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The Sweetest Soulmates On The Good Place


THE GOOD PLACE -- "Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis" Episode 109 -- Pictured: (l-r) William Jackson Harper as Chidi, Kristen Bell as Eleanor -- (Photo by: Ron Batzdorff/NBC)

I’ve been conflicted about The Good Place.    The show has its moments, but can be convoluted.  For example, Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) is killed by an advertising vehicle that is selling erectile dysfunction medication. Before she died, Eleanor was a turd of a person, but by mistake she is sent to “The Good Place.”  The Good Place is where there are hundreds of frozen yogurt stores and you are paired up with your soulmate.  You can’t even cuss in The Good Place so Kristen Bell spends a lot of time saying “what the fork?” and “shirt!” It all seems perfectly lovely, but from the very beginning, Eleanor knows she’s not supposed to be in The Good Place.  By the time episode ten rolls around, Eleanor’s cover is blown and she is trying to stay away from the Bad Place. 

What’s surprising is that the perfect pair of soulmates doesn’t come from The Good Place’s pairing.  It is actually between two unlikely, star-crossed lovers.   Janet is a human/robot version of Siri.  Jason is supposed to be a Buddhist monk reaping the rewards of a life well lived, but is actually a unrefined bro from Jacksonville.  But, alas, they find each other!  Jason and Janet’s wedding is only one minute and thirty seconds long.  It is a compact and the perfect pairing of the sweetest soulmates on The Good Place.   Even though it’s convoluted at times, this scene is a 90 infomercial for this series.  So, see for yourself! Grab a few of your favorite thespians and recreate what makes The Good Place so good.

Scene: Janet & Jason’s Wedding

Setting:  If I had to pinpoint J & J’s wedding aesthetic it would be last-second minimalist.  The venue is definitely Jason’s home and I’m almost positive that he is the DJ that introduces himself. 
DJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get ready to MARRIED! <-(Not a typo)

Jason: Yo! Check it! 

*Jason rips the sleeves off of his tuxedo.  Remember, he's from Jacksonville.* 
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Jason is the perfect specimen of the type of person that is easy to like. He is a “hot dummy.” He once ate “electrical tape right off the roll.” To his credit, “ He thought it was fruit by the foot that had gone bad” but still a dum dum.

Eleanor:This is great. At different moments during our time here we’ve both thought that Tragic Mike over here was our one true love and now he’s marrying whatever Janet is. 
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It is at this moment that Eleanor releases the most delightful maniacal laugh. You’ve laughed like this before. You do it when the couple on House Hunters picks that house that is over 50 years old but probably wont need “any major improvements.” Eleanor’s pure delight in the hot mess that is steaming in front of her brings me joy. Eleanor asymptotes terribleness. She approaches being a wretched human being but never quite touches it. She has the potential to be decent, and that’s all we need to stay in her corner.

Tahani: I suppose you are right. This is a bit strange.

Jason: I'd like to read a poem.Janet, my digital queen.  Janet,  we can dare to dream/send nude pics of your heart to me/ Jacksonville Jaguars RULE!

*Janet seems unphased that she is clearly marrying such a simple man.* 

Janet: Jason, when I was rebooted and I lost all of my knowledge, I was confused and disoriented and you were always kind to me and according to the central theme of 231,600 songs, movies, poems and novels that I researched for these vows in the last three seconds, that’s what love’s all about. Does anybody here object to this marriage? 

Eleanor: of course we do, how could we not object?

Tahani: Yes. This is a terrible idea. 

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Tahani is the perfect specimen of the type of person that is easy to dislike. She smart, gorgeous and thoughtful. Yeesch, nothing like a decent person to make you feel like a garbage person.



Janet: Overruled. (now, to Jason)Jason, do you want me to be your wife?

Jason: Yea

Janet: I want you to be my husband. 

Jason: Tiight. 

Janet: So, by the power invested in me, by me, I now pronounce us husband and wife. 

Jason: We did it! Can I kiss you or will I be electrocuted? 

Eleanor: Only one way to find out. Kiss him! Go get it girl! I’m just going with it now. 

*Jason kisses Janet.  Doesn’t get electrocuted* :( 

As a rule, all wedding vows should be under 50 words.  This is all people’s attention spans can handle, especially when cake is implied at the end of the celebration. If you overthink it, Jason marrying a robot might be creepy. If you approach the marriage with the shallowness of Jason’s capabilities, you’ll see that this sweet marriage has a lot of heart.  

But seriously, don’t over think it because I’m almost positive it is a human and robot getting married.  It’s pretty forked up.

 

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.