2. CalifCatFan
    10:47 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Mr. Breisner, the font on these posts are too small. Seriously, would you please return to the original size.



  3. Chris
    10:47 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Sucks.



  4. Chris
    10:48 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Btw the soil samples were tested at Miss State because there was a fire at Auburn, or something like that.



  5. Wildcat Sam
    10:49 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    I can’t even imagine how stupid someone would have to be to do something like this. This guy is a moron.



  6. Thomas Beisner
    10:51 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    2, Are you viewing on a computer? I got an email about that yesterday and it’s all still showing up the same to me.



  7. youidiots
    10:53 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Thanks for giving credit to the hard-working people who actually reported the story and got the mug shot. Geez.



  8. slappy
    10:57 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    “Harvey Updyke” sounds like a 62-year-old Bammer fan. 62 years old and poisoning trees because you hate your rival?? As UK fans we’re all pretty ridiculous, but get a freaking life, loser.



  9. The Joy in Larry Conley's Voice
    10:58 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    This man deserves to be stripped down, slathered with mayonnaise and pheromones, pulled into a dark room full of male chimpanzee’s where they rape and penetrate his every orifice.

    And then post the whole night vision thing on YouTube.

    What a pair of clown shoes.



  10. kymatt
    10:58 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Nice call on the popped collar



  11. Beavis
    10:59 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    hell if your gonna kill the trees be man about it and use a chainsaw. im guessing this guy has failed in life at nearly everything.



  12. Ron Burgundy
    11:01 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Open your legs ignore the shame, your going to get some Pitino vein.



  13. Ron Burgundy
    11:03 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Open your legs, ignore the shame. You’re gonna get some Pitino vein.



  14. Judge Mathis
    11:07 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    I sentence you to plant trees for the rest of your life…



  15. Ukmoxie
    11:08 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    2., Ctrl + to zoom.



  16. Richard Stansbury
    11:10 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    No way this man receives a fair trial in south



  17. TennCAT
    11:12 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    So what are the charges?
    Distruction of property?
    Vandelism?
    Trespassing?



  18. hoofhearted
    11:13 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Yeah, I’ve been having the same issue with the font. Upon opening KSR it comes in smaller than usual, but the font returns to normal size once I drag outwards on the mouse pad.



  19. homework sucks
    11:15 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    When they ask him in court if he pleads guilty or not guilty, will he say “Roll Tide”?



  20. cracka
    11:15 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    this is just ridiculous … this sort of thing is only justified if done to duke or ohio state



  21. oboylerules
    11:16 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    He will always be remembered…Roll Tide.



  22. btothe4th
    11:18 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    His kids names are Bear and Crimson. Wow.



  23. Doubting Thomas
    11:18 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Wait a minute here. We don’t want to start condemning people who kill trees. I remember a certain BB coach cutting down a huge tree in his front yard. We need to move along and leave this guy alone.



  24. Boston Big Blue
    11:25 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    This looks sweet:

    http://www.sindolormovie.com/



  25. Kenny
    11:29 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    facebooked the dude………….he is a retired STATE TROOPER……http://www.facebook.com/update_security_info.php?wizard=1#!/profile.php?id=1239559868



  26. HiMyNameIs
    11:36 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    He looks like Brett Favre in 20 years!! LOL…AGREE?



  27. Peoplewhowork
    11:40 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    MURDERER



  28. The Oval Office
    11:50 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    23 – But it’s HIS tree.

    These trees at Auburn AREN’T his property.



  29. Ifthisdoesntwiniquit
    11:51 am February 17, 2011 Permalink

    This guy should go to prison like mike Vick! …..not screw the trees plant some more and quit whining god I’m embarrassed to live in these times sometimes.. A rich lady creams a labradoodle on her way to get her nails done and never gives it a second thought and no one cares… Mike vick kills one Or two by waterboarding them or whatever…gas chamber or some other bullshit and he goes to prison …. Nice…And the chorus is heard “and I’m proud to be an American..where you go to prison if you cut down trees”…”and I won’t forget the dogs who died and gave that right to me”



  30. Orlando Antigua
    12:07 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Just curious…I don’t condone his actions at all. But what charges will be brought? I guess what I am asking is what is the actual crime? destruction of property?



  31. fred
    12:10 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Pa-ROLLLL TIDE!!!!!



  32. truth
    12:20 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    I think this is hilarious. Glad its not a UK fan though.



  33. Eric B.
    12:50 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    30–I think the charge is called “arborcide.”



  34. NBA league pass
    12:54 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    I’d take my truck and turf a yard over this if I was in his shoes.



  35. Eric B.
    12:54 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Actually, he’s being charged with “felony criminal mischief.” I did not make that one up.



  36. Bleedblue
    12:57 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Criminal mischief, I think it could be 1-10 years in prison.



  37. Common Sense
    12:59 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    What a turd…



  38. Yargamel
    1:20 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Finally. I really needed some closure on this.



  39. Keith B
    1:28 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    “Roll damn tide” will be his last words



  40. KarlMalone
    2:06 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Trees are people too.



  41. Harvey Yeary
    2:15 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Perhaps the dying trees could be used for one final purpose. His punishment.



  42. bubba
    3:21 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    The bone head called a radio show to tell everyone he did it.



  43. Lorax
    3:29 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    This guy is a toolbag. I speak for the trees.



  44. The Juggernaut
    4:14 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Anybody know where I can find some firewood?



  45. Judd
    5:18 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Man, Brett Favre has really let himself go after retirement!



  46. FriendsOfCoal
    6:04 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    What’s wrong with killing a few trees?

    Seriously, that guy deserves every one of the twenty years he faces.



  47. Bear Bryant
    6:18 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    http://dailybamablog.com/2011/02/17/suspected-tree-poisoner-had-no-ties-to-ua/

    THE GUY WAS NOT AN ALABAMA FAN. ROLL TIDE BITCHES



  48. Concerned Citizen
    10:25 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Anybody catch Dari Noka filling in for Brian Kenny on ESPNRADIO? Told the story about this and then read text during Kenny’s Logins. It went something like “This from the 2-7-0, Card fan here. I’d love to do something like that to kentucky. Good Job, Harvey”…. Way to stay classy, Lil brother



  49. Devilinthedetails
    11:04 pm February 17, 2011 Permalink

    Here’s a pretty good article on it… what an idiot, “Roll Damn Tide”.
    http://www.ajc.com/sports/air-of-sadness-hangs-843685.html



  50. TheGuyPitinoForgotToPayToGetFreshFishAtPorchinis
    12:34 am February 18, 2011 Permalink

    This is the only guy who learned the wrong lesson from the movie Avatar



  51. el hombre juan
    4:40 am February 18, 2011 Permalink

    looks like brett favre in about 5 years….



  52. SanDiegoDave
    5:18 am February 18, 2011 Permalink

    This douchebag should have his nuts cut off. He obviously doesn’t need them.



  53. Ontheroadagain
    9:14 am February 18, 2011 Permalink

    #18 That’s what she said



  54. Code
    9:15 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    #29 that was the most ridicolous comment I’ve ever heard. That’s all.