If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the Wildcat fans of the world to join hands and sing “Hey, Soul Sister” in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the Wildcat fans of the world to join hands and sing “Hey, Soul Sister” in the spirit of harmony and peace… and the second would be for Andrew Wiggins’ commitment to be given to Calipari, drama free in a televised press conference.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the fans to get together and sing.. the second would be for Andrew Wiggins’ commitment to Calipari.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being at the NCAA Headquarters. The place needs logic like Bill Self needs wig tape.
And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be for the fans… second would be for Wiggins… the third would be for all the power… and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 20-day winning streak, led by Nerlens Noel, Ryan Harrow, Alex Poythress and that commentator Charles somebody, I can’t think of his name, of course coach Cal would come, too. We’d finish off with a brand new banner, I guarantee you.
Wait a minute, maybe that March Madness thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no… the fans singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, we’re not gonna be able to get all those fans together! I mean, the logistics are impossible–Big Blue Nation is huge and Rupp Arena isn’t that big! It’s more trouble than it’s worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, March Madness – we go with that; second, Wiggins. No! We go with the power second, then Wiggins, and then the fans. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay… revenge against all my enemies, the Cardinals and the Hoosiers should die like pigs in Hell! Listen to me–especially Digger! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the Wildcat fans of the world to join hands and sing “Hey, Soul Sister” in peace and harmony.
Merry Christmas, everybody.