Remember that time we got the brilliant idea to pack up the KSR compound and head north for the Bridgeport Regional in the Women’s NCAA Tournament? This is how it went…
8:45 p.m. — Matt left Louisville.
Matt was the emcee for the Mr. and Ms. Basketball ceremony in Louisville on Friday night. Once the awards were presented and the pasta was digested, he hopped in the car and drove straight to Lexington to meet Hayley, Wilder and me.
10:09 p.m. — The four of us met in Lexington.
And began to pack the car.
10:12 p.m. — Still packing…
Hayley thought this is a month-long journey, apparently.
10:16 p.m. — Somehow, some way, we fit all of the luggage in the back.
Sadly, Wilder’s sixth and seventh pairs of shoes were left behind.
10:17 p.m. — On the road!!!
#wheelsup Bridgeport, Connecticut!!!
10:34 p.m. — Wilder had to pee.
I remember my first road trip.
10:41 p.m. — The first Conway Twitty song of the night.
“I See The Want To In Your Eyes”
10:45 p.m. — The second Conway Twitty song of the night.
“Never Been This Far Before”
10:50 p.m. — The third Conway Twitty song of the night.
“Tight Fittin’ Jeans”
10:52 p.m. — My first suicide attempt of the night.
The child safety lock is the only reason I’m sitting here typing this right now. I’d be on the pavement somewhere around Mt. Sterling if not for the inability to open my door.
12:15 a.m. — Welcome to West Virginia.
Also knows as the beginning of the worst drive in all of America.
1:50 a.m. — Pit stop in Big Otter, West Virginia.
Snap into a Slim Jim!!!!
2:23 a.m. — Beyonce?
Sing it, Wilder!
2:36 a.m. — I started reading Jay Bilas’ book, Toughness.
2:38 a.m. — I regretted buying Jay Bilas’ book, Toughness.
I kept reading, though. I thought it would help pass the time.
3:27 a.m. — I no longer own Jay Bilas’ book, Toughness.
People I trusted told me it’s a good book. I no longer trust those people.
3:54 a.m. — Welcome to Maryland.
There is nothing better than that tingling sensation you get when exiting West Virginia.
Hey, look! Maryland wildlife!
4:12 a.m. — Howard Stern radio
One of the best Sirius stations kept us awake and entertained over the next few hours. Who knew James Franco was such a scholar???
7:00 a.m. — We debate how long he’d survive if we left Wilder at a gas station in Kutzville, Pennsylvania.
The sun was coming up, we were slap happy, and Wilder needed to pee for the 41st time. A hypothetical situation had him living out of the Kutzville Sleep Inn and working at the Nestle factory. I can think of worse ways to live.
8:40 a.m. — Breakfast at Strawberry Place in Nyack, New York.
A recommendation from a Twitter follower put us at a fruity diner in Nyack, New York, home of Stephen Baldwin and Rosie O’Donnell.
I took three bites of this and surrendered…
9:38 a.m. — Matt’s eyes lit up when we passed the WWE building in Greenwich, CT.
Rich people everywhere.
10:14 a.m. — BRIDGE CITY!!!!!
10:21 a.m. — Time to change clothes…
… in the Holiday Inn lobby downtown. I brushed my teeth with bottled water on the sidewalk.
10:41 a.m. — Check-in at the arena.
Don’t pass out, Hayley. Look alive.
11:16 a.m. — Hello, Alan Cutler.
Hello, Matthew Mitchell.
12:00 p.m. — UK/Delaware Tip-off
Elena Delle Donne, you have our full attention.
12:16 p.m. — Hayley fell asleep at the table.
2:14 p.m. — Kentucky won.