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10 Things More Awkward Than The Drew Barker Press Conference If He Chooses USC


Tomorrow afternoon, Drew Barker will go before family, friends and fans in the Conner High School auditorium to announce his college decision. Barker is considering Kentucky, South Carolina, and Tennessee, but many believe it is down to the Wildcats and the Gamecocks. Since Mark Stoops took over, the staff made landing Barker a priority, and had a lot of ground to make up since the previous staff pretty much had no idea who he was. Until the spring game, most believed Barker was a South Carolina lean, but the record-breaking crowd at Commonwealth Stadium opened his eyes to what UK football is about to become. Suddenly, Barker wasn’t as sold on playing for the Ole Ball Coach, and Kentucky was a real contender for his services.

When Barker announced his decision date last week, he invited the general public to attend, which anyone with common sense would say means he’s going to pick Kentucky. However, most national analysts believe that he will choose South Carolina. We’ve gone over the reasons he should be a Cat for the past few weeks–he could be the face of the resurgent UK football program, start a domino effect of top in-state players coming to be heroes at their homestate school, and continue the tradition of UK quarterbacks from Kentucky.

But, what if he puts on that garnet and black Gamecocks hat tomorrow before an auditorium full of Big Blue Fans? That’s going to be pretty darn awkward. Will fans boo? Will the clap politely? Will they cringe and quietly sneak out the back? I still think Barker will choose Kentucky, but if he decides to go to South Carolina, here are ten things more awkward than tomorrow’s press conference:

1) Andrew Wiggins picking Louisville. (Actually, this scenario just makes me want to cry and punch things.)

2) Going on an anti-marriage or anti-children rant to a friend who is about to tell you she’s engaged or pregnant

3) KSR winning a Pulitzer (We’ll be sure to thank Jerry Tipton in our speech.)

4) Sending a tweet that was meant to be a direct message (Am I right, Tom Crean?)

5) John Calipari running into Shabazz Muhammad at the NBA Draft

6) Your boss catching you looking at job listings…while at work

7) Complaining about the gluten-free craze to someone who has Celiac disease (Been there, done that)

8) Your first trip to Porcini’s after hearing about the Pitino/Sypher incident

9) Being in the bathroom at work when other people in the stalls “need privacy”

10) Joker Phillips accidentally going into the home locker room when Florida comes to town on September 28th

Your turn.

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

48 Comments for 10 Things More Awkward Than The Drew Barker Press Conference If He Chooses USC

  1. Biglaw Dawgin'
    2:06 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    I’m curious about #9, where do you work where there are people getting it on in the bathroom? I need a job change.

    • Mrs. Tyler Thompson
      2:08 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

      1 – I was trying to be polite…think of other reasons people would want privacy in the bathroom.

  2. Well....
    2:08 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Sypher and JoAnne Pitino running into each other in the bathroom. One of them wouldn’t have a square to spare.

  3. B-man
    2:11 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Being stuck on an elevator with an Athletic Director your routinely rip on your radio show.

  4. Rod
    2:18 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    1 – She meant getting it on by themselves.

  5. It happened
    2:19 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Taking your future father-in-law on your bachelor party!

  6. Musehobo
    2:20 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    I once was making fun of Will Ferell’s teeth to my brother-in-law, while his wife (who also had skyscraper teeth) stood next to him.

  7. Honky Kong
    2:23 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Talking about hunting “female bull elk” at a gun show.

  8. StareAtYourFeet
    2:25 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Running into Rick Pitino and Tim Sypher at the coat hanger store

  9. Michael F. Jox
    2:26 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    I once told my grandma via text that I was gonna “lick her ass” next time I saw her. Stupid auto-correct, I wanted to say “kick”.

    Also, I think you all may be overestimating the amount of UK football fans up here in NKY. I’ve lived here my entire life and I meet UK basketball fans pretty much everywhere I go, and about a handful that’s cared about the football team.

  10. Bill Bratzky
    2:26 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Talking about someone who is downstairs while in the room with the baby monitor.

  11. Wildcat
    2:31 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Back in the day having an old school Nextel with push to talk and telling your friends that your g/f is a bitch and should leave you a lone while the push to talk button is calling her.

  12. TDbigcat
    2:35 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Jason Collins showing up at your bachelor party.

  13. mudcreekmark
    2:35 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Knocking on a door and then asking the person who answered the door “are you the lady of the house”, and to come to find out it was actually the man of the house. I almost pooped my pants when the “Pat” look alike was actually a guy.

  14. Maybe
    2:37 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Ripping on preppy, obnoxious, ego-driven, Duke law school grads who think they know something about basektba…oh wait. He went where. Well, at least he’s not some hick from Midd…yeah, that too. Yeah. Nevermind.

  15. Ebrown21
    2:47 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Barker choosing Kentucky… then saying that he was just joking and puts on the South Carolina hat

  16. 15.
    2:48 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    I’m a troll. I like peter.

  17. Biglaw Dawgin'
    2:49 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    2 – TT, ahh, I got ya. I was reading ‘people’ as plural. Yeah, it can get pretty awkward when your boss is in there dropping a bomb. There, I said it for you.

  18. Kenny Howe
    2:49 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

  19. derrick
    2:50 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    whats up with CAL and ShabaZZ?

