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100 Great Americans: A KSR 4th of July Special

There have been many great Americans over the years, so many that it would be impossible to list them all. But on this July 4th of 2012, I did my best to list 100 of my favorites to ever represent the red, the white, and the blue.

So here are 100 great Americans, unnumbered and in no particular order to prevent controversy. Each one is equally as great as the next.

——————————-

John F. Kennedy

JFK did more in his short term as President than many have done in four years. His accomplishments include establishing the Peace Corps, diverting a nuclear war with the Soviet Union, removing missiles from Cuba, proposing the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and sleeping with Marilyn Monroe.

Jack Bauer

If not for Jack Bauer, every single American would’ve died in one of the many terrorist attacks he single-handedly prevented while running from corruption at CTU and in the White House and protecting his family from enemies, foreign and domestic.

He’s also #TeamNoSleep

Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson is on this list for two reasons, both artificial.

And voluptuous.

Bill Samuels, Sr.

Many great Americans have had a hand in the production of bourbon, the nectar of the Gods, but none like Bill Samuels, Sr. He purchased a distillery in 1954 in Loretto, Ky, and four years later, Kentucky had its first bottle of Maker’s Mark.

Cheers.

Burt Reynolds

Tell me when to stop…

Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, his mustache, Striptease, The Longest Yard, Boogie Nights, Deliverance…

Okay, I could’ve gone without seeing Deliverance.

Forrest Gump

He won the Congressional Medal of Honor; returned kicks for the Alabama Crimson Tide, where he was a First Team All-American; represented America in China on the All-American ping-pong team, using his Flexolite ping-pong paddle; founded the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.; invested early in Apple Computers; taught Elvis Presley how to move his hips; taught Jenny how to dangle; drank 15 Dr. Peppers in The White House (he wasn’t hungry); inspired the “Shit Happens” bumper sticker and “Have A Nice Day” t-shirt; and because he liked doing it, he mowed that grass for free.

I could go on forever.

Abigail Adams

The wife of America’s second President, Abigail Adams wrote letters to her husband while he was away in Philadelphia during the Continental Congress. The letters serve as eyewitness accounts of the American Revolutionary War home front.

John Calipari

John Vincent Calipari was born the grandson of a Pennsylvania coal miner and he turned those humble beginnings into a hall of fame NCAA basketball coaching career. U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell once told him, “WOW! You’re making more millionaires than a Wall Street firm!”

He also runs a thriving frozen yogurt business.

Muhammad Ali

G.O.A.T.

Anna Nicole Smith

If the American Dream is posing nude and sleeping with wealthy old men, Anna Nicole Smith lived it. She lived it to the fullest.

Bill Cosby

Cliff Huxtable doesn’t make this list, but if you throw in the sweaters and the puddin’ pops, Bill Cosby cannot be ignored.

Sexual harassment is pretty American, too.

Kate Upton

God bless America. Land that I love.

George Washington

No explanation needed.

Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones

One college professor of archaeology you don’t want to mess with, especially when he teams up with a young Asian boy.

Get within 8 to 10 ft. of him and feel the wrath of his bullwhip.

Chris Farley

Before Magic Mike, it was Chris Farley dancing topless on SNL’s Chippendale’s stage.

” I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull’s ass, but I’d rather take a butcher’s word for it.”

Gordon Bombay

Without Gordon Bombay, there is no Charlie Conway and the Mighty Ducks. Without Charlie Conway and the Mighty Ducks, my childhood is empty.

Honorable Mention: Hans

George Herman Ruth

“The Babe” / “The Sultan of Swat” / “The Bambino”

Baseball’s biggest name.

Neil Armstrong

Armstrong made one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind… in a private Hollywood studio somewhere.

LeVar Burton

He opened books. He opened minds.

Reading Rainbow shaped the future of America.

The 3 Ninjas

Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum made visiting the grandparents each summer cool. If only everyone had a grandfather that was a master of martial arts, America would be a much safer place.

