Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
While coaching the Team USA Under 19 team in Cairo, Egypt Kentucky Coach John Calipari decided to take in a little culture while he was in the cradle of civilization. Since he arrived with the team Coach Cal has been seen walking around like an Egyptian, as he’s toured sites many sites from Cairo and Giza. The Coach even got some souvenirs from the Sphinx and the Great Pyramids. However, during one of the tours of an ancient pharaoh’s burial grounds, Coach Calipari came across a hieroglyphic that stopped him in his tracks.
“These hieroglyphics hold the secrets of the past,” Calipari said. “The whole thing was fascinating to see but as I passed by, something caught my eye and I did a double take. It seemed like there was a single message I was able to decipher within the ancient code. It looked, to me, like there was a section that suggested that one of my sons, Willie Cauley-Stein may have played wide receiver in high school. Something I almost forgot!”
Using carbon-15 dating scientists have believe the engravings were made circa 2500 BC. Kentucky fans have confirmed this timeline as this was also the same time period when television announcers began using the anecdote.