There are a lot of things on my mind today. 68 things to be exact…
1.) This March is going to be mad. Outside of Ohio State, no team showed any dominance in the regular season and many believe this is the weakest field in recent memory. Good luck with those brackets.
2.) The selection committee has no idea what they’re doing. Clueless.
3.) The Big East better make some noise. With 11 teams in the tournament, the Big East will never hear the end of it if the conference has a poor showing.
4.) Why is there a First Four round again? Send ’em home or let ’em in. I don’t need to watch NIT-caliber games to get me ready for the dance.
5.) You want upsets? Look to the Southeast. Anyone can emerge from the Southeast Region. I’m looking at you, Belmont.
6.) Jimmer Fredette. Next…
7.) Can CBS just put Gus Johnson in a sound booth and have him call the last two minutes of every close game?
8.) According to reports out of Pittsburgh, both of Gary McGhee’s ankles were broken in Pitt’s Big East Tournament loss to UConn. McGhee will play in the tournament but McGhee has asked that all evidence of the injury be removed from YouTube.
9.) Arkansas Little-Rock’s loss to UNC-Asheville really messed up my bracket. I had #16 UALR beating #1 Pittsburgh.
10.) The studio show could be more entertaining than the actual games. Charles Barkley will be part of the coverage. “I may be, I may be wrong…”
11.) North Carolina doesn’t miss Larry Drew. At all.
12.) WTF is this?
13.) Doron Lamb was seen wearing a walking boot on campus. Let’s hope he’s wearing his goggles in the tournament. #LEGGOO
14.) Kansas drew another “B” team. In 2005, the Jayhawks lost in the first round to Bradley. Bucknell sent Kansas home the following year.
15.) Jennifer Hudson better not get within 500 miles of my television. Bring back Luther.
16.) Washington could make a run in the tournament. Just imagine how good they’d be if they had Enes Kanter.
17.) … and Terrence Jones.
18.) While her son was scoring almost 30 per game for Davidson last season, Stephen Curry’s mom got more TV time than his teammates. This year she’ll be following a different son (Seth) and a different team (Duke) but the MILF cam will capture plenty of crowd shots of Dale Curry’s smoking hot wife.
19.) Who is this year’s George Mason? How ’bout George Mason?
20.) Kemba Walker. Next…
21.) Even Hilary Swank thinks Chandler Parsons looks like a lesbian.
22.) Princeton is the best team in the Ivy League. That’s like being the whitest team in the SWAC.
23.) Coach K is saying Kyrie Irving could return to the Duke lineup for the NCAA Tournament. Someone please step on his toe.
24.) Oakland’s Keith Benson isn’t going to let Texas advance without a fight. He has help too. Look out, Longhorns.
25.) St. John’s will have to win big games outside of Madison Square Garden.
26.) Yes, there is a team named the Peacocks in the NCAA Tournament.
27.) Colorado. They’re not in? Oh, nevermind.
28.) Keep your television programming guide by your side at all times. Games are going to be shown all over your cable box and, if you’re like me, finding TruTV can’t be done without a cheat sheet.
29.) Notre Dame will be reprimanded once the NCAA finds out Luke Harangody is still playing for the Irish. You can tell me that’s a different big white guy with a flat top all you want – it’s Luke Harangody. I will not believe otherwise.
30.) Purdue point guard Kelsey Barlow has been suspended for the remainder of the season for conduct detrimental to the program.
31.) Xavier has the A-10 Player of the Year in Tu Holloway. He’s ready to disrespect Marquette’s defense.
32.) Long Island has one player from New York, two from Texas, one from Switzerland, and four from Canada. Please explain the recruiting strategy.
33.) It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone, and Kentucky needs Terrence Jones now. It’s his last chance to win over my affection.
34.) Alabama. They’re not in either? Geez…
35.) The thought of a Jared Sullinger/Josh Harrellson matchup in the Sweet 16 makes me very, very happy.
36.) The Steven Pearl Era in Tennessee is coming to an end. Enjoy his final moments in orange while they last.
37.) Here’s a challenge for you, name two players on San Diego State’s roster. You should be embarrassed.
38.) Hey, look! Harrison Barnes showed up. I wondered where he was.
39.) Indiana State is capable of shooting over that Syracuse zone all day long. It could get interesting if they’re hitting them.
40.) Kenneth Faried. Next…
41.) For the first time in almost a decade, it is safe to say Michigan State will not make the Final Four. I think.
42.) The NCAA paired up Arizona and Memphis, putting Tigers head coach Josh Pastner against his former team. Pastner was to be an Arizona Wildcat for life until he was passed up for the associate head coach job when Lute Olson stepped down.
43.) If West Virginia beats Kentucky again, well, I don’t even want to think about it.
44.) Purdue is going to be a two-man team with JaJuan Johnson and E’Twaun Moore. That’s not necessarily a bad thing for the Boilermakers.
45.) Kansas State will either lose in the first round or make it to the Final Four. There is no in-between.
46.) Without the dreadlocks, Alex Tyus is nothing more than a running, jumping ‘Before’ picture for a Bosley Medical commercial.
47.) Florida State’s Chris Singleton will suit up for the first time in over a month. He’s the team’s leading scorer, rebounder, and the best defender. How will he hold up?
48.) Mark Fox should be banned from calling any timeouts in the tournament.
49.) I have a fever and the only cure is more buzzer beaters.
50.) BYU and San Diego State… Are they legit?
51.) If he continues to improve in each game like he has, Darius Miller will be looking like a Top 10 pick by the time Kentucky reaches the Final Four.
52.) Ohio State is good but I don’t think they have the depth to win it all. If Sullinger gets in foul trouble at any point in the tournament, it’ll be night-night for the Buckeyes.
53.) I wonder if Villanova will finally decide to show up. Eh, probably not.
54.) Everyone should download the March Madness On Demand iPhone app. It’s free. And it’s awesome.
55.) Brandon Davies was suspended for leading BYU in scoring off the court. I’d be shocked if Jimmer Fredette hasn’t been taking it to the hole too.
56.) I’m already tired of King of Leon. I just keep telling myself to be thankful it’s not the Black Eyed Peas.
57.) Robbie Hummel just tore his ACL again.
58.) The potential second round matchup of Duke vs. Tennessee has me intrigued. And by intrigued, I mean tempted to do something awful to Time Warner Cable Arena.
59.) I wouldn’t seriously do anything to Time Warner Cable Arena during a Duke/Tennessee game. The game is evil enough to implode the building on its own.
60.) Does Levance Fields still play for Pittsburgh?
61.) If you think you’ve got the bracket figured out, chances are you couldn’t be any more wrong. That’s just how it goes.
62.) Chris Wright returns to the Georgetown lineup for the first time since breaking his hand against Cincinnati in February. The Hoyas went 0-4 without Wright running the point.
63.) Missouri is a scary 11-seed. I guarantee you the Tigers will beat Cincinnati in the first round.
64.) Writing a list with 68 points is not as easy as it sounded when I sat down.
65.) The NCAA must hate the state of Pennsylvania. Temple and Penn State have to play each other in the first round… in Tucson, Arizona.
66.) The Dove Commercials with John Thompson III and Bobby Hurley are enough to make me watch The Real Housewives of Newark over any NCAA tournament game.
67.) Word of advice: Don’t be that guy who updates everyone you come in contact with on how your bracket is doing. No one cares and everyone knows you’re lying about it anyway.
68.) Go Cats.
It’s finally here, folks. It’s finally here.