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Kentucky Fans – America’s #1 Cat Enthusiasts

Earlier today, we witnessed the Indy Elite/IU bombshell drop, and our man DeAndre Liggins was including in the discussion.  I had several friends play for the Indy Elite program, due to growing up playing Indiana HS basketball, and none of them ever let me share in their cool benefits.  Jerks.  Mark Barnett, the founder of the AAU program, even attempted to adopt Liggins (not as bad as it sounds, and the article below provides interesting details).  Regardless, a person out in the twitterverse asked us “Which UK players would you have adopted?”  Here’s a few:

Brandon Knight – This kid has held a 4.0 for God knows how long.  He is an extremely hard worker and a diligent student.  You would never have to tell him to go do his homework.  He’d just calmly retort that he finished it last week in anticipation.  “That’s what syllabi are for, Dad,” he’d say.  Also, rebounding for the kid while he shot hoops with you in your driveway would be simple because every shot would fall through the net.  You’d never have to chase the ball across the street or over the fence.  Throw in the stimulating intellectual conversation, and he’d probably be teaching the adopted parents more than they taught him.

–  Patrick Patterson – Pat was the savior in a time of need.  He was as loyal a player as we could ask for.  He spurned two NBA drafts to stay three years at Kentucky.  A prodigal son he would not be.  Everyone needs a son who will be there whenever they need it, not to mention being a nice guy the entire time.  I actually filled out the paperwork to adopt Pat back in 2007, but they said I couldn’t adopt anyone who looked old enough to be my father, despite only being one year older than me.

–  Chuck Hayes – Throw in most of the reasons that apply to Patterson here, as the loyalty and hard work could never surpass that of Chuck.  With him as your son, you guys could go around fixing stuff around the house with ease.  Two guys tag-teaming the Plumbing for Dummies book would make for a leak-free home.  And remember that shed you always wanted to build in the back yard?  Consider it done… in one day.  Shooting free throws on the goal above the garage would not be as much fun with Chuck though, but it would keep you in good shape chasing balls.

–  Alex Legion – I know, Legion is not a choice many of you would have made.  But think about it – has a kid ever needed to be rescued from a crazy parent more?  Someone has needed to take Alex off his prophetic-mother’s hands for a while now.  It would be hard to keep him hidden from her though, as she’d use her god-like powers to track you down wherever you went.  Maybe you could con her in to conjuring up some winning lottery numbers for you?

Rashaad Curruth – Doesn’t every father want a son who can provide them with free drugs, booze, and beautiful women all the time?  I’d nearly feel proud to open the door to his room on a Sunday morning to find a scene that looks like Austin Powers and The Ladies’ Man had a joint party the night before.  He’d probably stay over at friends’ homes a lot, though.

–  Patrick Sparks – He could teach me a thing or too about making it rain from 4 feet behind the line.  I’m taller than him, so I would actually feel like I’m in charge.  Also, he probably wouldn’t use up all the shampoo/hair products.

Any other ideas?  I know I didn’t represent the female’s side of the story here very well, so let’s hear it.

Article written by Chris Thomas

14 Comments for Adopt-a-Cat

  1. BBN
    4:04 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    I would adopt John Wall so he could teach me how to dougie.

  2. Doug harrellson
    4:18 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Who wants Josh. You can have him. Just give me a case of Busch and some peanuts

  3. PillowTalk
    4:20 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Chuck Hayes

  4. BigBlueFan31
    4:27 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    This Cat has hold a 4.0……..awesome.

  5. Mr Schwump
    4:41 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Think I’ll opt for the girl that pitches for the softball team.

  6. billybball
    4:43 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    We all want turquoise bung

  7. TreyDay
    4:43 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Daniel Orton didn’t make the list?

  8. Tommy
    4:59 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    You want to chase Chuck Hayes’ balls

  9. cracka
    5:08 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    i choose angela phillips … ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, i just wanna help

  10. KING REX
    5:49 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    JORTS!!! So I can have someone to deer hunt with!!!

  11. Axe Cop
    6:06 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    A thing or too. Sweet.

  12. UK Wildcat
    6:07 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Tayshaun Prince. Dude pulled in over 11 million dollars this year.

  13. Matt
    10:59 pm May 26, 2011 Permalink

    Big cuz

  14. B4UK8
    1:44 am May 28, 2011 Permalink

    i think i have to go back a few years, and not somebody that did anything after college. Anthony Epps, a good ol kentucky boy and lettered in the 3 major sports in high school, so you could do more than just rebound his made threes all day. you can toss the football and let him go long, since i dont really run, and maybe even play some catch. haha. what a great kid.