  20. Tom Crean
    2:50 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    My son turning his face to the side at the last second.

  21. Section 133
    2:51 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    10. Why would you tell your Grandmother you are going to “kick her ass,” much less “lick her ass” ?

  22. Like how you think 26
    2:52 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    There’s a tad bit of credibility on the line as many of the talking heads here have taken the exact opposite stand of many of the more well known and seasoned football recruiting analysts.

  23. Jp
    2:54 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Any chance at getting a new podcast up? Last one is from the 7th.

  24. GarrardCoPreacher
    2:56 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Rick Pitino getting a tattoo of a big L on his back, wait, that actually happened.

  25. Biglaw Dawgin'
    2:56 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    22 – haha, nice.

    Yeah, you’d think if he was going to pick USC he wouldn’t have invited everyone. The press conference is going to be worth watching either way. He’ll either 1) pick UK which will be great or 2) pick USC and we’ll get to see a good ole fashioned trainwreck.

  26. rickyp'hater
    2:57 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Russ smiths father finding out Russ was going to stay in school just after purchasing a new BMW.

  27. Black Francis
    3:05 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Kissing your grandmother goodbye and she wont let go of your tongue.

  28. #18
    3:12 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Wow. That’s really clever. You keep posting sunshine. No wait, that’s even more awkward.

  29. tripd
    3:17 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Asking a women wen she is do and she answers, I am not pregnant.

  30. RealCatsFan
    3:17 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    You know, I could actually picture Joker doing what TT has as #10 on her list.

  31. RealCatsFan
    3:18 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    31, I think it was Dave Berry who said to never, EVER ask a woman when she is due unless you can actually see the baby physically emerging from her.

  32. Rick Pitino
    3:21 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Going to my favorite Italian restaurant for some vino and late night cougar hunting, only to see that Karen got a job as the hostess to help pay her legal bills. (The upside is that she already knows where my favorite table is.)

  33. WTH?
    3:21 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Hitting on a chick at your 15th HS reunion and finding out she was the star Quarterback at your school………The next morning while ordering room service for two.

  34. Doo Doo Brown
    3:22 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Publicly calling coach Cal a cheater… then he becomes your coach.

  35. xfbvz
    3:25 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    whipping your rear with your hand then shaking hands with someone when you remember you forgot to wash up…

  36. tltaworl
    3:41 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Wiggins picks South Carolina and Barker picks North Carolina

  37. Teachable Mo'
    3:55 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Laughing about a religious practice of a sect in front of a minister of that sect. [Taxi!]

    I’d be more specific but there are many members of that sect in Ky. Way more than I realized at the time.

  38. Don't moderate me!!
    4:14 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Trying to let out a fart at your girlfriends house and accidentally *hiting down your pants and onto the expensive carpet and watch them get down sniffing it thinking it was the cat before realizing who it was!!! Oops!!!

  39. Memoir
    4:48 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    @#1 – late to the conversation but here goes : I once worked for a national discount store chain that ships pants. My store was remodeling and one day all work stopped. Seems a female greeting card rep and a construction worker decided to conduct business in the men’s room. For reasons yet unexplained, the commode became detached from the floor and the local fire department was called to stop the flooding. Yeah, that was awkward, especially when you saw those two every day.

  40. Hoof hearted
    5:32 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    1. Billie Clyde teaching a aaa class
    2. Adidas makes new uniforms for the filthy cards and when they get them they are orange ( they look stupid)
    3. A Indiana basketball player with long shorts, not red headed, doesn’t have a bob knight shrine n his basement, doesn’t live n a rubbed down mobile home on a corn field with his best friend only known as “bubby” and actually has his last name on the back of his jersey!

  41. Hoof hearted
    5:35 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    I meant “runned down” lol crazy autocorrect

  42. ohnohedidn't
    5:40 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    We took the family to see my brother in Georgia one year. He has been down there for a while and has really became a racist since living down deep in the south. We were all sitting around having conversation and catching up. He asked my daughter, who was probably 14 or 15 at the time, if she had a boyfriend. She said yea. He said, “well as long as it isn’t some big black n^&*(“. Of course my daughter was actually dating a black guy. My brother turned three shades of red and it really pissed all of us off that he would say that in front of our children

  43. mudcreekmark
    5:49 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    True story. I use to sell insurance door to door and I would run into all kinds of crazy things. Like the story I told above. Another time, I knocked on a door and an old man came to the door completely naked. He said wait just a minute. He closes the door and then returns with some clothes on and invites me in. We sit down and there on the coffee table there was a bird cage and a bird inside of the cage. The fist words that came out of his mouth was…………………………………………………..”I was just sitting here playing with my bird”.My come back was, ” well I kind of figured that”.

  44. thats budda
    5:55 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Having to drop a duece at the home of a first date and then realizing there isn’t any toilet paper, and having to yell for some. Right Matt

  45. dave
    7:46 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    when your grandma knows who sexnnursinhomes is

  46. Lukas Motley
    9:29 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Sitting next to Joker Philliphs while talking about Mark Stoops and how much Joker couldn’t recruit like him.

  47. Orangello
    11:02 pm May 9, 2013 Permalink

    Commenting on a woman’s baby bump and her looking at you with hate in her eyes to reply… “What are you talking about? I’m not pregnant you #^%@ing &%$hole.”