Wilt Chamberlain

“Wilt the Stilt” may or may not have scored 100 points in a basketball game. If true, he is a great American. If not true, he still slept with over 20,000 women, so he is a great American with more diseases than a Third World country.

Chelsey Sullenberger

“Oh, both engines are disabled???

And the left one is on fire???

No problem.

I’ll just set this U.S. Airways Airbus A230 with 155 passengers down safely in the middle of the Hudson River.

Like a boss.”

Francis Scott Key

I like to believe “The Star-Spangled Banner” was a freestyle. One take.

Walter White

America’s favorite chemistry teacher turned drug dealer.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan

How can we forget a man who chants “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” while carrying a 2×4 in one hand and an American flag in the other????

It’d be treason to leave Hacksaw Jim Duggan off this list.

Antoine Dodson

He changed the Internet forever while putting fear into all the rapists in Lincoln Park.

You’re a great American, Antoine Dodson. A great American.

Rudy Ruettiger

Let’s turn on Rudy right now and I bet half of you start crying.

Am I wrong???

Molly Ringwald

The one from the 1980s, not the current one.

Tupac Shakur

The real one, not the hologram one.

Sitting Bull

This list needed a Native American (gotta keep NARF off my back) and Sitting Bull is the first one that came to mind. I don’t remember exactly what he achieved, but I know he shot arrows and painted his face.

Michael Jackson (Black)

White Michael Jackson is an honorable mention.

Tiffani Amber Thiessen

If you were a young man with a television in the 90s, then you know exactly who this is and why she is on the list. If you fall in any other category, she was Kelly Kapowski in Saved By The Bell and Valerie Malone in Beverly Hills, 90201.

Tiffani Amber Thiessen is the reason behind many a nocturnal emissions for 80s babies.

Cousin Eddie

“Shitter was full.”

Dick Clark

Dick Clark was on television before the television was invented, ringing in the new year and dancing the night away.

He’ll be missed this NYE 2013.

Hootie & The Blowfish

“Cracked Rear View” will forever hold a place in my CD changer.

Editor’s note: Darius Rucker doesn’t count.

Rosa Parks

Not only was it a great song by Outkast, but Rosa Parks was one of the leaders of the Civil Rights movement.

Parks was a true pioneer in calling “shotgun.”

Herman Melville

An American novelist, short story writer, essayist, and poet, best known for Moby Dick.

He paved the way for another author you’ll find further down this list.

Reggie White

“The Minister of Defense” was the meanest, nicest guy to ever play football.

He holds 2nd place all-time amongst career sack leaders with 198.5.

Betsy Ross

She made the first American flag with her bare hands. And some sewing utensils, of course.

Her craftsmanship is unparalleled in the flag sewing industry.

Lloyd Christmas

He has no food, no job, and HIS PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Clint Eastwood

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Should Clint Eastwood be on this list? Well, should he, punk?

I say yes. And don’t even think about getting on his lawn.

Oprah Winfrey

By putting Oprah on this list, everyone reading it will receive a spa package valued at $65, a copy of 27 Dresses on DVD, and a brand new Ford Fusion.

R.L. Stine

The king of American literature.

I own the entire Goosebumps catalog, from Welcome To The Dead House to Monster Blood IV.

John Short

The greatest of great Americans, according to Kentucky Sports Radio listeners.

He’ll be at the Romany Road Kroger tomorrow from 10:00 to 2:00.

Henry Ford

Founder of the Ford Motor Company. We’d still be riding horses, if not for him.

Turtle Man

“Yee-yee-yee-yeeeeeee!!!”

Live action.

The Notorious B.I.G.

He used to read Word Up magazine.

If you don’t know, now ya know.

Kevin Systrom

Creator of Instagram.

Yeah, I’m addicted to it. I’m not proud of it. Follow me: drew_franklin

Glen Bell

Founder of Taco Bell.

Thank you for everything you’ve done.

Hulk Hogan

Hogan is slowly working his way out of this list, but I’ll leave him for now.

He better eat his vitamins, say his prayers, and quit doing reality shows if he wants to make the list next year.

Martha Washington

She slept with George Washington, which means she is more American than you and I could ever imagine being.

Sean Carter

Or, Jay-Z as he is known in most circles.

HOVA!

Benjamin Franklin

He did it all. No, really. He did everything. I don’t even know where to start. He changed the game in all aspects of life.

Steve McNair

I dare you to challenge this selection.

Dog The Bounty Hunter

Okay, this one is questionable.

Samuel L. Jackson

Name someone cooler than Samuel L. Jackson.

Don’t worry. I’ll wait.

Kenny Powers

Eastbound & Down continually got worse with each new episode, but that doesn’t mean season one wasn’t the best thing to ever hit television.

“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called Patriotism.”

Vinnie Connors

General manager of Jack Demsey’s in New York City.

Even Bill Samuels would be impressed by the amount of Maker’s this guy gives out to customers.

Dick Cantrell

Every time a girl walks by you wearing yoga pants, just know that Dick Cantrell made that beautiful scene you’re staring at possible.

Cantrell is the man behind the yoga pants revolution, and I’ll always be indebted to him for that.

He’s doing God’s work.

Jeff Upton

Father of Kate Upton.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

John McClane

Some have said he’s just another American who thinks he is John Wayne, but McClane insists he was always partial to Roy Rogers.

“Yippee-ki-yay, mother…”

Steve Jobs

90% of you are using one of his products right now. The other 10% are saving up to buy one.

Pat Tillman

Tillman gave up his NFL playing career and enlisted in the United States Army in June 2002 in the aftermath of the September 11, 2001, attacks. He joined the Army Rangers and served several tours in combat before he died in the mountains of Afghanistan.

They just don’t make enough of ’em like Pat Tillman.

Marc Summers

He slimed America as host of Double Dare and What Would You Do? on Nickelodeon in the late 80s and early 90s. Kids would kill to be on his show back then.

Bill Keightley

“Mr. Wildcat”

Chet Steadman

Former pitcher for the Chicago Cubs and mentor to Henry Rowengartner.

George Washington Carver

Born into slavery, later invented peanut butter.

What a story. What a delicious spread.

Phil Knight

Co-founder and chairman of Nike.

Also on the “Biggest Asshole” lists in South Korea and Taiwan.

Fred B. Purnell

The man behind the creation of bacon isn’t American, so I went with the next best thing: The man behind Purnell’s Old Folks Country Sausage.

“It’s gooooood.”

Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln is a top 5 pick for greatest Americans. He saved the Union, freed the slaves, and saw the better half of Our American Cousin live at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

If you thought regular Abraham Lincoln was a badass, just imagine how awesome the vampire hunting version of Abraham Lincoln was.

Mind. Blown.

Lieutenant Dan

“ICE CREAM!!!!!”

Johnny Cash

“The Man In Black” who sang “Folsom Prison Blues”

John Madden

The real one, not the Frank Caliendo one.

I can’t stand Frank Caliendo.

President Thomas J. Whitmore

On July 4, 1996, while aliens approached planet Earth for attack, President Thomas J. Whitmore stood in the bed of an M34 truck on a U.S. Air Force base and delivered the most powerful speech this country has ever heard:

“In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist and should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, ‘We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive.’ Today we celebrate our independence day!”

Louis C.K.

Stand-up comedian. Hilarious.

Jackie Robinson

The first black Major League Baseball player of the modern era.

Charles Barkley

The NBA analyst, not the NBA player.

Benjamin Martin

Mel Gibson’s character in The Patriot.

John Belushi

American comedian and cocaine enthusiast.

Animal House will never get old.

