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An Idol fan’s guide to tonight’s game

If you live with someone of the female persuasion (wife, girlfriend, BTI, etc.), hopefully you had the foresight to get some sort of Digital Recording Device, particularly for nights like tonight. With American Idol premiering tonight at 8pm and the UK/Florida game at nine, chances are there will be some television programming infighting across the state of Kentucky tonight.

I know, I know, no real man would never actually relinquish their television rights to a mere woman, but just in case you’d like to soften the blow and actually get laid within the next 4 months, I’ve put together a guide to help explain the UK/Florida game to the American Idol fan. They have a lot more in common than you think.

simon-cowell

American Idol: Simon Cowell- good looking hair, Enemy #1 among crappy television fans, stingy with praise

UK/Florida Game: John Calipari- good looking hair, Enemy #1 among jealous basketball fans, stingy with praise

 

eddie-munster

American Idol: Eddie Munster

UK/Florida Game: Eddie Munster

 

American Idol : Randy Jackson- music insider (worked with Mariah Carey and a bunch of other artists that constantly have their songs butchered on AI) gives thoughtful commentary on contestants, gets really excited by potential talent

UK/Florida Game: Jimmy Dykes-basketball insider (served as an assistant coach at UK and a scout to a team that constantly got butchered in the NBA), gives thoughtful commentary on the games, gets really excited by dunks

 

American Idol: The pathetic saps who think they are good only because no one close to them had the balls to tell them the truth before they made complete fools of themselves on TV

UK/Florida game: Each and every Florida fan that will show up to tonight’s game.

 

American Idol: Those singers who start off really well, winning the judges praises each time they perform, but let the pressure of the competition get to them farther into the competition (see: Lil Rounds last season)

UK/Florida game: Florida 09-10

 

American Idol: Those singers that are actually good.

UK/Florida game: UK 09-10

 

And finally, the thing that should really make your significant other cross the line from talent show to the John Wall show:

American Idol: Young, botoxed cheerleaders paula-abdul

UK/Florida game: Hot, fresh cheerleaders cheerleaders

We’ll miss you Paula.

Article written by Katie Martin