Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
While it may have won big at the box office with the largest opening weekend ever, Star Wars: The Last Jedi managed to lose the admiration of the nerdiest portion of the Big Blue Nation, and they have subsequently taken to Twitter in droves to relay their disappointment with the latest installment of the Star Wars film franchise.
Some of these nerds blame the corporate fatcats at Disney for the commercialization of the commercial enterprise, while others want to point the blame at a director who previously only worked with Joseph Gordon Levitt. Regardless of where the fingers are being pointed, their question is the same, “Where is Kenny ‘Sky’ Walker?”
In the early 80’s Lexington was home to a lot of outerspace friendly basketball players, as Melvin Turpin was known as the Big Dipper and Kyle “O Ren” Macy enjoyed his senior year as a star and in their wars nerds found a crossover fanbase with the Kentucky Wildcats.
“Look I came to this film with the promise of learning more about the Skywalker clan and how far across time and space their lineage spans, and you aren’t even gonna show a glimpse of the only one that has won an NBA Dunk contest?” asked Walker’s former coach and mentor Joe B. Hall Kenobi.
“Someone even gave me a spoiler before I went. They said you’d get to see someone related to Luke flying around like this,” explained the Coach as he tried to mimic the ‘Michael Jordan Jumpman’ pose, “and I thought for sure that meant we’d see Kenny posterizing that dude from Girls, but no dice. Literally.”
While many fans attended the premier of the long awaited Star Wars installment at the Kentucky Theatre, they were left more questions than answers at the advertised post-film Q&A with Kenny “Sky” Walker.
“I had a bunch of questions about what it was like to hang out on set with Warwick Davis, but it turns out Kenny never even met him, and he hadn’t even seen Willow. So total bust,” said Hall who still plans on watching the next film. “OH yeah a young Hand Solo in his own movie? I’ll be there.”