Al Bundy

Proud parent, loving husband, and sales associate at Gary’s Shoes and Accessories for Today’s Woman in Chicago.

Jack Nicklaus

The best golfer to never sleep with a Perkins waitress; nicknamed “The Golden Bear”

He won a record 18 PGA major championships.

Tony Soprano

Is he dead??? Is he alive???

Still mad about that ending.

The Fat Kid In Bad Santa

Just because.

Jimmy Buffett

Anyone who has been to a Jimmy Buffett concert, or at least tailgated for one, knows exactly why Jimmy is on this list.

Nobody parties like Parrotheads. NOBODY.

Fins up!

Hugh Hefner

Obviously.

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist

The best thing to happen to Charlotte, North Carolina since NASCAR.

Andy Griffith

Rest in peace.

Eddie Money

I request four songs every time I see a jukebox at a bar.

“Take Me Home Tonight” is three of them.

Stephen Colbert

… Is America (And So Can You!)

Jeffrey Ross

The celebrity roasts on Comedy Central are America’s guilty pleasure and Jeffrey Ross is the mastermind that makes them funny.

“How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?”

Frank Sinatra

Smoother than silk. Cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Morgan Freeman

Because he’s Morgan Freeman.

That’s why.

John Q

When his son is diagnosed with an enlarged heart and then finds out he cannot receive a transplant because HMO insurance will not cover it, John Q takes a hospital full of patients hostage until his son’s name is on the recipient’s list.

Spoiler: His son lives.

Billy Mays

The only reason you bought the Awesome Auger, Mighty Putty, and two Vidalia Slice Wizards.

The man could sell Orange Glo to stained wood.

Thomas Jefferson

He authored the Declaration of Independence, passed the statute of Religious Freedom in Virginia, and founded the University of Virginia.

Soon it’ll come out that he murdered zombies or slayed dragons in his spare time.

Lee Greenwood

Some will argue that Lee Greenwood is a draft dodger — yeah, so what?

Listen to “God Bless The U.S.A.” one time and tell me his isn’t a great American.

Derek Jeter

It’s even hard for Yankees haters to ignore Derek Jeter.

He’s on here, but it wasn’t easy.

Joey Chestnut

America’s favorite eater downed 68 hot dogs this year to win his sixth consecutive Nathan’s Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Kate Upton

Yes, again.

I want to stand beside her and guide her through the night with a light from above.

 

Happy Birthday, America!

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

113 Comments for 100 Great Americans: A KSR 4th of July Special



  1. Wildcat Willie says
    9:40 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    You’re a liberal democrat aren’t you?



  2. UK Freshmen
    9:45 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Where’s Reagan????? JFK? Good gawd.



  3. Gus Chiggins
    9:50 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Well done my man… But you forgot jimmy chitwood



  4. GoCats2010
    9:50 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Viva La DREW



  5. lane taylor
    9:52 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Great list. But thanks for listing my great grandfather, Fred B. Purnell. His oldest son Fred Purnell Jr. was my granddad, he owned Purnells for about twenty years. I know I’m biased but Purnell’s is by far the best sauage around and its good to know others outside of my family feel the same way. Thanks for the support. And they have been sponsors of UK basketball for over thirty years, BBN all the way!!!!!!



  6. HillbillyInBC
    9:53 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Pamela Anderson is Canadian, but her “reasons” are probably American. Derek Jeter is missing his bold tag.

    Good stuff.



  7. Matt Jones
    10:00 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Strong work Drew



  8. Matt from Idaho
    10:02 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    No John Short!?



  9. $$
    10:03 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Muhammad Ali lmao

    He was a draft dodger, great american lol yea right.



  10. Murica
    10:06 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    No helmetguy???



  11. SeaCat
    10:07 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    JFK was a total whack job!
    Why didn’t Obama make the commie list?



  12. iHateLouisville
    10:09 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I can tell you’re a liberal drew.



