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10 Things You Didn’t Know About The University of Portland

1.) It’s in Oregon.

2.) UP is affiliated with the Congregation of Holy Cross and is the sister school of the University of Notre Dame.  It’s also affiliated with massive amounts of rain and marijuana.

3.) In 2007 the University of Portland was given a $12 million dollar gift (the largest in UP’s history) toward the School of Engineering from various bankers, merchants, and blacksmiths from Independence, Missouri who couldn’t ford the Willaimette River.  The donation is in honor of Wendy, who died of snakebite.

4.) UP has a student body of about 3,600 students – all but 37 of them claim they have seen Big Foot.

5.) According to UrbanDictionary.com, a “Portland” is a gay or effeminate chinese man. “Oh my God! That chinese guy has a leopard-print bag. What a Portland!”

6.) Miami Heat head coach Erik Spoelstra is a 1992 graduate from the University of Portland.  This explains why the Heat recently offered Atlanta medical supplies, ammo, two oxen, and spare parts for a future second round draft pick and cash considerations.

7.) The school’s motto, “The Truth Will Set You Free”, derived from the red pill/blue pill scene in The Matrix.

8.) A new Wally Pilot, the school’s beloved mascot, is selected every three years from Recovering Alcoholics of Portland East.

9.) The University of Portland is a perennial powerhouse in competitive hot air ballooning.

10.) The Purple Pride program pays Portland Pilots’ pianist, Paula Peppers, Patron and Percocets per performance.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR