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Adult Observations for the 25-Year-Old Home Alone 2

2017 marks the silver anniversary for Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.  The great milestone prompted the Plaza Hotel to offer a real life Kevin McAllister experience.  Cane’s decided to deviate from selling delicious chicken fingers and sell a “Kevin Plush Puppy.”  But more importantly, the anniversary has prompted many to re-watch the Christmastime favorite. What I’m saying is… it’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Like many movies, watching a movie with your 31-year-old eyes is way different than watching a movie with your 6-year-old eyes.  Below are my adult observation for Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

  1. This Evergreen Meme:

I’ve watched enough House Hunters to know that this house isn’t modestly priced. And even if the writers dared to give the McAllisters a profession that would attempt to pay this mortgage, I’m not sure if I’d find any believable.  (That is except for founders of McAllister’s Deli.)

  1. Creepy Uncle Frank

While Uncle Frank provided Kevin with the “creepy little pervert” soundbite for his TalkBoy, the fact that he left the door open while showering is disturbing.  As we have established, the large house is bursting at the seams with family members.  Uncle Frank is too loose for my taste and frankly has potential to be a creepy little pervert as well.

  1. Kevin’s Fake Solo

At the Christmas recital, Kevin sings “Christmas Tree O Christmas Tree.” It’s a real banger. Now that my musical tastes have matured, it’s painful obvious that Macaulay Culkin is clearly not singing these words. His solo is fake news.

  1. Buzz’s Mildly Offensive Nicknames

Buzz is a tough older brother.  We know this because he plays pranks on Kevin and peppers him with put-downs.  In 2017, all of his nicknames for Kevin seem mildly offensive.  I’m not sure what a “trout sniffer” is, but I’m almost positive it’s not appropriate.

  1. One Half of Pete & Pete

No matter how much you loved Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete and Pete, the show isn’t sticky.  It’s one of your favorites that is easy to forget.  Luckily, Pete #1, Michael C. Maronna, plays a small part in Home Alone 2 to help you remember.

  1. Rare Cinematic Air

Unlike most sequels, Home Alone 2 is as good, if not better than the original.  It is even hard to identify which memorable quotes go with which film.  Which came first, “Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal” or “Buzz, your girlfriend….woof.”?

  1. Suspended Believably

There comes a point in the movie where you have to put all your skepticism aside.  Yes, child protective services should have been called.  No, Kevin wouldn’t have been allowed on a plane, even in a pre-9/11 world.  But the thing that sticks out as the most disturbing are Kevin’s evil and maniacal booby-traps.  There are nail guns and sand bags and fire! His mind was quick to process and execute extremely wicked and intricate machines designed to inflict pain.

It’s disturbing.

  1. The History! 

As of 2017, only one American President has appeared in the movie.  Here’s to Michael C. Maronna in 2020!

Article written by Megan Suttles

I can't decide if I want to use this space to be witty or insightful. I guess it will be neither.