Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
Sources from inside the UofL basketball program have revealed that Cardinal coach Rick Pitino has spent the past week inside his office, breaking down the film from ESPN’s most recent 30 for 30 film ‘One And Not Done.’ Watching film has always been an important part of Pitino’s routine, so it should be no surprise that he has spent so much time recently searching the tape for any sign of weakness he can exploit in his constant rivalry with the Kentucky coach.
“For Rick, 30 for 30 has always been more of a negotiating point, $30 for :30 is where he likes to start his… um… deliberations,” on staffer told us. “But he has really taken this seriously, he has scoured that thing for any and all ideas about how to start beating Calipari consistently.”
After his seventh viewing, Pitino reportedly called his staff together to announce “I think if we can just get him back to UMASS we can really start to compete.” The staff then brainstormed some ways that they could make that happen, the ideas included finding new ways to screw taxpayers and asking for money at gas pumps but nothing substantial came of the meetings.