Quick, what is the most annoying sight in America on a daily basis? If you answer was Bill O Reilly, Rascal Flatts or Stuart Scott then you are close, but still not on point. No, the most annoying sight in America is the sight of virtually any Duke basketball player in the middle of a game in Cameron Indoor Stadium. Abnormally sweaty, slapping the floor, sprinting like a lap dog to hear Coach K’s words of wonder during a timeout, being a Duke player has an unbelievable ability to make otherwise likeable people (Grant Hill, Shane Battier) turn into people who make you want to bang your head against the wall. And the guys that were born annoying (Wojo, Collins, Paulus)….well forget it, they are unwatchable. Yes when the lord was seeking to make the equivalent of Chester Arthur in modern form, he created a Duke basketball player (ask your history teacher kids).
But now, we have found a group that puts the annoying factor of a Duke player to shame…..yes we have the old, rich, white men who wish they were Duke players. From the “Lion Oil” blog today, we find out that Coach K is continuing his Duke player “fantasy” camp, where old, unathletic men with more money than sense (quoting my grandfather), pay 10,000 bucks to play like a Duke player. Former Dukies come back to campus (do they ever leave?), slap the floor and “coach” the old guys during the daily sessions. There is then a tournament where (get this), the old farts get to play dress up in Duke uniforms and warmups and live out their fantasies in front of old Mike Gminski jerseys. The whole thing is for charity (which as always, I do respect) but the players go, in part, to “learn the business insights of Coach K.” (bet those are fascinating).
So there you go folks…..the next time you see Greg Paulus and you see him snarl and think, “boy I would like to punch him in the face,” take solace…..it could be his dad instead.