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68 Random NCAA Tournament Thoughts

jimmer

There are a lot of things on my mind today.  68 things to be exact…

1.) This March is going to be mad. Outside of Ohio State, no team showed any dominance in the regular season and many believe this is the weakest field in recent memory. Good luck with those brackets.
2.) The selection committee has no idea what they’re doing. Clueless.
3.) The Big East better make some noise.  With 11 teams in the tournament, the Big East will never hear the end of it if the conference has a poor showing.
4.) Why is there a First Four round again?  Send ’em home or let ’em in. I don’t need to watch NIT-caliber games to get me ready for the dance.
5.) You want upsets? Look to the Southeast. Anyone can emerge from the Southeast Region. I’m looking at you, Belmont.
6.) Jimmer Fredette. Next…
7.) Can CBS just put Gus Johnson in a sound booth and have him call the last two minutes of every close game?
8.) According to reports out of Pittsburgh, both of Gary McGhee’s ankles were broken in Pitt’s Big East Tournament loss to UConn. McGhee will play in the tournament but McGhee has asked that all evidence of the injury be removed from YouTube.
9.) Arkansas Little-Rock’s loss to UNC-Asheville really messed up my bracket.  I had #16 UALR beating #1 Pittsburgh.
10.) The studio show could be more entertaining than the actual games. Charles Barkley will be part of the coverage. “I may be, I may be wrong…”
11.) North Carolina doesn’t miss Larry Drew.  At all.
12.) WTF is this?
13.) Doron Lamb was seen wearing a walking boot on campus. Let’s hope he’s wearing his goggles in the tournament. #LEGGOO
14.) Kansas drew another “B” team. In 2005, the Jayhawks lost in the first round to Bradley. Bucknell sent Kansas home the following year.
15.) Jennifer Hudson better not get within 500 miles of my television. Bring back Luther.
16.) Washington could make a run in the tournament. Just imagine how good they’d be if they had Enes Kanter.
17.) … and Terrence Jones.
18.) While her son was scoring almost 30 per game for Davidson last season, Stephen Curry’s mom got more TV time than his teammates.  This year she’ll be following a different son (Seth) and a different team (Duke) but the MILF cam will capture plenty of crowd shots of Dale Curry’s smoking hot wife.
19.) Who is this year’s George Mason?  How ’bout George Mason?
20.) Kemba Walker. Next…
21.) Even Hilary Swank thinks Chandler Parsons looks like a lesbian.
22.) Princeton is the best team in the Ivy League. That’s like being the whitest team in the SWAC.
23.) Coach K is saying Kyrie Irving could return to the Duke lineup for the NCAA Tournament. Someone please step on his toe.
24.) Oakland’s Keith Benson isn’t going to let Texas advance without a fight. He has help too. Look out, Longhorns.
25.) St. John’s will have to win big games outside of Madison Square Garden.
26.) Yes, there is a team named the Peacocks in the NCAA Tournament.
27.) Colorado. They’re not in? Oh, nevermind.
28.) Keep your television programming guide by your side at all times. Games are going to be shown all over your cable box and, if you’re like me, finding TruTV can’t be done without a cheat sheet.
29.) Notre Dame will be reprimanded once the NCAA finds out Luke Harangody is still playing for the Irish. You can tell me that’s a different big white guy with a flat top all you want – it’s Luke Harangody. I will not believe otherwise.
30.) Purdue point guard Kelsey Barlow has been suspended for the remainder of the season for conduct detrimental to the program.
31.) Xavier has the A-10 Player of the Year in Tu Holloway. He’s ready to disrespect Marquette’s defense.
32.) Long Island has one player from New York, two from Texas, one from Switzerland, and four from Canada. Please explain the recruiting strategy.
33.) It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone, and Kentucky needs Terrence Jones now. It’s his last chance to win over my affection.
