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A Rebuttal: Responding to Tennessee Hate Day

Dear Mr. Radio,

It is with great disappointment I write this letter to you today. I recently became aware, via my secretary, of a “Tennessee Hate Day” being promoted on your internet place. I find this to be an incredibly immature use of your time, and I feel as if I should write to “set the record straight” on a few things.

The University of Tennessee has been a fine, upstanding institution in this state for almost twenty years. To insinuate that this university is somehow “less than” your own is positively ludicrous, and the ongoing stereotypes of our state’s fine citizens which you insist upon purveying is becoming simply too much. For instance, of the ten people I recently and informally polled, just five of them had a car in their yards. That’s only 15%!

Furthermore, the University of Tennessee’s curriculum is the finest in the entire city and continues to do great things. Just last year, we graduated the second most taxidermists in the country (we’ll get you next year, North Carolina!), our Truck Stop Management Program is consistently among the top in the country, and concert violinist Roy Acuff once was quoted as saying “The University of Tennessee is a university in Tennessee.” Has your precious Ashley Judd ever said that? Point Tennessee.

Someday you may even have to rely on University of Tennessee graduates. Then you’ll feel silly for having mocked us. Think about that next time you need a human shield, or when you need a new set of “truck balls” for your trailer hitch. Truck balls don’t grow on trees, you know!

Without Tennessee and its responsible citizens, the rest of the world would be denied many notable contributions to society, such as clocks created out of varnished slices of tree trunk, hilarious can cozies, or recording artist Tennessee Ernie Ford. And what if Ron Slay hadn’t been available to fix your toilet last week? You’d have been in a world of hurt, I’ll bet!

Our sports programs have always been top-notch, and we’ve always remained dedicated to it. Can you imagine how many slain goats per week it takes to keep the terrifying cave-monster who coaches our women’s basketball team satisfied? Can you even fathom how many interstate chemical and oil spills have been rectified through the charitable donations of our discarded headbands? Tennessee sports are good for both the students and the community.

And if you didn’t have Tennessee, everyone in Kentucky would fall down into Alabama. Look at a map, idiots. It’s plain geography. Have you ever even thought about that? Probably not.

Also, on a very serious note, we’d thank you to stop mentioning Bruce Pearl’s sweating issues. He has a glandular problem, and it’s no laughing matter. Seriously.

Thank you for allowing me a chance to respond to your “Tennessee Hate Day” today, and I hope I’ve cleared up some things about the University, and state, of Tennesssee for your audiences. Now I must get back to work. As you can imagine, if I took time out of my busy day to write personal letters to everyone who thinks Tennessee is full of rednecks and jackasses, I’d never get anything done. We look forward to hosting you in Thompson Boling arena this weekend.

Sincerely,
William Joseph Raymond Jackson, Jr.
Office of the President, University of Tennessee

Article written by C.M. Tomlin

28 Comments for A Rebuttal: Responding to Tennessee Hate Day



  1. IndyAlum
    12:38 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    As many as 60% of the casualties in the War of 1812 were men from Kentucky. Tennessee Volunteers? That is just (bad) revisionist history.



  2. deer boss
    12:39 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    okay job…..need to write with more deadpan, but still funny.



  3. Who's the guy
    12:39 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    In the red shirt w/ hat on backwards at the top of the KSR page?



  4. SexnNursinHomes
    12:42 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    “Truck Stop Management Program”- hahahahahahahaha



  5. FUNNY!
    12:46 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    My favorite line
    Can you imagine how many slain goats per week it takes to keep the terrifying cave-monster who coaches our women’s basketball team satisfied?
    Tomlin needs to post more



  6. duhville cat
    12:49 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    “Truck balls don’t grow on trees, you know! ……… Lmao. Great post Tomlin. Thx.



  7. Walt
    12:54 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    As a Tennessee grad I don’t quite know how to take this…

    That said, Go Big Blue



  8. HilljakLinbeard
    12:55 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Bringing it as always, HiYoooooo Tomlin!



  9. Joe
    12:59 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Tuck Fennessee.



  10. GMo
    1:00 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Low Down, Dirty, Snitches.



  11. TSlone08
    1:00 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Walt’s a UT grad?? #Hate

    Haha JK



  12. bakert
    1:00 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Want to really make fun of them? Make fun of that crap they bottle and sell under the name “Jack Daniels.” No self respectin’ Kentuckian would ever use that stuff for anything other than washing the undercarriage of their car.



  13. BigCatDaddy4263
    1:01 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Drew Franklin, they loved your column over on Volnation forum with the profile picture changes, they are laughing their ass off at how good of work you done..



  14. Karen
    1:01 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    #9 I already have



  15. lpool003
    1:01 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Funny, but where is my Not Jerry Tiption’s Friday news and views?



  16. PolsonFor3(minutes)
    1:01 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    3. That is one of the creators of the page. Need to know-Tomlin, Turkey Hunter, Rob Gidel, Fake Gimel and Hubby. Very important parts of KSR history. They are now teaching it in schools across our great state.



  17. Majorbigtime
    1:07 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Please, this is totally fake. No one in Tennessee can spell a word as long as “glandular”.



  18. ukclassof93
    1:11 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Awesome Job, I love it, and I LOVE this website!!



  19. lol
    1:18 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    whats up with todays pod cast? they’re from after the florida game



  20. CatFanStuckInIN
    1:20 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Priceless! Nicely done! Go Cats!



  21. Who's the guy
    1:23 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    16. I figured it was a creator, but didn’t know who. I knew Matt, Beisner & Drew but not that guy. Familiar with all the names you mentioned, but don’t know all their history. Someone needs to do a Wikipedia for KSR, or a History of KSR blog-post. Been an avid reader for about six months & a listener for three months.



  22. CatFanStuckInIN
    1:24 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    “I just can’t stress that enough… I hate Tennessee. Neyland Stadium looks like a garbage truck workers convention,” Someone PLEASE post that video today! Great work, guys!



  23. Bruce's PEARL necklace
    1:26 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Good Going Tomlin, that was nothing but sweet



  24. Mayor Ron Payne
    1:29 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    I’ll be in St. Louis on business. Which bars should I hit up downtown?



  25. Ms. Tyler Thompson
    1:48 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Classic.



  26. CalifCatFan
    2:40 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Vintage Tomlin.



  27. Bleedin'Blue
    2:42 pm March 4, 2011 Permalink

    Jeez, that killed me. I was in tears especially, the line about human shields and truck balls! Awsome post. Tennessee Hate Day Rules!