  13. SadBlue
    10:10 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    No Medal of Honor winners….hmmm……
    Where was Anthony Davis?!?!



  14. elkcity2224
    10:13 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    How is this a list of 100 great Americans with no mention of John Short.



  15. Learn to read
    10:18 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    John Short is above Henry Ford



  16. cat-tastic
    10:22 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Ur best post ever.



  17. Philliponminutsak
    10:23 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I love when you right wing idiots get so worked up and comment on a funny list like its for real. Go play with your Ronald Reagan blow up doll.



  18. It is suppose to be funny
    10:27 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    half the people on the list are fictional characters and several comments about Drew being a liberal or a Democrat. Get a grip. Try laughing.



  19. KyColonel
    10:28 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    JFK is just on here to fit in with “the most ridiculous manner” schtick of the website.



  20. macon_volfan
    10:29 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I still say Matt’s barber deserves a mention…



  21. Blue
    10:31 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    WTF? not a single porn star?
    SMH This is America!!



  22. Legion
    10:31 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I love how the KSR guys are all about Kate Upton, but she probably couldn’t pick them out of a line-up.



  23. Ryan
    10:35 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I challenge Steve McNair’s selection. (Whatcha gon’ do ’bout it?!) Especially when Kige Ramsey and Anthony Davis didn’t make the list.



  24. Axe Cop
    10:36 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    1. Rick Astley is British.
    2. Hootie sucks.



  25. Hmmm
    10:39 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Pam Anderson is Canadian. #fail



  26. Royce White
    10:41 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    FORREST GUMPS A KID IMA MAN!



  27. kes
    10:47 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    need more liberals on this list! thank god you didnt put those POS reagan, either bush or cheney



  28. that one guy
    10:50 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Dakota Meyer?? Think we missed one there



  29. dave
    10:53 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    maybe ive been reading too many chris thomas/corey nichols posts lately, but this is the best post since pitino trial or uofl hate day



  30. JayCee
    10:53 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Hunter S. Thompson
    Charlie Sheen
    Col. Jeff Cooper
    Lenny Skutnik… look it up.

    Louis C.K.? Give me a GD break, Drewd. Sam Kinison, Lenny Bruce and George Carlin are rolling over in their graves.



  31. CoalFreeCats
    10:55 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Seriously? Only 4 women on this whole list for reasons other than boobs? Even in good jokey fun, this is shameful.



  32. Ap
    10:55 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Needs Seth macfarlane and Walter white



  33. Kona
    11:00 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Ali is a draft dodger and not worthy in my opinion – but this ain’t my list.



  34. 2KATS
    11:03 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Where is the Truth?? For that, this list is void.



  35. macon_volfan
    11:04 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I ain’t got no quarrel with them Viet Cong. No Viet Cong ever called me ni©©er.” -Mr. Ali’s quote.



  36. macon_volfan
    11:05 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    sorry…His mama called his Cassius, I’m gonna call him Cassius.



  37. Bart in Henderson
    11:08 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    CONWAY F’N TWITTY?
    NO CONWAY F’N TWITTY?



  38. ThatsExactlyRight
    11:10 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Drop Pamela Anderson since she is Canadian and add Jenna Jamison!



  39. lumberjackcat
    11:17 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I didn’t read this real close but I didn’t see Johnny Short.



  40. 44 Stitches
    11:18 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    @ #5… I love some Purnell sausage!! I live down in Georgia and my local Kroger’s stopped selling it. I’ve searched high and low for it since with no luck. Don’t feel biased for thinking it’s the best. I think it’s by far the best.

    I don’t know about Hootie and the Blowfish but I do know about Hootie Hoo… my White Owls’s are burning kinda slow.



  41. Matt Jones
    11:22 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Three people on here commented just to say John Short isn’t on the list…when he is on the list.



  42. iWantToBeTheDrewFranklin
    11:27 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Love that you put Jimmy Buffet on the list. Been to a lot of concerts, and his by far the wildest. Noblesville!!