34.) Alabama. They’re not in either? Geez…
35.) The thought of a Jared Sullinger/Josh Harrellson matchup in the Sweet 16 makes me very, very happy.
36.) The Steven Pearl Era in Tennessee is coming to an end. Enjoy his final moments in orange while they last.
37.) Here’s a challenge for you, name two players on San Diego State’s roster. You should be embarrassed.
38.) Hey, look! Harrison Barnes showed up. I wondered where he was.
39.) Indiana State is capable of shooting over that Syracuse zone all day long. It could get interesting if they’re hitting them.
40.) Kenneth Faried. Next…
41.) For the first time in almost a decade, it is safe to say Michigan State will not make the Final Four.  I think.
42.) The NCAA paired up Arizona and Memphis, putting Tigers head coach Josh Pastner against his former team. Pastner was to be an Arizona Wildcat for life until he was passed up for the associate head coach job when Lute Olson stepped down.
43.) If West Virginia beats Kentucky again, well, I don’t even want to think about it.
44.) Purdue is going to be a two-man team with JaJuan Johnson and E’Twaun Moore. That’s not necessarily a bad thing for the Boilermakers.
45.) Kansas State will either lose in the first round or make it to the Final Four. There is no in-between.
46.) Without the dreadlocks, Alex Tyus is nothing more than a running, jumping ‘Before’ picture for a Bosley Medical commercial.
47.) Florida State’s Chris Singleton will suit up for the first time in over a month. He’s the team’s leading scorer, rebounder, and the best defender. How will he hold up?
48.) Mark Fox should be banned from calling any timeouts in the tournament.
49.) I have a fever and the only cure is more buzzer beaters.
50.) BYU and San Diego State… Are they legit?
51.) If he continues to improve in each game like he has, Darius Miller will be looking like a Top 10 pick by the time Kentucky reaches the Final Four.
52.) Ohio State is good but I don’t think they have the depth to win it all.  If Sullinger gets in foul trouble at any point in the tournament, it’ll be night-night for the Buckeyes.
53.) I wonder if Villanova will finally decide to show up. Eh, probably not.
54.) Everyone should download the March Madness On Demand iPhone app. It’s free. And it’s awesome.
55.) Brandon Davies was suspended for leading BYU in scoring off the court. I’d be shocked if Jimmer Fredette hasn’t been taking it to the hole too.
56.) I’m already tired of King of Leon. I just keep telling myself to be thankful it’s not the Black Eyed Peas.
57.) Robbie Hummel just tore his ACL again.
58.) The potential second round matchup of Duke vs. Tennessee has me intrigued. And by intrigued, I mean tempted to do something awful to Time Warner Cable Arena.
59.) I wouldn’t seriously do anything to Time Warner Cable Arena during a Duke/Tennessee game. The game is evil enough to implode the building on its own.
60.) Does Levance Fields still play for Pittsburgh?
61.) If you think you’ve got the bracket figured out, chances are you couldn’t be any more wrong. That’s just how it goes.
62.) Chris Wright returns to the Georgetown lineup for the first time since breaking his hand against Cincinnati in February. The Hoyas went 0-4 without Wright running the point.
63.) Missouri is a scary 11-seed. I guarantee you the Tigers will beat Cincinnati in the first round.
64.) Writing a list with 68 points is not as easy as it sounded when I sat down.
65.) The NCAA must hate the state of Pennsylvania. Temple and Penn State have to play each other in the first round… in Tucson, Arizona.
66.) The Dove Commercials with John Thompson III and Bobby Hurley are enough to make me watch The Real Housewives of Newark over any NCAA tournament game.
67.) Word of advice: Don’t be that guy who updates everyone you come in contact with on how your bracket is doing. No one cares and everyone knows you’re lying about it anyway.
68.) Go Cats.

