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Five Examples of Rich Brooks Winning Life


If YOLO was still a thing, Rich Brooks would be shouting it to the mountaintops, the ones he hasn’t already climbed. The former University of Kentucky head football coach has been living the dream since he retired in 2009 after almost half a century in the game. You tell me there is someone out there enjoying retirement more than Rich Brooks and I’ll look you dead in the eye and call you a liar, because it’s not true. Rich Brooks is winning retirement, one swing of the golf club while standing barefoot in a pond at a time.

Tonight, in honor of Coach Brooks’ Thursday trip to LEGO Land, we’ll look at five examples of Rich Brooks winning life. It’s OK to be jealous. In fact, it’s perfectly normal.

He went to LEGO Land today.

I don’t know what LEGO Land is or how to get there, but I imagine it’s a place of happiness. Coach Brooks stopped by today with his grandson and tweeted this photo of the LEGO Las Vegas:

If you look closely you’ll see the LEGO Mexicans handing out LEGO business cards for LEGO strip clubs.

He saw a man fall off an ostrich while watching ostrich racing earlier this week.

When’s the last time you saw a man fall off an ostrich? When’s the last time you went to the ostrich track? When’s the last time you simply saw on ostrich?

EXACTLY.

He canoed the Umpqua River last month.

Not pictured: the cooler of Bud heavies.

(I’m kidding. He probably drinks Busch Light.)

He caught whatever this is because the Umpqua River wanted him to have it.

Brooks reeled this in while you and I were shoveling our vehicles out of the snow to get to Kroger to stock up on groceries before more snow.

He wins money on the golf course like every single day.

ALL OF THOSE TWEETS ARE FROM THIS YEAR! THIS YEAR! WHO KEEPS PLAYING HIM FOR MONEY??!!!!!!!!!

And let’s not forget last summer when he took a picture of his finger at a Braves game…

Keep doing you, Coach. Keep doing you.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

20 responses to “Five Examples of Rich Brooks Winning Life”

  1. Booney

    Not a bad gig! He’s earned it. I wonder if Gillispie caddied for him, or at least tossed his empties for him.

  2. Catlogic15

    Rich Brooks was not only a great coach (NFL head coach experience) but a good administrator despite the continued roadblocks thrown by the AD. Coach Brooks knew what needed to be done to improve the program, and that is now being accomplished. Coach Brooks realized he was hogtied, allowed the administration to mandate his successor, and walked away. Then had to witness the indignity of his great staff being torn apart by the new coach. The legacy of Rich Brooks is so much more valuable than the majority of fans will ever realize.

  3. JBCat

    Rich Brooks– what a dude! Miss that guy..UK was lucky to have him as a coach for a few years.

  4. Umberto Valasquez

    Kentucky is ranked # 49 in the Well-Being Index
    Only West Virginia is worse

    1. Ben

      Umberto Valasquez , I want to say something before someone misinterprets your shitpost. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn’t like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn’t possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father’s harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school’s star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish – Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn?t open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral.

      Now Umberto Valasquez , I know what you are thinking. “How does this story relate to me?” Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. Your mother is like this woman. Your mother is like this women because she is a whore.

    2. Roy Calhoun, Esq.

      Because Kentucky is a cesspool, it is very easy to get disability. I can set you up with a nice disability check so you can relax and follow KSR all day long

    3. D.Sanchez

      If the boy was born in 1967, how did he die at the age of 63? I guess the priest never taught you math.

  5. Philly

    PAP-PAW!!!

  6. Speechless

    Must be a heck of a slow news day Drew!!!

  7. E. S. Peein

    Retirement golf, yet rolled up pants, and competitively naked feet in a nasty nitrogenous pond……… meant one thing: Cash forkin’ money on the line. Winner!

  8. JBCat

    Roy Calhoun, Esq– Suck my c@$k, eat sh!t, take your KY hate and burn in hell

  9. Um... What?

    Why are the Lego men that hand out strip-club cards Mexican?

    1. Bigblueyoung

      Because it only makes sense???

    2. TPACAT

      Never been to Vegas, I see…

    3. What Stays In Vegas

      The funniest part is all the strippers are white single moms.

  10. Bigblueyoung

    Ben, your comment is the greatest burn I have ever witnessed!

  11. Kentucky Dept of Fish and Wildlife

    He must be blind if he thinks that steelhead is over 2 lbs. Embarrassing claim coach brooks

  12. Thoroughly Entertained

    Comments like Ben’s are the reason I check through the comments every now and then. Well played, sir!

  13. RCB

    Plain and simple: Rich Brooks is the man. Also, Umberto got roasted.