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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Anatomy of the Enemy: Rotini Clarke


Like his brother Fusilli Jerry, Rotini Clarke has been defying expectations since childbirth. Born on July 20, 1989 to parents Penne and Ziti Clarke, Rotini made a name for himself as a sharpshooter with an uncanny ability to twist out of double teams, thanks in large part to his tight helix shape.

Look familiar? Clarke was heavily recruited by Kentucky under Billy Gillispie. When asked what he thought Clarke would bring to the team, Gillispie said he like the guard’s “tough and gritty play,” along with the fact that he “kinda looks like a corkscrew.”

Clarke is the type of player that can create problems for the Cats if he gets hot, much like Vanderbilt’s John Jenkins did a few weeks ago. Rotini is Arkansas’ leading scorer and is a dangerous outside threat, hitting 44% from behind the arc. Particularly impressive is Clarke’s range; he can shoot the ball from deep and has an incredibly quick release. The Cats will need to guard Clarke closely to keep his play from boiling over.

I hope DeAndre Liggins has his slotted spoon ready. Go Cats.

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

20 Comments for Anatomy of the Enemy: Rotini Clarke

  1. tdogg4033011
    5:02 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    Liggins will be in his grill all night …… screw the Razorbacks

    GO CATS !!!!

  2. Cakewalk game....
    5:03 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    If Kentucky loses this road game . . . they don’t deserve to play in the NCAA tournament… ARKANSAS SUCKS!

  3. PhysicalPhil
    5:10 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    This game should separate the wheat from the chaff. Clarke won’t be able to noodle his way out of Liggins’s D.

  4. tdogg4033011
    5:12 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    2) maybe a little truth to that ….. but you know all road games for UK aren’t normal
    games for the home team. They’ll play their best game of the season tonight …. I don’t
    think it will be enough though …….. GO CATS !!!!

  5. mgcat
    5:14 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    Best (Arkansas) post EVAH!

  6. TheGuyPitinoForgotToPayToGetFreshFishAtPorchinis
    5:14 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    Rotini Clark will be drowning in cheddah… Linguini Liggins covers the whole court.

  7. Jerimy
    5:14 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    You never fail to amuse the hell out of me, good stuff. Liggins bring the Slotted Spoon mate, or i will break out the Chair Leg Of Truth.

  8. PhysicalPhil
    5:17 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    When it comes to defense, like Prego, Liggins is the best.

  9. George Costanza
    5:18 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    You had to use corkscrew pasta

  10. UKChillFan
    5:23 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    #2 that seems a bit over the top. Losing a game, road or not, Arkansas or not, these guys deserve to have a bid to the NCAA.

  11. AKA cold buckets
    5:26 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    f*ck the price on the tag, just throw it in the bag.

  12. Nashville Cat
    5:27 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    +1 good job.

  13. mudcat
    5:30 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    I expect to win by 13, but most fans have their doubts about the Cats on the road. Arkansas is very athletic, beat Vandy at Vandy, and play differently at home. If Ole Miss can beat us so can the Hogs. Get the job done Cats! Foul trouble is key to game!

  14. Cakewalk game....
    5:44 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    This is a team with an RPI in the 116!!! That’s OVC basketball guys… If Kentucky doesn’t blow this team out by 20pts or more, Coach Cal should not be allowed on the plane home. Foul trouble? CAl doesn’t care… He hasn’t developed a bench all season. Okay coach, here we go… CAN WE BEAT A TERRIBLE TEAM ON THE ROAD??? tick. . . .tick . . . . tick . . . tick . . . .

  15. bung
    5:51 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    we run we win

  16. JackNicklaus
    5:52 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    I recall Rotini wanting to come to UK right after his visit, but his father put a nix to that and he somehow then ended up in Hogtown South. He has to be P Sparks cousin or something and we could use his scoring. Not sure about his DDMO ability but his knack of putting the ball in the basket would be nice.

  17. Rick Porcini
    6:07 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    I LOVE pasta humor. Does Rotini come with clam sauce?

  18. Cakewalk game....
    7:41 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    lose to a 114 RPI team? No way… Cal wouldn’t be allowed to fly back on the team plane. Cats by 12.

  19. We R We R The BBN
    7:43 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    #14 I could not agree more. He is the best recruiter in the history of the game. But IMO just an average coach. U give Pitino (and trust me I hate Pitino) last year teams hands down we have # 8. Now I love coach Cal and I do think he will win a tilte eventually. If all 3 freshman stay which I think they will. Nest year could be special. At Florida why no time out? On the flip side we should be 22-4 right now roughly #7 or #8 in America going in to tourney as a solid # 2. But we will all wait and see. Go Big Blue!

  20. Ms. Tyler Thompson
    10:22 pm February 23, 2011 Permalink

    I hate pasta now. Thanks, Rotnei.