It’s finally here, folks. It’s finally here.

March Madness.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

52 Comments for 68 Random NCAA Tournament Thoughts



  1. Justin
    11:05 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    First!? Go CATS!!!



  2. RidgeRunner
    11:05 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Damn Drew…work in a trip to pee and get something to eat dude!

    Personally, when I get over 2 things on my mind, I am lost. So, nice job!



  3. univky
    11:06 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    For #18 above….Dell > Dale



  4. phishpanic22
    11:07 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Awesome job Drew. Your #12 was the best. He reminds me of the bully off the movie “The Christmas Story” just with more hair.



  5. Tshirt
    11:08 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    i think Cincinnati advances, but if they don’t i’m telling everyone i picked Mizzou



  6. Tshirt
    11:10 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    i’m pretty sure 12 on the list is a pic of Kyle from South Park with his hat off



  7. Kevin Bacon's Dancemoves
    11:14 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    #58—Instant Classic!



  8. RidgeRunner
    11:16 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    57 is my favorite…crude but made me really laugh out loud. I’m sick and yes, I know it.



  9. catinhat
    11:17 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Link to Curry’s wife???



  10. Douggercats
    11:20 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Nice, Drew. Thanks for not giving this assignment to BTI….or God Forbid, Mark Story.



  11. Linden Ferguson
    11:21 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Drew…you could have made it 69 things….*insert Sypher/Morehead joke here*



  12. catinhat
    11:21 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Holy crap – search results on Google Images for “Dale Curry’s wife” not so good.

    “Dell”, as 3 said. Important distinction, trust me.



  13. Blue Blood
    11:22 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Thought #55 is the greatest thing I’ve read today!



  14. UKChillFan
    11:29 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Ricky Three Sacks wanted 69 Drew



  15. Cat fan in atlanta
    11:32 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    The jokes are heavy on the back end, just like Ricky P’s skanks.



  16. Kings of Leon
    11:34 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    The Immortals is like the 10th best song on our new album. Seriously Franklin, you should listen to the entire CD before making asinine comments about one of the few talented rock bands that are left in the alternative music industry.



  17. David E.
    11:35 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Bloody Brilliant Drew! An awesome read. 🙂



  18. Eldrick's Wood
    11:35 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    I hope Huggins gets knock by the Tigers so he can get back to his moonshine and single-wide trailer in WV



  19. ATLCat
    11:36 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    The NCAA just announced that Levance Fields will be granted another 4 years of eligibility…expect to see him running the point for the Panthers around 3:30 today



  20. GoCats2
    11:38 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Great job Drew but I will argue the first one stating that Ohio State showed dominance this year. I dont think they beat anyone outside of the Big Ten other than Florida and that was in November when Florida was losing to Jacksonville. Ohio State is good but they do not scare me.



  21. CatsFanInKnoxville
    11:39 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Get this Loserville guy off of Matt’s radio show. Terry is great, but Sid is terrible.



  22. John a logan
    11:44 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Stan simspon wants UK fans to follow him on twitter he wants 2500 by tomorrow he has around 1900 now let’s help him out and show him Wht we can do and I guarantee he will be a cat next year!



  23. Juice
    11:46 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Anybody know if game times have been announced for Saturday yet? I can’t find any info anywhere.



  24. RidgeRunner
    11:48 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    18…Easy now. We got a lot of that (minus Huggy Bear) right here in Kentucky.
    😉



  25. I shoot 4s
    11:49 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    16. Hahahaha, best joke I’ve heard in a long time!!!



  26. knightynight
    11:50 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    67 is the best and drives me nuts



  27. RidgeRunner
    11:50 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    23…They aren’t announced until later in the first day (today) of the tourney’s first 2 rounds.

  28. I didn’t know Napoleon Dynamite was playing college bball???!!!



  29. UK fan in Duke country
    11:51 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    “55.)Brandon Davies was suspended for leading BYU in scoring off the court. I’d be shocked if Jimmer Fredette hasn’t been taking it to the hole too.”

    Unreal. I laughed out loud in the library. I’ll be quoting this all tournament.



  30. manu1433
    11:52 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    thought 69) maggard already knows who is gonna win…but is going to be wrong on purpose



  31. NBA league pass
    11:53 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    anybody know the best link to watch this online today??