  43. LegalLad
    11:27 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    You’re really going to criticize a list that features the 3 Ninjas (not that they’re not awesome)? Some of you need to lighten up a bit. Nice work Drew. Made me laugh.



  44. Todd
    11:32 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Two Words: Chuck Norris
    Two More Words: John Wayne



  45. What-What
    11:34 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Good list…Tiffany Amber Thiessen…I’d do her still today! Yeah I said it! You would too!

    Oprah…WTF! Pamela Anderson? Wrong country!

    Need to add Superman, Richard Petty, and Larry Flint!



  46. Hal
    11:35 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Honorable Mentions:
    franklin & bash – they were able to get off the “vagina of death”
    Kige – youtube athlete of the year
    harry doyle – major league play-by-play
    “It looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn, and why not, everyone else in the league does”



  47. truBLU
    11:39 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    #35 Dwayne, thats funny considering your…behavior around different, shall we say, “ethnic groups” in social situations, even though I’ve heard you aren’t as bad as you used to be.



  48. thisnamestinks!
    11:43 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Joe Pesci… what ya mean Drew’s funny? Funny how? Does he amuse you?



  49. Cosmo
    11:44 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Cosmo Kramer, George costanza, Bryan Cranston, Demarcus cousins



  50. sugspaul
    11:44 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez, Smalls,somebody from the sandlot



  51. Rich
    11:45 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    Bill Samuals was a dick when i met him at the Cathlic Charities event.



  52. erin
    11:48 pm July 4, 2012 Permalink

    I just want to know how many people over the age of 30 don’t get the “Chet Steadman: Former pitcher for the Chicago Cubs and mentor to Henry Rowengartner” reference



  53. michael
    12:02 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    where is Chesty Puller on this list? did i miss it or do we forget what awesome Americans are?



  54. Murfreesboro cat
    12:03 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    No Cawood Ledford.



  55. Macon_volfan
    12:04 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Being scared in dtown Atlanta doesn’t make one racist, it makes one smart. I’m all about the diversity. I dedicate rainbows.



  56. Macon_volfan
    12:04 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I deficate rainbows, too



  57. Phil
    12:05 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    No CHUCK NORRIS…you will pay



  58. BPsycho
    12:13 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    #22 Zeh lineup!

    Why would she be able to do that did one of them kidnap her ? All guys are about Kate Upton… If they aren’t, their brains have abnormal chemical balances. xd

    *Exhibit A, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bus_154sHyM&feature=related

    #38 How many diseases you need bro? ha



  59. Blueblooded
    12:14 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Forrest Gump never used the Flexolite Paddle. That’s just a little white lie that his momma said was OK to tell.



  60. UKClay
    12:25 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Hilarious stuff



  61. John Tyler
    12:41 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Where was Val kilmer as Doc Holliday



  62. Pancreas
    12:48 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I’m proud to also be named Drew.



  63. jacocat
    12:53 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Icant believe u left out Ashley Judd



  64. jeff
    1:11 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    What about Kige?



  65. Tom Sellecks Mustache
    1:32 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    No DALE EARNHARDT???? wow… also that speech from Indenpendance Day still give me chills



  66. Eyeglasses_4_All
    1:47 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    John Short is there… Why can we not read??



  67. Tommy Callahan
    1:52 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    “I could get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a butcher’s ass.. wait no, it’s gotta be your bull.”



  68. SamKat
    6:18 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I would add Matt Jones, but he may be on there.
    Now, I am not a liberal lawyer, but please add Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Sarah Palin. I also like Newt Gingrich!



  69. reality
    7:01 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Hahahahaha You put 3 rappers on your list. You must either really like the words, “b!tches” and “hoes” or you are overcompensating for someone in your family tree not liking black people. Unless you are a stripper, there is no reason to be happy about the existance of a rapper. Rappers glorify a life that gets black people in jail or dead. Ridiculous. You think ANY black person would put 3 country singers on their list of 100 great Americans? Yeah right!

