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Predicting what Kevin Knox will hear tonight


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Kevin Knox has three in-home visits scheduled tonight beginning with North Carolina at 4:15 pm, followed by Missouri at 6:00 pm and then Duke at 8:00 pm. It will likely be his last three meetings with the five schools he is considering — Florida State and Kentucky were in last night — before he makes and announces his final decision sometime soon.

Barring a late, surprise invite, we will not be in Knox’s Tampa home when he meets with Roy Williams, Cuonzo Martin and Coach K. But that doesn’t mean we can’t predict the coaches’ final recruiting pitches, which I have done below.

 

Roy Williams, North Carolina

“Kevin, we need you dagummit. I tried to get Justin to stay one more year but he bolted for the dad-blum NBA with that new fiancee of his. Now my startin’ wing spot is open like a barn door and it’s all yours if you want it, kid. I can get you enrolled in whatever classes you want (wink, wink) with a dorm room full of all those Michael Jordan tennis sneakers. Now take a look at this box of UNC rings and tell me you want to be a Tar Heel. We can end this ‘crootment right here and now.”

Cuonzo Martin, Missouri

“Does your dad need a job? I’ll hire him right now. Director of Basketball ops work? Assistant? You name it and he’ll start tomorrow. Here, I even brought the Mizzou Athletics Employee Handbook and a map of campus. Now if you’ll just get him to sign this contract here and initial here and here, then fill out this I-9, we should be good to go. I went ahead and conducted a background check and he checked out, all good. I also had my secretary put together this welcoming package — there’s a card for a good realtor in there… Now Kevin, let me ask you: Are you a Tiger? Your dad and I would love to have you on our staff.”

Mike Krzyzewski, Duke

“Kevin, I heard you met with John Calipari last night. What did he tell you? … Okay, that’s exactly what I was going to say. Word for word. Swear. Soooo pick Duke instead? I have more titles and I coach Team USA.”

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

14 responses to “Predicting what Kevin Knox will hear tonight”

  1. cat fan stan

    Here goes another top wing player Cal misses on again

    1. 4everblue

      We can also count on you Stan for a negative comment. You should find a team with a coach you like, maybe it would make you a happier more positive screwball.

    2. catsarerunnin

      Stanley is having another bad week today.

  2. ukjaybrat

    “Your dad and I would love to have you on our staff.”

    hilarious.

    1. Big DAWG Loggin

      Agreed! Outstanding!

  3. Bluebloodtoo

    Nice job Drew. I had low expectations when I started that article, but it was pretty funny.

  4. Biglaw Dawgin'

    LMAO

  5. JLP

    I liked the Coach K part the best.

  6. Trevor

    I agree, I love the Coach K comment the best 🙂

  7. runningunnin.454

    Except Coach K no longer coaches the USA Men’s team; Gregg Popovich will coach the 2020 team.

  8. Suffering Fools

    Cal should start recruiting some crappy players just to throw Coach K off the trail.

    1. UKALLDAY1

      He kind of threw him off last year going so HARD after Bolden, which might have been the biggest mistake Coach K has made. They give up their true PG which they desperately needed last year for Bolden who ends up riding the bench the entire season. To add to that, they are no longer expected to get Mo Bamba, as they are all in on Bolden again next year (Theyd be favored to get him, if Bolden was not on the roster).

      Also Knox is going to Mizzou, crazy how good of a recruiter Michael Porter Jr. is. Comes in at the last minute and in a matter of weeks it looks like he is going to get the best wing other than himself in the class from all these coaches that have been recruiting him for 2+ years! Absolutely amazing

  9. dballrb

    With Vanderbilt injured,and Likely behind in development,getting knox and/or Bamba becomes a larger priority for Cal.

  10. tulei

    he’s photo-photo-bombing himself.