  32. Mark hamilton
    11:53 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    29. Agreed. Far and away the best line



  33. Juice
    11:54 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Thanks ridgerunner. Someone’s trying to get me to work Saturday morning and afternoon and I’m not doing it if the cats are playing.



  34. CatBlue in LR
    11:54 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    I’d be shocked if Jimmer Fredette hasn’t been taking it to the hole too.
    Better hope Jimmer doesn’t see this. That could be actionably libelous.



  35. riley
    11:54 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    “I am Coach Cal. And I see a whole army of Wildcats,
    here in defiance of tyranny! You have come to fight as free men. And
    free man you are! What will you do without freedom? Will you fight?”
    “Two thousand against ten?” – the veteran shouted. “No! We will
    run – and live!”
    “Yes!” coach cal shouted back. “Fight and you may die. Run and you
    will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now,
    would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for
    one chance, just one cahnce, to come back here as young men and tell
    our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take
    our freedom!”
    OOOOOOOO C A T S Cats cats cats….

    LET GET AFTER IT………



  36. BigRudy
    11:55 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Just wanted to post and say that the Kings of Leon blow.



  37. RidgeRunner
    11:55 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    33..Juice, understood bud. Good luck!



  38. Laker Cat 18
    11:55 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    I’m surprised #15 didn’t include a cheap shot at the little guy up the road’s “happy time.”



  39. Indyblueblood
    11:58 am March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Awesome post! Laughed so hard I got a cramp… of course I’m old, out of shape, and dehydrated, but funny, very funny.



  40. RidgeRunner
    12:01 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    39…and you promise your not Bobby Knight………….right?



  41. Why?
    12:01 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Why all the love for Gus Johnson? He is okay but everyone acts as if he is the best play by play guy in the business. He is average at best. Sure he screams at exciting moments in the game. That makes him great?



  42. lebron james
    12:10 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Why? < a chris burke fart.



  43. Viren
    12:13 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Good luck to Cats today as they take on Princeton Tigers!!! Quest for #8 begins today leave it all on the floor and let’s see what happens next!!!



  44. RidgeRunner
    12:14 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    39…On 2nd thought…ya said ya laughed –so that rules you being Knight out. My bad.



  45. Viren
    12:15 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    #41 I will take Gus Johnson, Sean McDonough, and Kevin Harlan are the best in the business.



  46. DirecTV
    12:42 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    If you have me and complain about not finding Tru-TV, you too dumb to own a television and I question your ability to read this post. In the event that your toothless friend is reading it aloud for you and you can comprehend what’s being read, Tru-TV is channel 246. That’s right, one below TBS and one above TNT. Makes sense right?! Yeah, we thought so too.



  47. Tom Blevins
    1:14 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Re: Drews comment 16 Remember, nobody recruited Kanter except Kentucky. The president of the University of Washington said so. (Don’t feel too bad, Huskies fans. Back in the late 80s Kentucky had a president that didn’t know his hiney from a hole in the groud. Honest, he was once seen with a piece of toilet paper wiping a hole in the ground. And if you think that was bad, you should have seen where he was trying to put a pair of post hole diggers.)



  48. EW
    1:26 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Prediction: The Big East won’t go .500 over the first weekend and Pitt won’t make it out of the sweet 16 even though their bracket is terrible.



  49. Larry
    1:39 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    Looks like you stole this post from Forde.. (Forde Minutes)



  50. CatBlue in LR
    1:57 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    @41… I agree. It’s over-the-top for some reason. Sean McDonough is P-B-P precision. Much better than young Gus, IMHO.



  51. Blueneck
    2:55 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    point 18 – it’s DELL Curry, not Dale (and no relation to Bill), pretend like you know some basketball



  52. FloridaCat
    7:50 pm March 17, 2011 Permalink

    An answer to question number twelve. Introducing his long lost cousin:

    http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Mustafa+Amini+League+Rd+19+Gold+Coast+v+Mariners+SDs9mWUP0IQl.jpg