    2 down, 1 to go…



  70. SexnNursinHomes
    7:04 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Franklin- you forgot John Wayne Gacy. Disappointed man.



  71. Chad in Evansville
    7:12 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Here is a name that needs added to this list, especially ahead of fictional characters, Stephen Foster, writer of My Old Kentucky Home, and Kathy Ireland, that 25th anniversary Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue was glorious, and Whitney Huston. As far as fictional, Ellen Ripley, John Rambo, “Dutch” from Predator, and Charlie Brown.



  72. allan badillion trahern
    7:22 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    John Wayne is probably the greatest American of all time.



  73. barn
    7:37 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    forrest gump didn’t actually win the congressional medal of honor because there is no such person as forrest gump and there is no such thing as a congressional medal of honor. there is however a Medal of Honor which is awarded by the President of the United States to members of the U.S. Armed Forces who have distinguished themselves by acts of bravery. live action



  74. Johnnie the Revelator
    7:44 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    How does one divert a Nuclear War? To where did he divert said Nuclear War?

    You might want to read up on the JFK Civil Rights Record.

    He avoided Nuclear war over the Cuban Missiles. That’s why it’s always called the Cuban Missile Crisis. The Soviets sent those missiles because of JFK. They thought he was weak.

    The Peace Corps? lol



  75. more reality
    7:56 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    A) jfk wasn’t all that great. B) if you are gonna give him props for bang’n MM while he was prez And married, why no love for pitino? He won us a National Championship AND banged chics all along the way. C) I bet if ya had asked jackie onnassis (sp), she wouldn’t have thought ole jfk was all that great either.

    I will say this for jfk, at least he fooled around with hot broads, all slick willy could score were either trailer trash or skanks that were actually larger than hillary.



  76. ehhem
    8:05 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Pete Rose….and John Wayne



  77. DHo
    8:20 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    James…….. T………Kirk. Why? Because he’s the &%$ &*$# Captain, that’s why. Any list should start and end with him.
    I’m out, mo’fos….. Spock, you have the bridge.



  78. kes
    8:31 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    73. clinton was the greatest president of the modern era. low interest rates, plenty of jobs, BOOMING ECONOMY, and the we get g.w.bush….LOL @ conservatives….



  79. cdc_uky
    8:33 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Best post in a long time. The site needs more of this…



  80. Dee
    8:34 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    76…you have no clue….

    as for the list….

    Pete Rose???

    John Wayne???!!!???

    John J. Rambo??!!??

    and….

    KIGE RAMSEY!!!! #SMH



  81. Aaron Craft's Rosacea
    8:38 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Howard Stern should have made this list. Baba Booey!



  82. Azubuike's Bicep
    8:46 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    MacGyver



  83. Toby Keith
    8:49 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Tha f**k?



  84. C-Bone
    8:57 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Fantastic post. Anyone between the ages of 24 and 31 are wiping Mountain Dew off of their monitors right now.



  85. Rusty Shackleford
    9:04 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Any list of great Americans that doesn’t start with John Wayne and Hank Hill is completely invalid… You should really get out of your parents basement more…….



  86. Sally O
    9:05 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Awesome post. Needs more Kate Upton though. Billy Madison: “Soooo hot. Want to touch the hiney. Oooooooo!”



  87. Al's IndiCats
    9:08 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    68, as usual I damn near spit my coffee all over the screen because of you. But seriously, How on earth could he omit Alfred E. Newman? Or Frito Bandit, or Ronald McDonald. They’ve been plumping up Americas children and one of the leading causes for heart congestion for over 50 years.



  88. catGrad7072
    9:18 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    The Greatest Generation should be on here. Otherwise, Drew, you’d be posting in German.



  89. sharon
    9:30 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    how is it that our own Adolph Rupp could not make this list? shameful!



