Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
News was made this week when computer scientists had to shut down artificial intelligence robots this week after the robots created and began to communicate in a language that only they could understand. At least, that’s what the computer scientists that brought you bejeweled blitz believed. As it turns out though, there was at least one person that was able to understand the newly created language of the robots, central Kentucky’s own Ryan Lemond.
“We had our best linguists trying to crack this code and we couldn’t figure it out, and that’s very concerning, considering that’s how so many futurist, dystopian movies begin, so we shut down the robot.” Faceook Computer Scientist Sarah Conner said. “But then, a few minutes after shutting down the bots we still saw messages coming in written in the robot language. It was some guy from Lexington, Kentucky.”
“I was just trying to talk to some new friends I’d made online, ya know?” Lemond said. “I saw these weird messages coming through and it was hard to understand at first but I figured it out and started responding and we really started to bond a bridge. I did have to start translating the language though, you know, to prove to my wife that everything was above board.”
“We’ve had the top researches from Stanford and MIT here to investigate and no one could make sense of the language or how it came to be,” Conner said. “So we could not wait to meet the computer savant and expert communicator out of Lexington.”
For Lemond, his understanding of computers goes back quite a ways, “I started learning about computer languages the first time I tried to figure out our Domino’s delivery tracker thing. I dunno, those computer languages have always made sense to me. It’s all ones and zeros, which is great because I’m not great at math. The computers they just do one, zero, zero, one, one you know? But when I talk to Matt he tries to bring in all these other numbers and says stuff like ‘no, it’s not ten, double o, one, that’s ten thousand and one. People make stuff way too confusing dude, computers, that’s where it’s at.”