  90. Duke Sucks
    9:54 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    where is Ronald Ragan come on people. He is with out dought the greatest of the last 50 years. Thumbs up.



  91. BD
    10:10 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Henry Hill? People used to carry his ma’s groceries “outta RESPECT!”



  92. Cats Fan CWR
    10:42 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Rudy turned out to be a bit of a scum bag according to the SEC: http://www.sec.gov/news/press/2011/2011-268.htm



  93. JackB
    10:45 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Raylan Givens, John Wayne, Randy Macho Man Savage, Sam Kinison and Ronald Reagan need to be on this list.

    Remove the Canadian boob job, Louis CK, the Bad Santa fat kid and 2 of the 3 rappers. If you need a rapper, it should be Grand Master Flash, but he isn’t American so no rappers should qualify.



  94. Figure the Facts
    10:48 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Out of the 100 listed, MAYBE 10 make the cut as great



  95. Carl
    10:49 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    R U kidding me?? No ADOLPH effing RUPP !!! Without him establishing the tradition/passion of Kentucky basketball we would not be in the position of redefining championship college basketball today…..just sayin’.



  96. Pompus Cat
    11:12 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Muhammad Ali has no business being on this list. I don’t care if he is from KY. He is the opposite of a great american.



  97. Randy Marsh
    11:24 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Well done, Drew…but do you really think the moon landing was staged? C’mon



  98. what the what
    11:38 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I read this whole post. I absolutely cannot believe you left out your own role model, Rick “Rozay” “Ricky Ross the Boss” Ross. Other beefs with this article. Where is Stone Cold Willow? He is a better example of the Kentucky Effect than Terrence Jones will ever be. And what about Mac Miller? He has given hope to white kids with lisps everywhere. Other than that, absolutely flawless.



  99. Kenny F*$^%&# Powers
    11:49 am July 5, 2012 Permalink

    You’re F*$^%&# Out!



  100. Feeling Left Out
    12:09 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Timothy McVeigh and the Unabomber probably should be on the list too. They didn’t do quite as much damage as JFK but they sure tried.



  101. GetReal
    12:13 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Those “accomplishments” by JFK also include escalation of US involvement in Viet Nam and the fiasco at Bay of Pigs.



  102. lexslamman
    12:22 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    This thread is yet more proof that conservatives lack senses of humor.

    And Muhammad Ali is The Greatest – it takes courage and conviction to refuse to fight in a dishonorable war.



  103. No MAAM
    12:28 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Al Bundy scored 4 touchdowns in a single game. How dare you leave that off his list of accomplishments!



  104. mjblue2
    12:49 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    49. you probably met Bill, Jr. Mr. Samuels passed away several years ago.



  105. Blueneck
    1:02 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Chuck Norris!!!!!!!



  106. the anti cat
    2:32 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Thank GOD no ronny ray-gun. Worst so-called preident in the last 30 years.



  107. falling down
    2:39 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I just died a little on the inside reading these comments



  108. CAUKFAN
    3:54 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    FAIL!

    Pamela Anderson is from Canada.



  109. Jonathan Jones
    4:19 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Dakota Meyer is a definate. Plus he is from kentucky. Where is John(duke)Wayne?. Again Pamela anderson is a canadian.



  110. I_like_turtle
    4:52 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    YESSSSSSSSSSS Pumped that Turtle Man made the list. Not only a great American, but also a great KENTUCKIAN



  111. Seriously
    5:20 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    You know what makes me sick? A great American list without Earl Pitts? Wake up America!



  112. thursty13
    9:47 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    I am as conservative as one could be and am in my mid 20’s, but some of the comments coming from fellow conservatives, who clearly possess no sense of humor or basic cognitive skills, are embarrassing and what give the rest of us a bad name. Grow up



  113. Richarduk13
    11:01 pm July 5, 2012 Permalink

    Where is chuck Norris how do u leave out chuck Norris….